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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think people who do this are selfish twats?!

158 replies

motherbeyond · 20/08/2009 13:14

take the sofa's in places like costa,when there are only one or maybe two of them?god,it annoys the hell out of me.
i come in with kids hanging off me..pram/double..buggy board..nappy bags..and mother! the only place to stick the pram is by the sofas.the only area with enough space to sit comfortably with everyone is the sofa area.but.fucking.no...there's some old bloody biddy nursing a luke warm americano.aaarrghhh.

i went into our local(coffee house..not pub!!) the other day and there was a guy sitting on one sofa(30 ish..slob-like).i had usual baggage and said "excuse me,is anyone sitting here?"

he replied " my wife is going to sit there" and looked away.

"oh,right" i said..thinking,why cant she sit on the sofa next to you and we'll have the other?! just rude.

if there's only one or two of you.sit at a table,with two chairs!

OP posts:
DailyMailCanLickMyBalls · 20/08/2009 13:57

YABU unreasonable as a general point regarding priority over sofas, but YANBU about this particular scenario with the man keeping the second sofa for his wife. You should have said, "well if your wife's having that sofa, I'll just have to squeeze in next to you then", and dumped yourself beside him, with kids and buggies flying. He would have pretty quickly realised that he and his wife probably didn't need two settees to themselves.

Callisto · 20/08/2009 14:06

You're being horribly unreasonable and sound very selfish - just the sort of mother and children combo I try to avoid at all costs. (and I wouldn't give up the sofa for you either).

sayanything · 20/08/2009 14:06

"God YANBU, I feel your pain: the coffee shop I go to has only ONE set of comfy chairs/sofa and absolutely no one ever sits in them except this set of up-themselves, self-congratulating twats who are always shrieking and over-reacting to the smallest thing.

They behave as if that bit of seating belongs to them. One of them even works there FFS, she spends so much time with her mates she ought to get the bloody sack but it's as if the manager is in love with her or something."

Hmmmm Baloonslayer, that's quite the idea for a sitcom no? Shame it's already been done

JonAndHate · 20/08/2009 14:07

Maybe you should open your own busy-mother-with-lots-of-kids friendly coffee shop?

Seating arrangements could be as follows:
50% play pens 25% sofas and 25% regular chairs

JonAndHate · 20/08/2009 14:07

Oh and a buggy/pram park of course.

IsItMeOr · 20/08/2009 14:08

Sorry motherbeyond - was using that as a for instance not suggesting you would necessarily let yours do that. Some do though.

moffat · 20/08/2009 14:10

YABVU - apart from the issue of where to park the pram I don't see why you and dcs can't sit at a table.

serendippity · 20/08/2009 14:10

YABU! I love, love, love those sofas all to myself. I have paid for my coffee and have a right to sit wherever the hell i want
BUT I would move if someone seemed to need the space more and there was nowhere for them.

OtterInaSkoda · 20/08/2009 14:11

I'd probably offer up my sofa if someone came in who clearly had more need of it than me, but I still think YABU. Having said that I get peed off at self-service places when people several places behind me in the queue get their DPs to baggsy tables so I get left standing like a lemon with a tray of food/drinks and nowhere to sit though. It's easy enough now that ds is old enough to leave at a baggsied table while I get the goodies in, though.

As an aside I am fully convinced that the smoking ban is a Good Thing but I rather miss smokey cafes and pubs - the ones people didn't take their kids to because they prefered to take them places with healthier atmospheres. My dc (and the OP's I'd imagine) is delightful but there are bugger all child-free havens these days. Other than nightclubs and they're not generally open when I fancy a coffee and a sit down mid-afternoon. Or AllBarOne, which is horrible and chainy...

violethill · 20/08/2009 14:17

Just as an aside,Otter - there's a really simple solution to those self-service places where some people queue jump and bag a table while another member of their group queues up.

Simply wait until you've gone through the till, stand and look around for a table, then turn back to the staff and say VERY loudly 'Excuse me, you've sold me a meal to eat in your premises - can you now provide me with somewhere to eat it?'

Works every time - they will move people who aren't yet eating if necessary, which hopefully might embarrass them into not queue jumping next time. If you pay to eat in, you're paying not just for the food but for the table to sit at.

bethoo · 20/08/2009 14:18

i wonder what people think when i block the tables with my double buggy cos there is no corner for me to sit! of course then i would be unreasonable but then it is first come first served isnt it?

