Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

1 2 3 4

AIBU?

in objecting to hearing my neighbours shagging in their dining room

85 replies

Honeymum · 09/08/2009 23:30

We often hear our neighbours having sex. It's horrible - they both make so much noise it's like a porn film audition. We don't get on, at all (long story) and we find them generally quite inconsiderate noise wise. Their doors and windows are always wide open, all weathers, and we can hear everything - pots and pans clattering, singing (him, loudly and badly), loud music. And she smokes skunk in the garden of an afternoon....Relations between us all are strained to say the least but there have been no rows since a dispute last summer...
On Friday they got back from the pub at 7.15 pm(I think), closed the curtains in the dining room adjacent to our back door (tis a terraced house - we are v close together at the back with kitchen windows facing across a small divided yard) and proceeded to shag loudly. We were in the garden - though not our kids thankfully. AIBU to think that this is not on??

OP posts:

Report

rosiest · 11/08/2009 21:09

LOL precious!! Oh if only it were so interesting where I live!!

Hormonesnomore · 11/08/2009 20:50

precious!

Puppyloves, I waited till a "quiet" day and brought up the subject while we were chatting. I jokingly referred to the fact that I thought she was being hurt, pretend shock, etc... and asked if she could keep the noise down a wee bit as it was embarrassing me & my family. Cue profuse apologies & red faces all round. Did the trick though. She was a lovely neighbour otherwise & we got on really well, otherwise I'd have found it difficult to raise the subject.

pingping · 11/08/2009 12:00

I once managed a pub and me and my now ex boyfriend one friday night got abit frisky so went upstairs to my flat and got down to it about an hr before closing. When we had finished what we was doing we went back down to the pub to cash up etc and the doorstaff slapped my Ex on the back and said well done to him. It wasn't till I went back into my flat and realised that I had left the Windows open.

My flat was directly above the pubs front doors so as the punters left they clearly heard everything

preciouslillywhite · 11/08/2009 10:50

A mate of mine used to live in a block of flats where his upstairs neighbours used to have noisy shags with SHOUTED commentary. Choicest- "come on, do me up the arse and finish me off" at 3am

heyvick · 11/08/2009 10:44

Fruitysunshine · 11/08/2009 09:21

Love it heyvick!!

heyvick · 11/08/2009 03:48

song suggestion.........chorus of 'hit me with your best shot' copied over and over

Fruitysunshine · 11/08/2009 00:36

I don't have a dining room....

thederkinsdame · 10/08/2009 23:37

And can grow their own bushes too Sorry, Mamazon, but the irony struck me...!

Mamazon · 10/08/2009 23:08

they are in their own homes.
they can do what they like when they like and as long as its not after 11pm, as loudly as they like.

thederkinsdame · 10/08/2009 23:04

We had was an older neighbour (think late 50s really really unpleasant in presonality and looks). Every Sunday at precisely 2pm a woman would arrive. Five minutes later he would be screaming. There was definitely a lot of pain involved IYSWIM. She was never there at any other time and left an hour later. He was so loud you could hear him in the car park which was about 30 feet from our block. Defo a prostitute. For 18 months we had to leave our flat at 1 ish every Sunday cos we couldn't stand listening to it.

Crablass · 10/08/2009 22:13

I had a neighbor who used to "entertain" enthusiastically, a variety of partners at all hours of the day.

Bagpipes on a loop played at volume whilst I was out did the trick.

ridingjoker · 10/08/2009 21:57

oh my what a video as well

kittymax · 10/08/2009 21:38

Or Marvyn Gaye's Sexual Healing, and Toni Braxton did a sexy one, think it was called High.

Don't forget to update us on the findings of your research. Please state:

whether the frequency of events decreased or increased
whether the loudness (that's not a word is it) decreased or increased, and by how many decibels (estimate)
whether dh requested some in house training to see if that had any bearing on events
which song/activity had the greater overall effect (you could give each a mark out of ten)

MuppetsMuggle · 10/08/2009 21:36

I've heard my mum & dad at it when I was younger, I just told mum the next morning I didn't appreciate the headboard banging all night as I couldn't get any sleep lol. Mum looked mortified

heard my sister & her fiance at it too when they first got together and they insisited it was the new bed she had just brought (this was when we all lived at the rents)

I would either turn some music on or get jiggy with it too

footinmouth · 10/08/2009 21:20

Play James Brown, sex machine..

kittymax · 10/08/2009 21:12

I think the Prince one goes something like
"Get off, 52 positions and a one night stand, get off, something something something, let a woman be a woman and a man be a man"

Or there's "I'm horny, horny, horny, horny"

Or "I wanna have sex on the beach, come on move your body"

Depeche Mode did a wicked song called Master and Servant (one of my faves), I recommend also downloading discovering the lyrics

For best effect, play loud and sing it louder (speakers may need repositioning)

Tidey · 10/08/2009 21:03

I posted that on the wrong thread, that was for the things that annoy you irrationally. Still, people could shag to that beat too.

Tidey · 10/08/2009 21:02

Cars that drive past my house at night with the bass turned up on the stereo. Sounds like

(approaching)'doof doof doof
(right outside)DOOF DOOF DOOF
(getting further away) doof doof doof...'

At least I think it's car stereos, either that or some pillock with a large drum practising marching outside.

footinmouth · 10/08/2009 20:58

Any suggestions?

Yeah, a song I think Timberland sang, called 'Scream' It mimics women orgasming in the chorus.

Lyrics are something like 'Scream at the top of your lungs, everybody's feeling right'

Hopefully, they'll get the message

PuppyLoves · 10/08/2009 20:58

How on earth did you bring that subject up Hormonesnomore?

Sidge · 10/08/2009 20:55

Call 999 and report someone being horrendously murdered next door. Then wait in the street, point the paramedics/police in the direction of their open door and stand back and enjoy their humiliation

Well don't really, as that would obviously be a gross misuse of the emergency system, but how funny would that be?!

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Honeymum · 10/08/2009 20:50

I'm so proud that my thread has taken off!!
Any suggestions for music we could play gratefully accepted. I'm hoping to move soon so we could have some fun with this

OP posts:

Hormonesnomore · 10/08/2009 20:38

I used to live next door to a 'screamer'. I thought at first she was being attacked till I realised what was really going on. I had to say something to her though (couldn't hear the telly some nights for it) and she apologised profusely - v. embarrassing for both of us.

ilovesprouts · 10/08/2009 20:37

rofl dh is looking at me strange as im laughing

Unflip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.