to consider moving to a town (Saffron Walden) so that my DCs can be state educated (good schools)?

[thedolly]

ATM we live in a semi rural area and the DCs are at a Prep School. We are very happy with the school but the money to pay for it will run out eventually and I will end up working to pay for school fees.

Should we just stay put (in our very nice house) and brave the local state schools or move to a place where house prices are very expensive but the schools have a good reputation?

AMumInScotland - my mind is very definitely not made up.

violethill - you say that but I was reading a thread a while ago and Litchick (I think she is an author) posted about such an event at a state school and how badly it was received.

Yes, private schools are very good at self promotion - you only have to look on the charity commission website to see how much they spend on advertising.

The DC used to go to an over-promoted 'posh' private school and they now go to one which has it's feet on the ground and offers a much better educational experience (but still with acres of lovely grounds). The pastoral care and sense of belonging is great and there is no hot housing.

So you see, I am coming down in my expectations - I just have one more move to make.

thedolly, I too admire your honesty but really, you've got to go and see these schools and judge for yourself. I think that what private schools seem to have the time and inclination to do is to find that thing that inspires each child and that they're (possibly) good at and encourage them to pursue it. Round our way (excellent state schools), parents fulfil that role i.e. pay for extra-curricular activities and ferry them to and from them. Are you prepared to do that? Anyway, I strongly believe that you and your partner are the major influences on your children, not their school in terms of aspirations/ambitions etc.

Have you looked at the (long) moving to Saffron Walden thread on mumsnet? Yes there are a lot of good schools here, but there are also a lot of children and you will be lucky to get places in the better schools. When we moved here (to a rural location since in SW the village children get bussed into town for school, or some of the villages have excellent schools themselves) we ended up putting our children into an independent school for a year until places came up in a local state school. So there is no guarantee your children would get places at a school that you would approve of.
Having said that I think YABU to have any negative thoughts about moving to such a beautiful area when SW is a gorgeous tiny market town!

Thinking about this some more, self-motivation is the most crucial thing in terms of being successful at anything IMO.

yes flasharriet, I am prepared to do the ferrying around outside of school thing. I do that to a certain extent now as DD plays violin outside of school.

The major influence on me was my schooling in terms of it opening up a wider world. I am grateful to my parents for allowing me the opportunity to go to a good school at some expense to themselves and certainly outside their comfort zone.

Millarkie - yes, I have read every word. The house we are looking at is on West Road.
I already live in a beautiful area with a gorgeous tiny market town not too far away but the state schools aren't quite as good (on paper) and the 3 tier system is a logistic nightmare with 3 DC.

flasharriet - I agree that self-motivation is important but why make it difficult for children to be self-motivated (may happen if DC immersed in an environment where there is not much aspiration)

My father went to private school and hated every minute of it, his brother on the other hand loved it, despite being the same schools.

I went to state school, and have done ok for myself, but have plenty of friends (and children of my parents' friends) who went to private school, and have basically dossed about since leaving school. Most, if not all of them, quit university after a few months as it was too demanding. those of us in the same group who went to state schools - none of us quit uni, all got degrees, and all have rewarding jobs now. My parents have both had comments from friends whose kids went to private schools along the lines of 'how did you child do so well, when they only went to a state school?'.

Now, it's not only the school that resulted in us being tolerable human beings - our parents helped, no matter how ghastly they can be at times - but certainly, going to a good state school has in no way hindered my chosen career path. My father was massively screwed up by his private school who insisted on him applying for medicine, which he did not want to do, so he ended up on the course he wanted at a uni he wasn't so keen on, simply due to their meddling.

Also, could you not have your kids go to a state primary and save up for private secondary schools, where they will be pushed more in exams?

I believe that research shows that actually aspirations are largely set by one's family - so if parents assume that a child will study hard, go to University and have a professional career, it is reasonably likely that this is what will happen. If I remembercorrectly, you get a sizeable impact on aspiration just by having aunts, cousins etc with high aspirations / experiences. Where teachers and peers come into is is when the parents don't have those aspirations for their child.

It's certainly true that students who report having developed high levels of self-motivation at school are likely to report having an easier time at University where these levels of self-motivation are necessary.

There is quite a lot of research on aspirations, family and schools that you might want to look into if you're really interested.

arolf - for me it is not about the exams or 'pushing', it's more about developing a love of learning that will hopefully last a life time.

For some reason I have this idea that a love of learning will be more easily developed in a beautiful place surrounded by beautiful people and acres of lush green parkland.

Am I totally deluded?

Thanks for that GrendelsMum. It is interesting the distinction between whether or not the aspirations come from home and the effect of peers.

So I shouldn't worry about my DC being 'dragged down' , they will be fine as long as I have high aspirations for them.

