in objecting to hearing my neighbours shagging in their dining room

[Honeymum]

We often hear our neighbours having sex. It's horrible - they both make so much noise it's like a porn film audition. We don't get on, at all (long story) and we find them generally quite inconsiderate noise wise. Their doors and windows are always wide open, all weathers, and we can hear everything - pots and pans clattering, singing (him, loudly and badly), loud music. And she smokes skunk in the garden of an afternoon....Relations between us all are strained to say the least but there have been no rows since a dispute last summer...
On Friday they got back from the pub at 7.15 pm(I think), closed the curtains in the dining room adjacent to our back door (tis a terraced house - we are v close together at the back with kitchen windows facing across a small divided yard) and proceeded to shag loudly. We were in the garden - though not our kids thankfully. AIBU to think that this is not on??

[hippipotamiHasLost55lbs]

A few weeks ago I overheard our neighbour spanking his wife. 'Twas horrible.... I was sitting on the patio and their bedbroom is at the back of their house. I could hear every 'twack' of the ...wip(?)... and every 'ouch', 'aw', 'ah' sound....
Am still in therapy now....

[Crablass]

Last night we were in the garden and very clearly heard from next door...

Slap Ohhh you're a bad girl, what are you?
"Ooooh I'm a baaad girl!"

They're both in their 80's. Fair play to them but BOAAAAK!!!

[Crablass]

hippipotamiHasLost55lbs you dont live the other side of my neighbors do you?

[hippipotamiHasLost55lbs]

OMG Crab - in their 80's?? Wow!! I thought my neighbours were pushing it in their fifties....
But eighties, that is something else [well done to them but sorry you had to overhear emoticon]

[hippipotamiHasLost55lbs]

x posted crab

[Crablass]

Least it gives me hope for my old age! If I'm still sexing in my 80s I'll be overjoyed!

[Tidey]

In the hotel we stayed in in Greece a few years ago, our neighbours were getting up to things presumably involving toys, out on their balcony. DP could hear a buzzing noise, followed by a man saying 'Shall I take it out now?'.

[EyeballsintheSky]

Sorry deaddei, I'm sure it was awful for you but I've just inhaled my diet coke through my nose

[TheScatterGunApproach]

I am laughing so hard at this whole thread my daughter is looking worried!

[hippipotamiHasLost55lbs]

'Shall I take it out now'???? He has to ask? Can he not look at his wife adn see if she has been pleasured? He needs lessons from Crablass's neighbours!

[deaddei]

Eyeballs.....I hope there was a Bacardi in there too. It is week 3 of the hols!

[OrmIrian]

"Shall I take it out now?" Are you sure it wasn't an electric egg whisk?

[Crablass]

Maybe it wasn't in HER.....

[hippipotamiHasLost55lbs]

Oooh, in him? Then ovbiously it was not doing it's job if he had to ask when to remove it... [mind boggles]

But yes, could be he was whisking eggs

[Lilybunny]

[Tidey]

Snort Well, no, I'm not absolutely sure, I didn't go out onto the balcony for a look for anything. I was very tempted to make a loud popping noise though

[hippipotamiHasLost55lbs]

it's? or its? Gah!

[hippipotamiHasLost55lbs]

Oh Tidey - where is your sense of nosiness??

[GetOrfMoiLand]

PMSL

You don't realise how much noise actually escapes the house when the windows are open. I was once in the garden and heard DD let off a huge fart whilst she was in her bedroom. I laughed my socks of, she was so annoyed with me.

Lol at 'maybe it wasn't in her'.

[asdx2]

We have an incredibly ugly and dirty neighbour who is obviously hiding his light under a bushel judging by the noises the never ending queue of nubile teens (of age I hastily add) make at his performance (he's pushing 50) The sex noise is bad enough but why does he have to "talk dirty" so loudly.

[BitOfFun]

Eeeeeeeeew!

Go on, give us some examples though

[LaurieFairyCake]

What you have to do is pretend that your 8 year old was just in the garden and is inside and loudly answer as if she asked a question.

"They are having sex darling, I will come in and explain what that is in a minute".

That'll shut them up - and you haven't done anything 'wrong' by answering your non-existant 8 year olds question.

[FedUpWithRainyDevon]

PMSL at the funniest thread I've read for ages!

[HerHonesty]

oh this is funny......i love the can i take it out now....

[HerHonesty]

reminds me of a couple we used to live underneath. they had sex ALOT not very loudly but for ages, i mean hours stop starting it was quite phenomenal. DH wanted to give the man a medal.