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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get really irritated with DD (4)'s mates when they come round to play?

46 replies

fruitbowl · 12/08/2009 14:05

They right get on my nerves. I feel a horrible witch but my instinct is to discipline them and keep them in check. I would far rather be really fun and patient and play lots of quality games with them but they just get on my nerves!! Anyone else find this or am I a lonesome old hag?

OP posts:
CybilLiberty · 12/08/2009 14:06

Can't they just play by themselves?

themoon66 · 12/08/2009 14:09

I'd just leave them to get on with amusing themselves.

Original poster
fruitbowl · 12/08/2009 14:18

Thanks. Yes, that would be nice! My main gripe is that one of the two we have round is terrified of our dog and screams as loud as I've ever heard and cries every time she sees him. It's quite impractical to shut the dog away so it's getting stressful for everyone. The friend just screamed so loud that my husband heard it from his shed which is quite a way away and I'm afraid I shouted at her to stop screaming. So that's really why I'm feeling guilty and irritated! We've made up now.

But it's a shame I find the constant bickering really draining and I've lost the will to think of exciting diversionary tactics (sad and knackered icon).

I've just left them to their own devices in the garden while I type this so we'll see what happens...

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 12/08/2009 14:24

I learned very early on to invite only one little friend at a time. It really does make a difference. And let them play in dd's bedroom or in the garden. And leave them to it.

Maybe just don't invite the one who is terrified of the dog?

3littlefrogs · 12/08/2009 14:25

You can tell I am old and jaded, and no longer have the energy to make much effort

pointydog · 12/08/2009 14:28

It's hard not to beceom irritated with a bunch of 4 yr olds in your house. YANBU.

Try to keep them in the garden, if they get too argumentative or huffy or whatever, send them home.

CybilLiberty · 12/08/2009 14:29

Yes one friend at a time or you end up playing with the odd one out.

I don't invite my kids friends over so I can play with them , I invite them so I can get some peace.

chickydee · 12/08/2009 14:29

Gawd, wait til their 12 and having sleepovers, nightmare.
My dd (12) has hada few sleepovers that have gone tits up cos of some spoilt, nasty bitch, and i have lost my rag with them,and threatened to send them home!!
So, the bickering and screaming gets worse, not better!!
Start now with good habits, like shutting yourself away and not letting them get to you!

CybilLiberty · 12/08/2009 14:29

One soon learns which friends are high maintenance and which friends can be left to play with dc. The HM ones don't come back.

Original poster
fruitbowl · 12/08/2009 14:35

Thanks girls. I don't feel so bad about being a bitter impatient cow

I too thought inviting friends over would give me a bit of peace. never seems to work out like that though!

I just don't think I'm very patient with kids. Hey ho.

Oops better go, more screaming...

OP posts:
bubblagirl · 12/08/2009 14:44

i would personally if only for short while keep the dog away if she is afraid of dogs if your dd was afraid of something you would expect the parent of who she was with to respect that

then leave them to play by themselves

Original poster
fruitbowl · 12/08/2009 14:47

Yes, I agree and we did shut him away while we had lunch. I felt v bad about raising my voice as I imagined how I would feel if my DD told me one of her friends mums shouted at her. Now I think I'm gonna have to explain to this girl's mum what happened - eek!

OP posts:
Crablass · 12/08/2009 14:54

Maybe the other mum won't let her come back again and you won't have to put up with the screaming?

Sorry but I think I'd be irritated and probably shout too. Or at least "Oh for PETES sake, you KNOW he's not going to hurt you!"

I'm a bad bad person.

junglist1 · 12/08/2009 16:33

The screeching about the dog is all for drama. If a child was that terrified they wouldn't come in in the first place. The mum or dad will have to tell the child screeching for nothing won't be tolerated. And yes I'm mean but it's the summer hols so I don't care.

MovingOutOfBlighty · 12/08/2009 16:37

Depends on what the dog was doing jung. My dd is fine with dogs around, but will scream if they jump around her.

And all kids are irritating. I send my dds friends upstairs and let them cause havoc.

Crablass · 12/08/2009 16:38

Duct tape.

MoonIsATiredSlayer · 12/08/2009 16:40

YANBU my DS has a friend who is rude, whiney, charmless and has never been brought up to display good manners and I can't stand them coming round. He has another friend who is delighful and when they are over I know I can relax. I do tend to tell off the rude ones as it makes me really cross.

The dog thing is different IMO, my DS is TERRIFIED of any dog whatever size etc. and would panic if one was in the house. he has wet himself before when a dog sat under the table at a friends house

poopscoop · 12/08/2009 16:43

3 kids of the same age to play doesn't work. There is always a whinger who has been left out. One friend at a time or a whole load of even numbers. Feed them what they want, let them all run riot, swallow headache pills by the handful, but once you shut the door you have done your whole summer hols worth in one hit. Can't be bad

preciouslillywhite · 12/08/2009 16:48

we've got two dogs who are very (too?) friendly, but I've found the only thing to do when any kids come over is to barricade myself in the kitchen with em till the last kid leaves! When I was a kid just about everyone had a dog and you were expected to just put up with them, however big/ barky/ lively- now I find that the whole dog issue is so fraught and SO many kids/adults are scared of them that you just have to keep them out of the way.

MovingOutOfBlighty · 12/08/2009 16:49

Agree, never, ever have 3 friends over. 2 - fine, 4 - ok. But three is a whingefest of the highest order. And add a dog into the mix - aargh!

poopscoop · 12/08/2009 16:51

agree about the dog problem. i keep mine away as i cannot be bothered to keep listening to the screams and the flinching that goes on, it is enough to make a dog nervous, then what would that lead to.

OrmIrian · 12/08/2009 16:54

I am the same at that age. They can't seem to do anything without adult input and I've got used to children who can do stuff and deal with things themselves.

"Joe's mummy! X took the ball away from me...." Look I don't care OK?

Or "but I don't like brocolli..." Well don't eat it then!

I just grit my teeth and smile and pray for them to go away.

12 and 10 yr olds are a doddle in comparison. In fact they are often good company.

poopscoop · 12/08/2009 16:57

oh yes now 2 of mine have reached their teens and they ask if their mates can come over, I welcome it. They do their own thing. Eat anything and everything, you hardly even know they are their.

I remember the 'x is not shaaaring'
and 'x won't let me have a go'
'x keeps being naaaasty'

x is usually my child

sincitylover · 12/08/2009 16:58

I have been very irritated this week by one of ds2s friends.

I'm afraid I have been quite cross with him on several occasions and also told him not to give me backchat.

In fact I even took to keeping lounge curtains closed this morning so he would think we were out. His mum has now taken them both out.

Yesterday he was squirting water on my clean washing. Just generally challenges me on everything I say.

poopscoop · 12/08/2009 16:58

they are there

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