to want the inlaws to stay in a hotel?

[usernametaken]

DC2 will be born in a few weeks time. The MIL and FIL have planned a visit to us. When they visit DC2 will be somewhere between 2 and 4 weeks old, depending on how late he/she is.

We live in a 2 bedroom house. DH will sleep on the camp bed in DD's room and I will sleep downstairs on the sofa with DC2 in the cot whilst MIL and FIL have our bedroom with ensuite.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking that they might want to offer to stay in a hotel? After DD was born I suffered very badly with stitches and a fractured cocyx, whilst DD had severe problems with feeding.

They are staying with us for 5 nights. I can handle 1 or 2 nights of them staying in our house, but 5 nights with a tiny newborn seems too much. They are flying down to see us so will need to be ferried around by car...they don't like driving 'down south'. We are more than happy to take them around but it is the sleeping arrangements that worry me.

I also wouldn't mind if they could help out a bit but they class any visit to us as a holiday so even making a cup of tea themselves is not on their agenda.

What would you do?

hotel or your mum's house NOT the sofa or a camp bed in your crowded house.

messalina - if you're still around, I do hope you remember that post when you're 80 and your children say "we don't have time to pander to old people the whole time."

I suspect she will. It's always very simplistic of people to say when you're an x (MIL, old person, mother etc) you won't feel like that. Some old people , like some MILs, mothers etc get on well with their family and friends and don't make excessive demands on them or demand to come first.
If I become an MIL I won't be demanding visits, regular visiting or to be seeing my grandchild the instant it's here. That's not my personality now so I don't see it changing when I'm an MIL. When I'm old I won't expect my childrens lives to revolve around me just because my life has become more restricted and less interesting. I would never want anyone to give up their bed for me. I don't think we change our underlying personalities that much as we age. Stroppy negative people remain stroppy negative people, enthusiastic outgoing people likewise. Most of the inlaws and parents mentioned here don't sound that old, although I get the impression many of them behave as though they are older and more incapable than they are.

I shall be so drunk on gin, I probably won't remember. Sorry.

messallina, it saddens me that you have such negative view on "our generation" and our ability, or lack of so, to feel any compassion or sense of what is right. You are right in one aspect though, it is a wider debate, one of ignorance, immaturity and youth.

Oh get over yourself, QS, if you can't make flippant comments on Mumsnet, where can you? I know lots of very pleasant old folk and I'm sure I'll be happy to empty out the odd commode when my in-laws are in their twilight years.

lol - you just proved what I just said!

Sorry, what did you just say? Must go and get my glasses.

(is that gin glasses, messilina?)

anyway, back to topic....

YANBU: with a new born baby, you'll be experiencing lots of emotional and physical upsets/discomforts etc and you NEED your own bed so you can be as comfortable as possible.

I know it's not an illness, but you are putting your body through something huge! (or something huge putting through your body... ? )

Your inlaws HAVE to understand that!

I would say it was unreasonable of them even if you had a spare room: when the baby id that new, they need to visit a couple of hours a day max.
my own parents always stay in a hotel anyway (my mum hates staying in someone else's house) and my (now ex-)in laws usually stay(ed) over in our spare room, but they always help with cleaning and cooking and shopping and everything they can in order not to be a hassle to us.

if the baby was a few months old and you had a spare room, then fine for them to stay in the house, but in your situation with the age of the baby and TOTAL LACK OF ROOM! they should be staying elsewhere every time.
AND helping with the housewrok and shopping.

housework