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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that this philosophy is only O.K in certain circs?

56 replies

Ninks · 28/08/2009 21:49

Got chatting to my next-but-one neighbour the other day. He has long greasy dark hair, tattoos all over, badly-drawn ones, on his neck, hands, face and all. Dodgy beard and lives with his Mum. All very good for getting turned down for jobs even though you are young and fit as you like.

He admitted that he has a two year old "kid", but he is not allowed to "see it".

He has spent most of the summer holidays in his Mum's garden playing with DD, (sadly) and the other neighbour's DD and supposedly SAHD most days.

Anyway. Was hanging washing out when we had a chat and he said, "I don't care if someone's a teacher or social-worker or ... they are NOT better than me. Nobody is better than me! We are all the same!"

Now the bloody idiot has acquired a second-hand Staffie dog and already he is leaving it to its own devices in the garden and it is digging it's way under the fences to my toddler.

The oher day he heard that the nice couple across the road were wondering who he was and he confronted them on their doorstep swearing and shouting. He admitted trying to wind up the bloke by saying that his GF was ugly.

He told me this when I was hanging washing out. He admitted trying to make a bloke who has a job and supports his child, hit him and get in trouble and was amazed that he didn't. He couldn't see that the man was thinking and never will.

Is nobody better than him? AIBU?

OP posts:

Cataline · 28/08/2009 21:52

Personally, I would certainly consider myself better than this guy (and nothing to do with the fact that i'm a teacher !)

Sounds like scum to me.

hobbgoblin · 28/08/2009 21:53

for some bizarre reason i thought that GF stood for SWMNBN in that sentence about GF being ugly.

Original poster

Ninks · 28/08/2009 22:04

Oh and whenever I see him he says, "I don't hit women, me, I don't. I told the police / social services that I don't and I don't, so I told them to fuck off and not come back and they didn't".

He seems to be trying with the second-hand dog though, being firm and all, but shouldn't he be rewarding him for sitting and staying with chocs too? I have no idea about dogs but I am in a frenzy of judging!

OP posts:

curiositykilled · 28/08/2009 22:16

Anybody with a bull terrier is the lowest kind of scum

SolidGoldBrass · 28/08/2009 22:24

Some people are just complete turds. It is probably possible, if you dig deep, to find some good qualities in them, but that's kind of not your job or responsibility when confronted with an adult waste of oxygen who just happens to live nearby. Smile politely and avoid.

MaggieLeo · 28/08/2009 22:31

Well, I think he's twisting something. All people have equal human rights yes. But he's misinterpreting that, changing it from equal human rights into 'not gonna respect no one'

Eleanor Roosevelt once said "nobody can make you feel inferior without your persmission" but most people's default position would be to show everybody respect unless they intentionally belittled you.

He has one of those dogs though. You're very egalitarian speaking to him. I would have crossed the road to avoid him! Based only on the dog! what a bigot I am myself.

KateMess · 28/08/2009 22:31

Tell him only a fool would deny that some horses run faster than others...

2shoes · 28/08/2009 22:33

even the dog is trying to escape

Mumcentreplus · 28/08/2009 22:34

Def. with SGB on this keep contact short and sweet..although you would be surprised that some who seem scum have more heart and a better conscience than some who are repectable..
I like bull terriers..actually I like most dogs (and I'm not a dog lover) it's dog people that piss me off..

Original poster

Ninks · 28/08/2009 22:35

I am always suspicious of people who tell you what sort of person they are:

"I'm really honest"

"I keep meself to meself"

"I ain't violent"

These people remind me of ExH who was all about the telling but when it came to the showing he was a twunt.

Neighbour boy's Mum borrowed a fiver from me months ago and paid me back three. Two weeks ago she borrowed another five and I haven't seen her in the garden or anywhere. I know it's only a few quid but still, I'd be mortified borrowing from people I hardly knew so I'd be wanting to pay them back quick smart?

OP posts:

junglist1 · 28/08/2009 22:43

MaggieLeo you're joking, right. Not everyone who has staffies is a scumbag you loon either or depending on whether joking or not

curiositykilled · 28/08/2009 22:54

I think scumbags generally want to own bull terriers but not all bull terrier owners are scumbags. Although lots of them who think they're not scumbags actually are.

