aaaargh MIL!

[StealthBearWipesBumOnDailyMail]

She's lovely but does have an attitude of "It will be fine, why are you worrying". She's invited us to a family party 12 days after my due date. I said we'd love to come but wanted to know if it was in a restaurant as so near due date (restaurants harder to get out of etc). Her reply "Oh I'm sure the baby will have come by then"
Well it might, it also might not. There's also a chance that depending on the birth I might be in hospital / not up to visiting / lying on the sofa with bleeding nipples. But the attitude is "it will be fine, stop worrying". Aaaargh
AIBU?

Yes. It'll be fine

ARGH!! YANBU, of course.

DS was born 10 days after my due date. Didn't get out of hospital until the next day.

she's mad!!

oi BOF

It isn't in a restaurant btw so it is fine - it's just the attitude.
Have to admit I replied with "well a couple of my friends have gone 2 weeks overdue so it does happen, plus depending on the birth I might be in no fit state." DH's cousin is also expecting a baby at the same time and will be going - I really hope they are both here and everything is fine by then.

I think your MIL has a point.

Now I was a complete wreck after having DCs and was in no fit state to leave the house. However, I do know women who did a supermarket shop the day they gave birth, mowed the lawn 2 days after birth etc.

Some women are on a complete high weeks after giving birth. You might be one of them

If not - just cancel.

well I was last time - was out and about the next day. But she will be so surprised and disappointed if we're not, and won't understand that actually it's not always like that.

I was at the supermarket the same day last time, and I am probably one of those irritating optimistic types- shame I have no sons and won't get to be a MIL from hell

I should point out I wasn't doing a weekly shop though - it was just for a bottle of champagne and an excuse to show the baby off. Looking back, I was probably completely high on hormones- it doesn't seem quite rational now!

Knowing my luck the baby's cousin will be there being cooed over and I will be the failure on the sofa trying to feed and recover from the birth
Hoping for the same as last time - that would make the baby 8 days old, DS went to a wedding at 2 days older so it can be done!

lol at weekly shop!

YANBU, even if you are ok to go, it would be good that you can enjoy feeling like you have made it rather than it being expected iyswim.

The parental/PIL magic skills of being able to see in to the future and know you will have had your baby must be a skill we all gain in later life.

Fwiw, I would have been in labour 12 days after my due date!

to be honest it dosnt matter what you tell her . Wether you will be there or wont . The baby comes when it wants so not your choice .

For some reason this OP had made me even more crosss about everything than I already am!!!

No, Y A NOT B U.

Stealth, seriously? Wow... I was one of those people who could barely make it off the sofa for about 2 weeks after the birth. Wedding with a 10 day old baby? Impressive!

how insistent is she? cant you just be like we will see how it goes? and if you're up to it you go, if not then don't? then not really a big deal...

well she's replied to my last text with "no pressure, just whatever you're comfortable with"
so she is lovely and I am a wicked DIL

Sheeta - we only went for the ceremony, and the bit after but before the meal (canapes and champagne ). It was only an hour away and yet we stopped on the way back to break up the journey! And I do remember getting organised for it was very stressful! Was worth it though - it was DH's cousin, the one who is now due on the same day as me

champagne good one

My MIL booked a holiday for just over 3 weeks after my due date. Her reasoning was that I would have had the baby at least two weeks before the due date - as she herself had always done. When I went 13 days overdue, spent 2 days in labour and then 5 days in hospital after em-cs, all she could talk about was that she needed to see and cuddle the baby as much as she could as she was going to be "missing out" (on her 3 week luxury holiday... Now, I don't expect her to fit in her holidays around me, or not to feel sad at missing out, but it was the attitude that I would just fit in with her plans, and her obvious irritation when I didn't that REALLY annoyed me.

YANBU at all.

Jem my ILs did the same thing - booked their holiday for three weeks after due date.

When DH called FIL and basically told him that we were all in a complete state, that we really couldn't cope (my mum was ill with a serious infection and should really have been in hospital) and that we would really have appreciated them being around to help out, he airily said that they expected the baby to be born on the due date.

What idiots expect babies to be born on their due dates??!

My PIL invited us to a family party 10 days after my due date. Fortunately for us ds made his appearance 2 weeks early. If we had not attended there would have been SERIOUS hell to pay.

I am a bit shocked at your MIL, usually older ladies are a bit disapproving about new babies being exposed to all and sundry (ime). In their day (so I'm told) you wouldn't leave the house for the first few weeks and be very strict about visitors (because of the risk of infection).

Your baby will come when he/she is ready. Whether you feel ready to go to parties shortly after giving birth will have to be your choice at the time. You never know, you could be absolutely raring to go out partying with a newborn!