To think it's really, really distasteful to dress up as a 'sexy schoolgirl'?

[waitingforfanjo]

It's not that I'm a prude or anything. I've done it myself in my twenties several times (for a party, not ahem private titillation)

It's just lately since I've had my own child, and with so much public awareness of paedophilia and its apparent standing as THE crime people hate most, it just seems to grate on me that people can think it's still ok to sexualise what is essentially a child's outfit.

I suppose what I'm trying to say (but not very well) is that it's a bit like dressing as a Nazi for a party. It's not funny because of all the bad connotations & just not the 'done' thing.( but not quite the same, IYSWIM)

I am probably BU, but it just makes me feel a bit 'eew!'

I said earlier in the thread that I have dressed as a schoolgirl for my partner and wondered what posters opinion was on the fact that doing so does turn me on too? Does that make me some kind of pervert? Does a 15 year old girl having fantasies about her teacher make her a pervert or turn schoolgirls into sexual beings/objects?

By the way I used to think that all that kind of dressing up was wrong for many of the same reasons posted here but since I have started doing it I have discovered it makes me feel good, makes my partner feel good and is not harming anyone. The Schoolgirl uniform is the easiest thing to copy at home as probably everyone has a shirt, tie and skirt lying about the place. If I had a nurses outfit hanging about then we might give that a go but we don't.

"So many nurses I know have been groped and propositioned and blame the whole uniform dress up thing on it"

but not every man who likes his partner to dress up as a nurse would do something as inappropriate as groping a real life nurse! I don't think you can say that two people doing something in the privacy of their own home like playing doctors and nurses is responsible for that kind of unacceptable behaviour by a minority of men.

Of course I wouldn't dress up as bloody sponge bob!

Morloth - I think that to me dressing up as a schoolgirl does make me think 13 year old, as I have a 13 year old schoolgirl daughter.

I don't automatically think paedophilia, however it would make me feel very uncomfortable and ick.

Just as an aside I don't personally get the "naughty nurse" thing at all. When you think about the stuff nurses have to do in real life... eewwww.

But that's the whole thing about a fetish - on person's normal is another's "eeewww". As others on here have said, the whole "woman of 20+ dressed as a schoolgirl" thing is about as far from a paedophile's wet dream as it is possible to get. So arguing that it "normalises" the fetish is misleading. No fetish is "normal" - that's the point.

Men who want to see the new St. Trinian's film will do so because they are normal, red-blooded heterosexual men who like seeing Sarah Harding and Gemma Atherton - grown women - in short skirts, and there is nothing wrong with that.

If we get sidetracked into getting all Daily Mail about this, then we risk NOT frothing at the mouth where we should - about the instances of child abuse which predominantly take place within the home and at the hands of family members.

I agree with you UQD

IMO it is a total red herring to worry about this sort of thing

The nurse's thing is funny - I blame Kenneth Williams. Of course in real life, nurses are 30-stone dykes with shaved heads and nose rings who are built like Mr T. My DH was sorely disappointed during a recent in-patient stay.

sponge bob is not gay
no way

nada

..unless Sandy Cheeks is a beard

scottishmummyofone
LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL
RFOL
!!

Totally disagree UQD, this kind of pandering to male fantasies does help perpetuate the sexualisation of young girls and normalises it so vulnerable women/girls can easily get the wrong message.

A lot of girls who become vulnerable to paedophiles are not just in the family nowadays, they are on the internet and in contact with god knows who. These images blur some of these distinctions imo.

I don't understand why British male sexuality (like Japanese male sexuality) is so focussed on making women into ickle girls and generally trying to persuade everyone that Bumming Is Best unless it's two men!!!

hoorah for lowland lady

What about that St. Joseph - he was about 50 and that Mary was only 13

He should have been banged up

Post-menarchial girls have always been the prized totty

Of course you don't fancy people ONLY your own age - does Hugh Heffner hang around with naked 80 year olds in bikinis? I fink not

Sorry but whether a chap is 20 or 120 he will be dribbling slightly at the sight of a busty teenager glowing with life

spongebob is sooo gay - even Fox News notices

you can draw a line between 'pervs over in a lad mag' and 'would go out with in real life'

but i do think it is a red herring.

I really don't think our young are any more sexualised than they have been in the past, though i do think there is greater commercial exploitation of it (lads mags, 'kitten' clothing, stuff stuff stuff.)

though I am unlikely to dress as a schoolgirl any time soon.

do you think my bum would look big in a spongebob outfit?

I am totally against the sexualisation of young girls and will not allow DD to wear crop tops and heels and so on. That's a totally different thing from grown women wearing fancy dress.

"Is it normal for a 35 year old man to fancy teenagers? No, not really."

And yet a lot of men in their 30s go out with, even marry, women who are not much older than that. By the time he is 57 and she is 41, I doubt anyone will bat an eyelid.

I think most men just think: "Wow, round bouncy boobies" rather than "Hmm...a proper analysis of this situation reveals a potential imbalance in the vulnerability of our respective psyches"

Hugh Hefner I also doubt that most men are thinking "Oh dear, look at the age discrepancy"

There are far more truly disturbing, harmful and frankly insane fetishes to be discussing than an obviously sexually mature woman dressed in schoolgirl attire.

My hubby prefers the burlesque / Moulin rouge look but if he fancied having me in a little pleated skirt and white shirt then I wouldn't think "sick perv" at all. He did point out a rubber nurses dress the other day though, my only objection to wearing that would be that it wouldn't suit me.

