To NOT want to leave my PFB in a creche at a wedding?

[girlafraid]

Friends without children are getting married next month, they don't want kids there and are providing a creche at the venue for those who can't find babysitters (we can't)

All very good and sensible of them EXCEPT.... I don't want to leave DS in a creche where I don't know the qualifications of the staff or how many children and babies they will be looking after - am I being dreadfully U or can you see my point???

[Heated]

The B&G will be counting you amongst the numbers per head and they will think they've come up with a really thoughtful compromise. You are being a bit pfb but so will they be when it's their turn.

I would say yes, stay for the meal unless it's at an unfeasibly late hour. Do you know roughly what time the meal is? Essentially one of you can be with your pfb at all times, including the service, (sit towards the back so can slip out if dc gets noisy) except for an hour and a half max for the meal. No one is going to notice if you're there post meal.

[wrongsideof40]

I agree with youngvisitor - we had a creche at our wedding - but it was for people to use if they wanted - we had our own 10 month old there for some of the time - it was really for use during the meal but there was no problem when a baby didn't settle and came through. Although I did expect guests to be considerate and take crying babies for a walk at crucial stages eg vows/speeches !!

[piscesmoon]

I always argue that DCs should be at weddings-partly because it is very, very difficult to arrange day cover at home. In this case the bride has at least been thoughtful in arranging cover. I don't know why OP even needs to post-she has 4 choices.

1. Don't go.
2. Leave DS at home with a sitter.
3. Use the creche
4. Use the creche but expect to have one or other parent in the creche most of the time.

I don't think it fair to go and not use the creche.

[bigTillyMint]

YABU - what a great chance to have a grown-up time, knowing your PFB is safe nearby!

FWIW, we got married when our PFB was 9 mths and we weren'tthoughtful enough to organise a creche . She watched the ceremony happily (and silently!) with Grandma, slept all thru the meal under the table in her car seat, then slept thru the first part of the "disco" in the carseat in an interconnecting room before being taken up to bed by Nanny!

[hatwoman]

I don't think, in this case, the creche is there to help parents get a break/to keep noisy children away during speeches/when they'll be bored - the OP says the bride and groom don't want the kids at the wedding - the creche is there for people who can't find babysitters - so I don;t think op can have PFB at the service and during other times. but piscesmoon has a good suggestion - why not treat the creche as a room, separate from the wedding where you and dh can take turns to look after pfb? (and if you do feel happy with the staff you might feel inclined to leave pfb entirely for some short stints).

[Blondeshavemorefun]

2anddone - thats is how the agencys i work for work iyswim

other thing girlafriad - i assumed the invites were sent out a while ago and you confirmed yes to going - with a month to go to the wedding it is very likely that the bride and groom have already paid for your meal and most meals are likely to be £50pp so she is prob a bit annoyed to have wasted £100 on you and your dh

tbh i really dont understand people who say they cant find babysitters - esp when you have had lots of notice

yes you may not know someone, but you can ring up a professional agency/look on netmums/nj etc and find someone and arrange to meet them before hand so that you and your dc can meet them

i am meeting a lady on friday who saw my ad on netmums and obv if we like each other she will book me - got a child free wedding in october to go to

[specialmagiclady]

why not treat the creche as a room, separate from the wedding where you and dh can take turns to look after pfb?

Exactly! It's not a "childcare setting" in the way that a day nursery is, or a Childminder. It's a space for the children and babies of friends of the B&G. With people in it. The People won't be remotely upset if you elect not to leave your baby there, but use it as playgroup instead.