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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

SIL arrrrggggggggggghhhhhh

46 replies

Trina29 · 28/08/2009 23:53

Am i being unfair in thinking that my SIL is milking her illnesses? Just over 2 yrs ago she had an ectopic pregnancy. She was advised not to get pregnant for at least 18mths-2yrs for her body to heal. She got pregnant within 3mths. She was in and out of hosp due to high BP and had a c-section. Then again she was advised not to get pregnant but within 4mths she was. She was again ill putting not only herself at risk but her baby and again had a c-section and blood transfusion. Then about 4 yrs ago she found a lump in her neck had it checked nothing found. Last mth had a biopsy and came back inconclusive then last wk had the lump removed now she thinks she has cancer. I feel awful but she has cried wolf one too many times for me.

OP posts:

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite · 28/08/2009 23:54

YABU. It's not your life!!

hobbgoblin · 28/08/2009 23:55

yabu definitely

themoon66 · 28/08/2009 23:56

Everyone has at least one relative like her... it's the law

I have at least 3.

beanieb · 28/08/2009 23:59

YABU.

You really are. She hasn't cried wolf, she's been through some really shitty experiences and you are being mean.

Original poster

Trina29 · 28/08/2009 23:59

Glad i only got the one. Her grandmother has been taken into a home due to going blind but the whole thing has turned around on her and how ill she is. My hubby is fed up of listening to her.

OP posts:

Fruitysunshine · 29/08/2009 00:02

Perhaps she talks about it a lot because she feels nobody cares...

famishedass · 29/08/2009 00:02

YABU - it's not crying wolf if the illnesses and problems were real is it?

Is it at all possible you could offer her some sympathy and support or assist her in any way in view of the fact that after two difficult pregnancies she now fears she may have cancer?

There but for the grace of God and all that

Original poster

Trina29 · 29/08/2009 00:04

I am not being mean at all! She was advised not to try having children for a certain ammount of time and yet she did! She should be concentrating on her 2 young children.

OP posts:

Quattrocento · 29/08/2009 00:05

The term crying wolf means that she has invented illnesses

None of the illnesses you have described sound as though they have been invented

Has this charmless thread been posted because you are irritated because your DH has to spend time listening to her?

TheCrackFox · 29/08/2009 00:06

Maybe her pregnancies were unplanned?

I found a lump in my neck (wasn't serious) but I was crapping myself.

YABU and a bit mean.

famishedass · 29/08/2009 00:07

Oh Trina, Trina, Trina, - she's had a lot more of the family attention and focus than you. Let it go love, otherwise all that bitterness and resentment will make you ugly, inside and out.

beanieb · 29/08/2009 00:07

she should be concentrating on her children instead of what? really, trust me you are being mean.

Original poster

Trina29 · 29/08/2009 00:08

She gets plenty of support off her parents. Yes the ectopic was awful but she should have listened to medical advice.

OP posts:

TheCrackFox · 29/08/2009 00:09

Doctors would be twiddling their thumbs if we all did as we were told.

Mumcentreplus · 29/08/2009 00:11

you need to let go (what of I'm not sure tbh)..she sounds like she's been through the mill..following orders..no she has not..but still doesn't sound easy..support her ..if you can't keep away and try not to judge her

Original poster

Trina29 · 29/08/2009 00:12

Yes i am irritated when my husband had his one and only day off work it was spent ferryin his sister to and from hosp when she can drive and could easily call a taxi so very annoyed as i would never dream of calling her husband to do the same!!!

OP posts:

Quattrocento · 29/08/2009 00:13

You posted AIBU

You've got resounding YABUs

Do with that information what you will

You can ignore - which is what you are choosing to do

Or you could try being nice to your SIL (and allowing your DH to do the same)

TheCrackFox · 29/08/2009 00:13

Why are you angry with her? You should be angry with your DH. He could have said no.

beanieb · 29/08/2009 00:16

what if her husband was your brother, would you call him then?

famishedass · 29/08/2009 00:16

Please tell me you've just come in from the pub and you're drunk. Please. Coz the thought that you might be saying all these things whilst stone cold sober is awful.

Original poster

Trina29 · 29/08/2009 00:21

No am sober am annoyed that is all and no i wouldnt bother my brother if had one. Thanks all.

OP posts:

tinkerbellesmuse · 29/08/2009 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

famishedass · 29/08/2009 00:29

don't hold back tinkerbellesmuse - just say exactly what's on your mind.

Quattrocento · 29/08/2009 00:29

I've brought up my children to expect support from us as their parents and from one another as siblings. It's normal. If DD were to experience these issues I'd EXPECT DS to do a bit of fetching and carrying and turning up at bedsides with fruit and flowers.

My honest suggestion is that you should invest some time in working through your feelings.

Servalan · 29/08/2009 00:30

Good grief. YABVU. Are there are other unspoken issues going on here? Otherwise what you have posted could be perceived as pretty nasty and mean spirited

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