GypsyMoth · 20/08/2009 14:23

violethill.....what if they do takeout? still stand does it? god,might try that

violethill · 20/08/2009 14:28

Idon'tread... often for places that do both eat-in and take-out, there's a different tariff - you pay slightly more for eat-in.

Basically, anywhere that is advertising itself as a cafe is selling you something to consume on the premises. If the staff have allowed people who haven't yet paid for something to take up seating while people who have paid are unable to sit, then IME they won't hesitate to turf out the queue jumpers. The trick is to turn it into the staff's problem, rather than try to confront the queue jumpers, because frankly, if they're selfish enough to do that in the first place, they aren't going to understand logic are they?!

WidowWadman · 20/08/2009 14:31

Maybe you should buy a towel and hang it over the sofa when you're not in the coffee shop as a sign that this sofa is reserved for you.

JonAndHateTheDailyMail · 20/08/2009 14:36

WW

gagamama · 20/08/2009 14:53

If it's such a bloody ordeal for you or doesn't meet your requirements then don't go in there. It's definitely not the other customers' problem. YABVU!

NicknameTaken · 20/08/2009 15:02

If I'm out with the buggy, I take a look into the coffee shop to see if there's a reasonable place to sit before going in. It would never occur to me that someone should vacate the comfy sofas for my benefit!

Podrick · 20/08/2009 15:17

Sorry but you seem to have a very bizarre sense of entitlement. Are there lots of other situations where you expect preferential treatment but you don't get it?

jybay · 20/08/2009 15:28

I also don't see the big deal with people in groups getting someone to bag the table. It's just one of life's petty annoyances. I wouldn't dream of getting the management to chuck them out. Bloody hell, these are leisure activities we are talking about! Live and let live ffs.

I usually go to cafes by myself but, if I were in a group and some officious busybody tried to get me thrown out just because I didn't have coffee in front of me at that very moment, I would TTFO in no uncertain terms.

I hope that the posters who boast of getting people chucked out for the monstrous offence of bagging a table have never taken their kids, even babies, into a cafe without buying them something. If you have, you are complete hypocrites. An adult bagging a table may be a non-paying customer for a couple of minutes but a baby takes up a lot of room and is not a customer at all.

GivePeasAChance · 20/08/2009 15:38

I don't like the way you said "old bloody biddy".

It shows an ignorance and prejudice towards old people. You are not far off yourself, so be careful !

GodzillasBumcheek · 20/08/2009 15:44

What on earth would you voluntarily go into a coffee shop alone for with loads of small kids? I'd rather sit on a bench outside and let them run riot on the grass if were me (frequently do in fact, although i only have one littley and two twelveteens).

Perhaps you should calm down dear.

violethill · 20/08/2009 15:51

jybay - of course it's not life and death!! But why on earth would anyone bag tables before they;ve paid for something when there are people ahead of them in the queue?! Nothing officious or busy-bodyish about it at all - I just want somewhere to sit if I've bought a meal or drink!

Of course I wouldn't expect people to be thrown out if there is still enough space for me to sit down! But I've seen situations in busy self service places where people who have bought their meal are having to wander up and down the aisles in a heaving cafe,meal and drink getting cold, desperately searching for a table with enough spaces, while other people have queue jumped and are sat there twiddling their thumbs.

End of the day it's all about common courtesy. Some people just seem to be born with this sense of entitlement - that it's too much trouble to queue etc.

violethill · 20/08/2009 15:56

'if I were in a group and some officious busybody tried to get me thrown out just because I didn't have coffee in front of me at that very moment, I would TTFO in no uncertain terms.'

  • I assume this means 'tell them to fuck off'. I think if you do you that to a member of staff, you'll definitely be kicked out love
NorksNappiesAndNowtElse · 20/08/2009 16:04

Seriously - a couple of you go into a coffee shop and you all queue for coffee??

OP is BU. If seats are taken, they are taken - deal with it.

random · 20/08/2009 16:05

I work in a coffee shop ..the fights for the comfy chairs amuse me no end The old uns are the worse baggsing the chairs for all their mates