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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think people who do this are selfish twats?!

158 replies

motherbeyond · 20/08/2009 13:14

take the sofa's in places like costa,when there are only one or maybe two of them?god,it annoys the hell out of me.
i come in with kids hanging off me..pram/double..buggy board..nappy bags..and mother! the only place to stick the pram is by the sofas.the only area with enough space to sit comfortably with everyone is the sofa area.but.fucking.no...there's some old bloody biddy nursing a luke warm americano.aaarrghhh.

i went into our local(coffee house..not pub!!) the other day and there was a guy sitting on one sofa(30 ish..slob-like).i had usual baggage and said "excuse me,is anyone sitting here?"

he replied " my wife is going to sit there" and looked away.

"oh,right" i said..thinking,why cant she sit on the sofa next to you and we'll have the other?! just rude.

if there's only one or two of you.sit at a table,with two chairs!

OP posts:

Sheeta · 20/08/2009 20:51

serendipity - my Dad used to make me do this as a child (10+yo)

serendippity · 20/08/2009 20:58

Sheeta- what power does a 10 year old have to hold a spot as well?!! what are theese people thinking?
To make things worse dp had to pootle around a one way bloody system before being able to get back to the car park! And I had to explain to at 3 hacked off car drivers why I had more right to the car parking space than their..er..car.

boogiewoogie · 20/08/2009 21:14

I can see where op is coming from though wouldn't have worded it as such in the title.

I'm afraid, there are no rules about who get's the best seats other than first come first serve, why should anyone else be denied it just because you have have more baggage? Of course it would have been extremely kind and chivalrous for him to offered you it but he is under no obligation to do so.

Having said that, do mners feel the same when getting on a train with at least 2 dcs in tow plus their dp/dh/dw and hope that there's a table with facing seats only to be annoyed when there's a single person hogging it?

IdontMN2makecopyforlazyjournos · 20/08/2009 21:16

This thread is so clearly going to end up in the Daily Mail......

pagwatch · 20/08/2009 21:31

serendippity thank you

A few months ago I saw the weirdest thing in my local high street.
A woman was standing in the road, being edged towards the curb by a pissed off looking man driving his car into the parking spot.
I assumed it was some kind of fight but realise that the stupid mare woman was trying to save a parking spot and expat the irate driver was refusing to play

Twas bizzare to watch and I just couldn't understand what on earth was going on. now it makes sense!

simplesusan · 20/08/2009 21:55

Haven't read all of this and I do to some extent sympathise with the op but I had the flip side of this a few years ago on a foreign holiday.
There were 10 of us in total. managed to get 2 tables and 10 chairs in hotel lounge ready for evening entertainment.
To cut a long story short my dh and friend's dh went to the bar. I took 2 of the kids to the loo, 2 more kids got up and went over to the bar to help their dads with carrying the drinks.
This left (for a very short time) my friend, my mum and one of friends children sat at the tables which did have 10 glasses on them. Anyway apparently lots of people wandered up to the table and asked if the seats were all taken. Yes my friend kept repeating over and over again. tbh as the bar was filling up if you had seen someone come over to the table and then walk away it is common sense not to then come over yourself and check if the seats are free. Anyway as we all made our way back to the tables to sit down again an irate Irish woman was walking away effing and blinding and calling my friend a "Fucking stuck up bitch" turns out she had come across and asked to sit down, was told "no these are someone's seats" to which she replied "well where are they" so friend explained where we all were to which the woman replied that she didn't believe her and thought she was hogging seats just for the fun of it!
She was still shouting when we all sat down. Needles to say when later on in the night and she was still standing throwing daggers at my friend, our kids had gone to sit by the edge of the dancefloor so my friend made a point of gesturing to a couple who had asked politely before about the seats and invited them to join us at our table. The deranged ranting bag was livid.

expatinscotland · 20/08/2009 22:19

OMG!

I did this temp job one time in a US apartment complex.

Now in the US most rental housing in the form of blocks of flats on a sort of campus owned by big corporations and run by property management companies.

So I was working in the office of one such place.

And we had a wait list for the reserved parking bays.

Well, this one gal was really pushy about getting a bay, she was on the list but there was someone else ahead of her.

So sure enough, this tenant moves out and she's in our face about getting the bay.

So we told her, 'No, sorry, look here, this tenant signed the agreement before you. You're next on the list' etc etc and she finally storms off, accusing us all of lying.

Well, the office closed at 7 so people could come in when most office work finished at 5.

And we get the tenant who got the bay coming in, saying he can't park his car there because 'some lady' was standing in it.

Sure enough, this gal had gone and stood in the bay to keep him from using it!

So my manager, a very laid back man, and this other employee go out there to try to talk some sense into her, and finally come in around 6 saying, 'Well, we're going ot have to phone the police. She's not moving and she's trespassing.'

Sure enough, the cops come. And she threw herself spread eagle on the ground in the bay!

The cops thought it was funny at first, but then it started to be a bit of a timewaster so they went to pick her up and she went ballistic!

She started attacking the cops and trying to bite.

Of course, we were all watching from the office windows!

They finally got her cuffed and stuffed but we howled with laughter about it for days!

serendippity · 20/08/2009 22:20

Ahh pagwatch, glad to have contributed to your enlightment
But At being called a stupid mare

serendippity · 20/08/2009 22:22

wow expat, that really is insanity. Though dp did threaten me with "divorce" if I didn't do the exact same thing should I encounter any lunitics drivers who wanted the space

IdontMN2makecopyforlazyjournos · 20/08/2009 22:25

As a side issue, if you really don't want someone to sit next to you on a train I find patting the seat and smiling and nodding encouragingly does wonders.

