To think that this article could have done without the breastfeeding comment??

[mosschops30]

here

I am hoping to go to the new unit here, there are always issues surrounding this at the hospital, a good friend was asked by a MW there why she had 'poisoned' her baby when she said she had given formula at the end of her tether. Other people have seen women bullied into breastfeeding without any real support.
I had a bad post-birth experience, but was lucky enough to have a fabulously laid back healthcare assistant, I wouldnt have even managed the two weeks breastfeeding without her.

Am I being a bit touchy, or could this article have done without the 'she's breastfeeding and thats what we encourage' comment? Just to me it sounds a bit like, this mum is wonderful and if you dont manage it we wont be pleased

I think that breastfed babies are more intelligent. The brain cells of the breastfeeding mother are passed through the breastmilk to the baby. At the moment I am feeling very dim. It seems unbelivable that I ever did a responsible and intelligent job prior to having children. (I am exclusively breastfeeding a 17 week old baby who is having a growth spurt)

Prehaps some posters on this thread have completely lost the plot. A mother is more than just a pair of breasts. Just like the baby she needs to be nutured and cared for.

When breastfeeding goes well it can be magical and a lovely experience. I feel sad for mothers who do not have a nice experience like mine. I think the mother has missed out more than the baby.

Infact I think that health visitors should get rid of baby weighing well baby clinics and prehaps have well mother clinics. Many mothers have problems like incontinance, depression, ongoing problems with tears (from childbirth), problems with joints, hormonal problems etc. etc) When the mother is well then the baby generally does fine.

I bet that my son's primary school teacher would not manage to guess which children in her class were breastfeed or bottlefeed. However I am confident she could pick out which children have good parents and which children have bad parents.

Saphire I have to say I don't agree with your claim that there is no guilt without justification. Most mums these days feel guilty about pretty much anything, whether its leaving cbeebies on for a tad too long while they do the ironing or not having little one in bed on time.At the end of the day we all know that breastmilk is best for our babies but if there was anything wrong or harmful with formula milk it wouldn't be on our shelves. My ds is on solids now and eats a balanced and nutricious diet,he has reached all of his developmental milestones, and has not had a cold or infection as of yet. My husband was formula fed and is healthier than me with a higher IQ (although, not by much!) so I think that as long as a child who is formula fed is fed a diet enriched with vitamins and minerals when moved on to solids they have as much chance of a healthy life as their breastfed counterparts. I may decide to bf my next child, but at least I was able to have my dh do 50% of the feeding during the early days while I caught up on rest and had a glass of wine and reading what I've just put, I don't feel guilty at all now!

So reallytired - telling us bottlefeeding mums that we are missing out on the 'emotional' element of breastfeeding - that's going to help is it?

With comments like that it's no wonder mum's who struggle to breastfeed feel 'jealous' of those that do.

We already know we are missing out on an experience by not being able to breastfeed - that does not mean we have different emotions from bf mums or any less of a bond with our babies.

I think one big problem is how we have elevated motherhood and its components to be this magical mystical thing. We need to dehype and demystify the whole thing, we need to get away from the mother images of saints and sinners, the supposed need for perfection and the ensuing guilt. I don't think even our own mothers were subject to these ridiculous notions.
Women have babies, its nothing magical. Why can't we just get on with it, to do what we need to do as individuals to raise our children to be functioning members of society? We need a backlash against the ridiculous standards that we have put on ourselves, our kids have to be the smartest, the best educated, the best fed, the tallest, the most athletic, the high acheivers etc etc ad nauseum. We compete to feed them the best organic, no mc'ds and fruitshoots (bad mother alert!), avoid this list, then that one, then something else, to prevent allergies and promote perfect health. Limit tv, or no tv, and take them to gym babies and music makers and toddler art and makaton and fecking baby Japanese....And most of all I think we need to get rid of the idea that we need to be taught how to do everything with our babies, that its all too hard and we are incapable of listening to our instincts and doing things for ourselves. That doesn't mean there shouldn't be help available when needed, but it shouldn't be assumed we all need it for everything.

Does no-one else feel like saying SHUT UP to the baby whisperers and the gurus and the constant barrage of media reports about how we are all doing it wrong and need to do xyz instead, closely followed by another expert to tell us that xyz will poison them and we should do the opposite? Does no-one else think that if you've managed to get all of your children to the end of each day with all their limbs still attached, warm, fed and vaguely happy then you are doing something right and the rest will work itself out?

I don't know, maybe I'm a poster child for lazy ass parenting, but I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of being told what I'm doing wrong and I'm sick of the constant judgeyness all around (you only have to glance at AIBU to see the judging of each other we seem to revel in) and I'm sick of the debates on whats best and whats new and whats perfect for todays baby. I'm not going to listen to another word.
Now I'm off to put on Cartoonito and feed the children some inappropriate breakfast cereal...

But nobody is telling you that you 'have' to do things one way or another.

Smart mums take what they need from the public debate, use the information they pick up to help them make better lives for themselves and their children, if they can, and otherwise muddle along doing the best they can.

Maybe it's me being quite old, but I look at my parents (in their 80's now) and hear stories about their childhoods, and think - thank god the world has changed. Thank goodness for all the research into children's development. We're much kinder to children as a society these days - mostly because of knowing so much more about what babies and children need to grow up happy and healthy. How can you resent this?