Peadophiles who like little girls want them to look like little girls, not real women.

I do think that the Japanese view on sex and porn is VERY odd though, some of the anime stuff is plain nasty, they seem to have a very warped view of female sexuality - but then I think a lot of "normal " porn is pretty vile too.

I can't imagine that seeing a girl in uniform would transform a 'normal' person into a paedo under any circumstances. Did someone actually say that on this thread? How ridiculous.

Have you noticed how it's not about 'sexy teens' but 'sexy female teens'? It's not about men and women dressing up to look sexy, it's just another example of where women dress to appeal to men.

Reminds me of a convo on these pages about whether it was okay for a man to lust after a teenage girl or a woman to lust after a teenage boy. I think there was again a gender difference discussed but on the whole the consensus seemed to be that teenaged boys are just feral - hence, IMO, why it's teen girls that are fetishised in uniform.

Personally I find the Britney/ School Disco ilk grim and tacky, but perhaps that simply makes me a snob rather than a hystericon.

dittany - how young are the girls in lads mags?

I am not one to get trash like Viz, or the others, but happened (while getting rid of a virus from a client's son's PC) came across website MaxPower.co.uk which (a) requires any model to be over 18, and (b) doesn't allow bare nipples even though 'artistic nude' shots may easily be seen elsewhere.

'Girls were not subject to this treatment in the past' - really? Even in the late 60s before I went to a grammar school I had seen Mayfair and Fiesta (away at boarding school, but obtained by someone else) and those, while tame by later standards, contained plenty of full frontal shots...

Certainly they'd have been top shelf, but with the policy of WHSmith to not distribute 'filth', but still stocking some lads mags (I assume, years since I've looked for them) then it seems to me that while there may be slightly more bare body on show, they've tamed the content somewhat to meet WHSmith rules and not be lost from supermarkets etc.

I think I'm with morningpaper on this, from 20 to at least 80, if Benny Hill's 'Angels' (or whatever they were called) failed to cause an increase in a man's heart rate, he either prefers guys, or has is so old, he has forgotten why he should be stirred to attention! (However seeing later comment, no, 'round bouncy boobies' don't do it for this man... gimme a nice handful of bottom however, and some nice curves (perhaps from a corset) and that's far more appealing.

As for the odd fetish, there are some I find simply strange, such as high heels (esp when some guys like their balls stamped on with stilletos - yeowch!) and smoking. Rubber/PVC does little for me... nor piercings all over.

Particularly strange in my view is the inclusion in such material as those 'Barely Legal' films of young women taking a pee, which again does nowt for me. Perhaps it's the taboo nature that is the appeal (?)

dittany re 41 vs 19 (rather than a much younger teenager)...

No, I think the point was well made.

Our society is certainly skewed against older woman/younger man ("toy boy") where some might simply say "sly old dog" (if they were envious) when an older man has picked up a younger woman. (Others may consider her a gold-digger and others might class her as selling herself.)

I'm not trying to defend this mismatch, but do feel that (given the majority posting here are women) you may be feeling strongly against this as (a) you may have teenage daughters and understandably want to protect them, and (b) may know of some rat, the ex-H of a friend, who 'went for a younger model' which may increase hostility towards any man who does this, whether they had been married or single.

There's a similar mismatch about teenage males and females, where girls who have lots of partners are badmouthed, by males and females alike, while 'young bucks', sowing their oats, get a tacit acceptance (perhaps more from fathers than mothers - anyone?)

That has probably reduced, because there's greater awareness of STIs yet unprotected sex goes on, and it's still 'lucky s*d' for a bloke, and 'tart' as reference for a girl.

Unfair, yes, and I don't know why it is, short of that earlier posting about a virgin girl being seen as a trophy as she won't have any disease to pass on... sleeping with a number of men, and she's 'spoiled goods'...

No mememememe the fact you and your partner enjoy you being dressed as a schoolgirl does not make you a pervert by any stretch.

It does seem there's an enormous chasm between the 'it's OK' side and 'it's sick' side. I suspect the latter portion have teenage girls and therefore see them as being at risk if men find a 'sexy schoolgirl' look a turn-on.

As TrillianAstra put it, 'sexy sixth former' rather than 'sexy primary schooler' and that seems the sticking point for me - the former seems fine to me, comparable with someone in skin-tight jodhpurs (who may be late teens, twenties or much more mature, but still a turn-on) where I'd question my own sanity if I found anyone under 16/18/20 to be attractive in a sexual way.

hmm jodhpurs are a familiar theme

Don't forget I am a father. I have a 9-year-old daughter who I am very anxious to protect from over-sexualising, to the extent of dubiously scrutinising High School Musical tops and the like to make sure they don't look too "slutty".

That, though, is a totally separate issue from the likes of Sarah Harding or Gemma Atherton in a "schoolgirl" outfit, which is basically a costume or fancy dress.

And, let's face it, the "St Trinian's/naughty schoolgirl" outfit is pretty much nothing like the vast majority of "school uniforms" worn by real-life teenage girls. If the "naughty schoolgirl" costume consisted of a pair of ugly, scratchy grey/black trousers, with a nasty polo shirt and a creased sweatshirt featuring a banal crest designed by committe, then people might have something to worry about.

The point about the age gap is valid, simply because someone said it was odd for 35-year-old men to fancy 19-year-olds. Well - it's not. Not when you look at the number of marriages with age gaps, some of whom got together when the woman was very young. It's a totally separate issue again.