to tell my friend her ds is too old for a pushchair

[pinkington]

My freind takes her ds out in a pushchair where ever they go - including to school. The child is 6 in October and heading into year 1 - they live about 10 minutes walk from school and he can barely fit in it. I told her I thought she should reconsider using a pushchair as I thought the kids might tease him, she is highly offended AIBU?

I am too lazy to push them around at that age -surely very hard work?
Both ds have turned down the pushchair at around 2 years old and while life was rather slow for a while, I am very glad not to be pushing them everywhere now.

Bit judgey for me - so YABU

When my dd is badly constipated or generally under the weather she gets knackered very quickly and hops in the pushchair, often with a blanket. She is 4.9

I'm a bit sad to think everyone is watching thinking I'm shit or that she will be obese and so on and so on. She gets tired, goes pale and lethargic, feels the cold and needs to chill and relax.

She does loads of physical activity, goe sto gymanstics as well, and her health is very well looked after by me.

So anyone is bu when they judge without any insight into the facts surrounding that child or family circumstances.

Jane powertwin - can be pushed with your fingertips despite 4.9yo and 6mo on board. Also steers one handed. Marvellous thing.

Sweeping statement there clary. I hardly see any fat kids where I live, so if I saw a 5yo being pushed in a buggy perhaps I'm less likely to yell 'bugger me, did you all see that? How shocking!'

I used to find the judginess on here a bit of a laugh. Now it seems you can't breathe in the wrong direction without someone coming and starting a thread about it. None of anyone else's business. Worry about your own children and let others worry about theirs.

I pushed a baby and a 3yo to and from school with a 5yo and 6yo sat in the deep basket underneath

Granted they only jumped in on the last part of the mile home and it was more for fun and because I wanted to hurry up than laziness on their part (although that did come into it). Also, if the 3yo got out to walk then one of the others would jump in. So I can't really get worked up about this.
They've all grown up active and not obese so it didn't do any harm.

I agree I probably do sound very judgy and am by no means a perfect parent, to say worry about your own children is fair enough I do think it is natural to consider friends/relatives children too - we care about them and worry about their well being. The kids haven't started teasing as such (as far as I know) but have started saying things like 'why does X still go in a push chair, they are for babies' a couple have laughed when he got in it. I have suggested he rides his scooter to school (she was talking about what she is going to do when he is too big for pushchair) but she says she is worried as he is unable to ride a 2 wheel one only the 3 wheel ones and she is worried the other kids who have 2 wheel ones will tease him (hope that makes sense) - I am not entirely sure she has any concept going to school in a pushchair leaves him open to teasing

'I think we parent in a community and have the right and responsibility to look out for other children's needs too.'

Oh, I can do that. I'm a teacher, so I can look out for your child's educational, emotional,developmental, social, dietary and health needs.
I can give you advice about what to feed them, how much exercise they should have, how you should be supporting them in their education at home, how you should discipline them and what they should or shouldn't be watching on TV...
And then you could come onto Mumsnet and start a thread about how that made you feel, and that you know what's best for your child.

My sister was in a buggy until she was over 5 - her feet eventually scraped on the floor and she had to give up! My dad used to be mortified

It looked very odd, but she was a lazy little darling and mum was happy to indulge it on the school runs.
She is now a size 8, runs competitively and doesn't seem to have any ill effects! She just couldn't be arsed with walking. Not saying its a good thing, but personally I would only ever mention it to your friend in a jokey way (ie Hoho, he is so big in that pushchair he will be pushing you soon. Hint.)

But growingout do you want me leaning over your trolley in Tescos and pointing out all the things you shouldn't be buying?
Or telling off your darlings when they don't meet my exacting standards of behaviour in public?
Or being very judgy when you let your child watch an age-inappropriate film?
In a professional capacity, it's a different relationship.
My son often says 'Teacher Hat Off Mum' when we're out and about and something makes my hackles rise.

Pinkington, well done you. I would like to tell my friends to stop giving their 2 1/2 year olds bottles but I daren't. I also often feel like stopping people in the street and pulling the dummy out of their toddlers mouths I think it's the parents' responsibility to help their children grow up and become independent, and that means dumping baby habits.

i too have dc in a buggy at 2.8 but he has sn and wont walk very far at the moment ,but at 5

I can't make my mind up, if YABU or YANBU. I used a buggy for some time with DS2 who does have some SN but they are well hidden.

I am however able to say to my good friends what his issues are because I don't want to be judged unfairly, to people who I don't know so well it takes too much effort to explain every time.

It is odd to have a nearly six year old in a pushchair, but maybe there is a reason that she is too embarrased or worried about to be discussing with you. She will know it's unusual surely.

Anyway hope she isn't offended for long.

So what about my post - the one where I give reasons as to why my child uses a pushchair still.

Is that valid enough for the mumsnet jury or am I not putting the needs of bullies and health promotion high enough in my parenting agenda.

Maybe I should dye her hair as thats the most likely thing she will be bullied for. And make her walk despite stomach cramps and the shivers.

...er...no. I think I'll just stay child centred and take up any bullying with the school.

Awwww. That was a really grumpy post for me and all it did was kill the thread

I prob would not say anything on grounds of not my business, but I would be a bit . My just 4 year old DD1 walks 2 miles to pre-school and 2 miles back (at 8 miles per day for me why is the weight not falling off?)

Great for your 4yo
Some of mine would have been okay to do that.
But some weren't. They complained, they dragged their feet, they got bored of the same routed day after day. It was quicker and easier to put them in the car or take a pushchair.
Perhaps you have more time or patience than me.

tree! Your post made me giggle to myself. You are never grumpy.

Your right of course, nobody can tell the reasons for a child being in a buggy just by looking at them. DS2 doesn't look hypermobile, or that he gets dreadful leg cramps if he has walked a long way etc.

I used the buggy for ages with DS2 on the school run for DS1, I did get the odd comment, but my skin had thickened by then!

Riven, I know that if you are in that situation then you have to get on with it. It doesn't make it easier though. But if I have an easier alternative that makes everyone happier then I'm likely to take it.

Oh, that didn't read too well.
I didn't me you I meant generally.
I've been in the position where I've had to just get on with things.

Slightlycrumpled - I know but I keep trying

oooo shiny balls.