Actually, that goes for a lot of dog owners. People who think they can keep large dogs locked in flats/houses/cars all day then walk them for 10 mins round a park every couple of days, people who think the bye-laws about dogs in parks don't apply to them because their dog is well-trained, people who treat dogs like they are babies, people who don't clean up poo, people who teach their dog to fight... the list is loooong. I'm not sure why you don't have to have a license to keep a dog in the UK anymore, especially when there are such large numbers of people keeping bull terriers that can kill a child so easily.

curiositykilled · 28/08/2009 22:55

Ooo people who let their dogs ride loose in the car -

junglist1 · 28/08/2009 22:59

Yep some dog owners are crap. But crossing the road to avoid someone because of the type of dog they own is a bit

RumourOfAHurricane · 28/08/2009 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Ninks · 28/08/2009 23:00

Is a staff a bull terrier?

All that bothers me is that the gardens are very loosely secured and that this dog is a huge fecking sack of muscle compared to my puny toddler.

Again - it is NOT being trained. AIBU to be wary?

OP posts:

2shoes · 28/08/2009 23:03

curiositykilled cheer thanks
I used to have staffs, so you think I am (and someother mn people) are scum

curiositykilled · 28/08/2009 23:03

Ninks - no, not unreasonable at all. Could you report the behaviour of the owner to the local dog warden? They'd probably come and have a word about keeping the dog somewhere safe and training it properly.

junglist1 · 28/08/2009 23:03

A staffie is short for Staffordshire bull terrier. A bull terrier is the long nosed type dog. They are not American pit bull terriers, which are illegal here

junglist1 · 28/08/2009 23:07

Also if the dog is second hand you don't know it's history so I'd keep an eye out. You don't know if it hasn't been abused or neglected which could affect temperament. Sadly these dogs are sometimes abused by pondlife. Ask the owner about the history. He might be understanding and surprise you

HolyGuacamole · 28/08/2009 23:11

Oh there are plenty of people better than him.

I was on the bus a few years ago and this eejit guy started talking to me. He was half canned and was drinking a can of cider. Within 5 minutes of me trying my best to ignore this guy I knew that he was on his way to pick up his wean (Scottish word for child) of 2 years old who he had only ever seen twice and was having her for the weekend. That the mother of said child was a "bit of a cow, a slag, y'know, shagged her years ago but it was never anything more than a shag y'know" and how if she knew he'd been drinking she'd never let him take the wean. Handily he told me had a packet of polo mints though to hide the stench of his breath......(Christ as if the poor woman wouldn't have noticed the slur in his speech and stagger in his walk.)

He then went on to say how he managed to hold down his job as a plasterer even though he had 2 warnings for "having cans on the job"!! FFS. And how he was a respectable guy, better than most guys his age and how he might apply for custody of this little girl as he knew the mother had "guys in about her all the time". Seriously!

It was so embarrassing. I thought people on the bus would think that I knew him!!! but when he eventually got off (thank the Lord), other people looked round at me with a sort of sympathetic half smile.

Anyway, OP, your story reminded me of that guy.

OrmIrian · 28/08/2009 23:13

No-one is better than him. Most of us do better than him. It's called growing up.

curiositykilled · 28/08/2009 23:15

junglist - the long nosed ones are english bull terriers aren't they? They're all part of the bull terrier family anyway.

Staffs were specifically bred to be killing machines. They need careful, strong leadership. They are listed as one of the more 'dangerous' types of dogs out of the bull terrier family.

junglist1 · 28/08/2009 23:15

Good post, twas that

Original poster

Ninks · 28/08/2009 23:18

Neighbour on the left, (other) -hand side has always been very open that she has a rescue dog not great around children. My DS and DD don't have anything to do with her.

This new dog has been snarling and digging under the fence. My DD aged 9 thought it was a fantastic idea to imitate the new dog and made it try to chew through the fence to get at her.

Can see toddler DS imitating the muscled animal and thinking that he's in an episode of, "Show me Show Me" as the

OP posts:

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