GypsyMoth · 20/08/2009 22:27

but op you have already said that you like to use up TWO sofas,so you can block off one end with your pram so that your dc can have space to walk around between the two sofas!!!!!! soooo....you are hogging 2x 3 seater sofas.....just for you!!!

yet you're moaning about other people!!???

Original poster

motherbeyond · 20/08/2009 22:31

god,would just refuse if dh suggested i stand in a space to bagsy it!! i'd tell him i'd drive and he could stand in the spec looking like a tit!

OP posts:

serendippity · 20/08/2009 22:35

Got my test on tuesday motherbeyond. I'm looking forward to being able to drive for reasons exactly like this

Sheeta · 20/08/2009 22:46

yeah serendipity it was always when we were near the space, and always on holiday, but because I was the eldest I got kicked out the car and instructed to stand in the free space!

I always thought it was fairly normal. Fucking hell, my Dad was just being an utter arsehole, wasn't he! What was I supposed to do if someone confronted me/drove towards me?

but then.... he's always been a bit of a twat.

simplesusan · 20/08/2009 22:50

Reminds me of the time when my mum and me were going into town by train.

The train was empty except for us plus my dd and a young woman. We were sat in a group of 4 facing each other with a table between us.
The woman was sat behind us in the same set up, she was wearing a suit and talking quietly into a mobile phone, looking out of the window.
The train pulls into the next station and a very loud family get on mum,dad, 2 kids.
They could have sat ANYWHERE on the train but where did they sit-surrounding the woman in the set up for 4. Obviously one of them cannot fit around the table so the dad shouts to one of his kids "Son you sit there" and points to the seat across. Why the whole family didn't sit around one table baffled me. The poor woman didn't say anything to them, even when they all stared at her as she was speaking into the phone.

My mum and I exchanged glances and both of us just burst out laughing it was like something out of Shameless.
Nobody moved until all 8 of us got off at the same station.

pagwatch · 21/08/2009 10:50

serenfipity

ah - but she was only a stupid mare because she thought she was going to win the 'woman vs pissed off man driving car and refusing to stop' encounter.

mayorquimby · 21/08/2009 11:04

"serendippity thank you

haha that happened to me in town a few months ago.
there was a space free on the side of the road with about 4 people standing in it.
i presumed they were just chatting having bumped into each other or something so pulled up past it and started to reverse in.
when one woman came up to my window and said , "sorry we're just holding this place for someone they're just around the corner", i actually didn't know such a practice existed. i just kind of looked at her in confusion and said "are you serious?" to which she replied "yes i've just phoned them they're just around the corner". and went back to her friends.
i just sat there open mouthed for a minute not knowing what to do. i almost drove off just because, sometimes you just go with what your told when your taken by suprise and aren't sure of the etiquette in a certain situation. and then i just thought, wtf are you doing, it's stephens green at 5 o'clock there's no spaces effing anywhere, why are you listening to them. and started reversing into the space slowly, just inching and waiting for them to move.
the names they called me for that one.

MarshaBrady · 21/08/2009 11:06

lol at all these people being slowly edged out of saving a space.

serendippity · 21/08/2009 11:07

I am amazed how many of us are forced to do this! Are our nearest and dearest trying to get us bumped off at the hands of several peed off drivers?!

expatinscotland · 21/08/2009 11:09

'Saving' space on a public road. Yeah. The cops would have loved that one!

violethill · 21/08/2009 11:14

4 people standing there 'saving' a parking space?! Good grief, have these people got nothing to do with their lives?!

My theory is that it all boils down to a fundamental lack of confidence. I mean, what are they afraid of, that they might have to park a bit further away and walk? Reminds me of when my kids were at primary school, and one mother on the school run used to arrive literally about 30 minutes before end of school time so that she could park slap bang outside the school gate, and she'd then sit reading a magazine til end of school time! I guess at least she was turning up herself, rather than getting some one to 'stand in' for her!

We also used to live in a street with on-street parking, and there was this couple a few doors along who used to put parking cones out to try to save what they obviously thought was 'their' spot!! We used to giggle when other people kicked them away to park!

It's just so strange though really. Do these people genuinely believe they have a superior entitlement? Or are they just shitting their pants that the world might end if they don't get the best parking space, or the best seat for the show?

Weird.

mayorquimby · 21/08/2009 11:16

"We also used to live in a street with on-street parking, and there was this couple a few doors along who used to put parking cones out to try to save what they obviously thought was 'their' spot!! We used to giggle when other people kicked them away to park!
"

there is nothing more guarenteed to make me park somewhere than that.

expatinscotland · 21/08/2009 11:21

Some people used to do that in the ILs street, the cones.

DH and his mates had much fun nicking them. His mate Sean had a stack of them in his room.

Original poster

motherbeyond · 21/08/2009 13:45

mayorquimby just pmsl at the thought of you reversing into the space whilst edging 4 people out! that's a big pair of cahoonas you've got there!how old were the people by the way..young student types,or old enough to know better?

expat we had many, many cones in our living room as students.hope your dh and pals run off with them on their heads? it's obligatory you know!

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 21/08/2009 14:21

he found many uses for these cones. he and DH and the mates would fill them with wet sand and put them in that neighbours' wheelie bin. or use them to direct these neighbours to where they'd hidden their garden gnomes (off the trail on a disused railway line), etc.

eventually they took the hint.

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