Doesn't everyone have high aspirations for their DC?

Ok so working is out of the question, unless at the private school. Which admittedly would be great but a job does have to come up in the right subject etc.

So it sounds like you're veering towards staying where you are?

Well I've only glossed over the responses here.

So... in response to your initial question, No, I dont thing YABU to consider moving to get your children into 'better' schools. Even if it means downsizing.

That was the basic question wasnt it - regardless of who considers what to be a 'better' school?

We are considering moving ourselves for this very reason (not yet, DS is only 2) - we won't be able to afford private but there are some grammar schools that DH has his eye on and at this time, they look very appealling for many reasons. I actually would be quite happy to send DS to one of our local schools based on what I've heard BUT if we can give him 'better' opportunities/education by moving elsewhere (and I'm not talking a big shift from where we are now) then I will. IF it possible when the time arises. And dependant on his own emerging abilities as well - those factors are unknowns at the moment.

Obviously as people have stated, it depends on how you qualify those 'better opportunities' - by Ofsted report, results, word of mouth, personal 'inspection' etc etc.

In my own experience, I know for a fact that I got a 'better' education from my private school - this is compared purely to the specific school my step-sisters attended. We had fantastic facilites in lots of areas, and lots of encouragement/motivation.

But, I'm not naive enough to think that just because my education was good compared to theirs, this is the case for all independant schools. As people have said each school will have its own merits and downfalls, and that needs to be explored properly without the assumption that they wont be any good, or conversley, will be 'good'.

So just do your homework and base it on that. You clearly want what you think is the best for them and it doesnt matter if other people think you're a snob, or even if you are a snob. I dont give a rats ar*e what you decide, but if it means losing a house you love in an area you love then you NEED to investigate and not make assumptions. Good luck.

thedolly - 'am i totally deluded?'

yes

I love learning, don't give a shit where I am when I'm doing it though.

dolly, did you say you went to private school yourself (sorry if you mentioned it already)?

Oh, I forgot to mention that we are within catchement (just about) for 2 'superb' grammar schools but I am not sure I want to go down that route.

It matters to me if people think I'm a snob - I am very proud of my working class roots.

Doing your homework can only tell you so much. In the end it is a leap of faith but I just doing know what direction to leap in.

Thank you so much for all the replies - I am feeling slightly less apprehensive about moving them to the state sector (especially after what GrendlesMum said) .

The DC have never watched so much telly as they have today - I've been MNetting for hours.

foxinsocks - I am from NI and went to a 'private' grammar school. There were fees to pay but I had a scholarship of sorts (from passing the 11 plus). There was a Prep school which I did not attend - I went to the local state primary and was the only person to pass my 11 plus.

was just wondering because I think our experiences of school really affect the way we think about schools for our children

fwiw I agree with Grendel

I also think that it does children good to be mixing with all sorts , aspirations or no aspirations!

btw, head of v large comp where my children will end up said one of the most important things for the children joining in Y7 was to get in a group of children that your child felt they fitted in and was happy with. He said that grouping was also v important.

I also think a very important factor is to be inspired by a teacher.

Almost everyone I know remembers one inspirational teacher at school who shaped what they enjoyed!

You come across as a snob when you say "brave the local state schools".
What are the other children like who who be at school with your children if you stay where you are?
If your´re happy where you are, I´d be tempted to stay put, use the local schools.
What´s wrong with the grammar schools?

i'd agree with grendel too - it sounds like you have plenty of hopes and aspirations for your kids - so they'll have love and support from their mother no matter what school they end up in - far far far more important than anything else IMO! plus if they go state, you can afford tutors for subjects they find tricky - not sure how easy that would be if you have 3 at private school?

why not go and tour the schools in your area, and see which gives you the best gut instinct?

I saw your other thread and was somewhat amused, then saw this thread which referred to Saffron Walden - a town with very good schools at primary and secondary level (and if anyone wants to check on the secondary schools, look up Saffron Walden County High or Newport Free Grammar). It isn't a matter of "braving the local state schools" - they are generally oversubscribed for the reason that they are very good schools.

Sorry about the 'brave' the local state schools thing. I chose that word to go with my 'irrational fear'.

So do I move for the very good state schools or stay for the good ones?

Or stay with private in the hope of getting my dream job?

If you want the same catchment as W rd you could try looking for a house in one of the villages which bus there and get the rural feel as well? But that is the school with the longest waiting list (most middle class parents in my view, rather than better teaching but maybe that's what you're after)

Oh god, do your children watch tv? I couldnt possibly send my own children to private school then. We dont have one. I couldnt bear the thought of them sitting next to yours in class and being dragged down catching tv -itis off your kids.