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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my friend her ds is too old for a pushchair

112 replies

pinkington · 09/08/2009 18:50

My freind takes her ds out in a pushchair where ever they go - including to school. The child is 6 in October and heading into year 1 - they live about 10 minutes walk from school and he can barely fit in it. I told her I thought she should reconsider using a pushchair as I thought the kids might tease him, she is highly offended AIBU?

OP posts:
EyeballsintheSky · 09/08/2009 21:52

Exactly thisisyesterday, why should it matter, why is it any of your business op? Their family, their rules and I daresay he'll be out of it by secondary school so no biggy.

brimfull · 09/08/2009 21:53

this reminds me of a woman I used to see walking her son to school in a pushchair at that age, she then went on to putting him on a bike and pushing that up until about the age of 10

Dd and I were alwasy amazed.

He is now about 18 and very over weight but otherwise seems ok.Nowt as queer as folk.

I woudn't say anything if I were you.

thisisyesterday · 09/08/2009 22:06

well why don't you tell us why you think it isn't ok?

it isn't hurting her. it isn't hurting him. it isn't affecting anyone.
you are the only one who has a problem with it.

it's hardly like she's abusing him or something

drlove8 · 09/08/2009 22:26

my dd is 4 and is still in a pushchair/buggy...... but she's very very small, looks about 2 and has SN but looks NT so is safer in a buggy.... her twin bro walks everywhere , no actually he runs .... but he listens and understand s that roads are dangerous and cars ect are bad and can hurt him if he goes onto a road without mummys hand ....
Are you sure that there is no SN? many conditions ar invisible.... you just cant tell by looking who's SN and who's not.
If the dc is getting bullied, and refuses to walk , why not suggest a small scooter for him to wheel about on instead? Most boys love them

steviesotherhalf · 09/08/2009 22:33

Live and let live fgs. He's hardly 10 now is he. It's hardly a major crime a 5 year old in a pushchair. If it works for them then so what? Why can't people keep their noses out of other people's lives?
It's not like he's being abused in some way, so YABU.

franklymydear · 09/08/2009 22:34

I find people who find this an ok thing odd

freaky-freaky mumsnet again

Original poster
pinkington · 09/08/2009 22:38

On reflection I probably shouldn't have said anything to her but I suppose I think she should be tackling the issues of why he won't walk rather than carrying on with the pushchair which will and is leading to him being teased.

OP posts:
Paolosgirl · 09/08/2009 22:39

Don't sweat the small stuff, Frankly - it's no biggie! Now, if she were feeding him a Greggs sausage roll and a Fruit Shoot, then I could understand the judging

franklymydear · 09/08/2009 22:44

LOL - that's the only thing you're allowed to judge on right? Not letting an almost 6 year old go in a toddler's buggy?

not sweating, it's just so unreal it makes me laugh

steviesotherhalf · 09/08/2009 22:45

Oh yeah, franklymydear, I'm a right freak me - not half as much a freak as you though

mrsruffallo · 09/08/2009 22:46

YANBU
That's just laziness on her part

mrsruffallo · 09/08/2009 22:50

I think pushing a five and a half year old around in a buggy is inappropriate.
I can't believe how many of you are saying it's okay.
It is actually a little worrying that the mother is allowing this to go on.
I would def say something to a close friend.

edam · 09/08/2009 22:58

I would think it was odd, but then there are probably people who think things I do are odd.

One of ds's friends was still using a pushchair in reception, but only when Granny was collecting. Child was a bugger for running off - really, really dangerous and obv. Granny stood no chance of catching her. Stopped using the buggy when she went into Year 1 - is still quite lively, though, would terrify me if she were mine.

londonartemis · 09/08/2009 23:16

I can't help but agree with you Mrs Ruffallo.
But then I'm a fierce old bat who walks her children to school everyday (20 minutes each way), even the nursery child. (BTW Loads of kids seem to scoot to school these days.)
However, a pram is a handy trolley for walking home from Sainsbury's, so maybe there are other reasons for keeping using it. Don't think I would have said anything, but I would certainly have thought it.

franklymydear · 09/08/2009 23:23

rofl - if you're pushing around a perfectly mobile and capable 5 or 6 year old in a toddlers' buggy then yes the cap appears to fit

katiestar · 09/08/2009 23:30

Frankly - Its not a case of whether people think its odd or OK.Its a question of whether one needs to voice every thought that comes into one's head.No one doesn't .It doesn't affect the Op in any way shape or form so she should just butt out.

choosyfloosy · 09/08/2009 23:30

I would find this just as bizarre as you do (I have occasionally pushed ds in a pushchair this year when he was asleep, going home after a night out, and i could barely MOVE it he was so big) but... it is THEIR BUSINESS.

i had a dummy until I was 7 (not in public admittedly). not really ideal parenting but i still remember the sense of immense peace and comfort I used to get from it after a long hard day at primary school . i would imagine this has something of the same connotations for him, all the more so if he is being teased.

TBH I would focus on the teasing; which children are being horrible enough to tease a classmate because of something so irrelevant? That needs tackling, not her slightly unusual parenting choice.

choosyfloosy · 09/08/2009 23:31

oh, now i see that the teasing has not even happened yet... so, what's the problem again?

EyeballsintheSky · 09/08/2009 23:38

Dummy till I was seven here too choosyfloosy Only at bedtime though. I'm sure we would have been judged to hell and back but I don't have it now and I assume you don't so no big deal.

I just can't see what business it is of any else's what this family choose to do. It's not abuse, it might be laziness but so what. I know laziness is the crime of the century but really, it's no big deal.

KTNoo · 09/08/2009 23:40

Is it the mother trying to keep her baby a baby?

I have a friend who pushes her 5-year old to school in a pushchair, with his dummy in his mouth. At the end of school she carries him out.

When he's with his Dad (they are separated) he walks to school with no dummy and his backpack on like all the others in his class.

I think this is really weird and feel sorry for the boy, BUT, although I have trouble keeping my trap shut at times I don't say anything because my friend is most definitely NOT asking for my opinion.

So I agree with OP that it's odd, but I wouldn't say anything.

Kayugaduck · 10/08/2009 00:05

My ds was out of a buggy at age 2 because he had his older siblings and so wanted to run around with them and hold their hands. We regularly go walking as a family (live in rural area) and he's 3 now and able to walk a mile,exploring as he goes, up hills etc without asking to be picked up. This is probably how it was for most dc from the Stone Age up until the 1970s!

When we visit city centres it is amazing the number of dc older than him still strapped in buggies but it is usually (I think) because the child would be disruptive in shops as many dc are bored and with more traffic about could be dangerous, and stressy (for mum). Walking is not interesting or fun for the child anymore.

sheepgomeep · 10/08/2009 00:49

my 2 year old dd is a bolter with style, not only does she scoot off without warning but she can unlock doors but can open and climb out of downstairs windows (no locks, Council house)She managed to get out of a door at a friends yesterday, she was so lucky to be alive... she wandered up the road and into the arms of a passing stranger who brought her back (I wasn't there, dp was)

I intend to keep her in a pushchair as long as possible, she hates reins, either has almighty tantrums or lies on the path and refuses to move. short of dragging her...

NotanOtter · 10/08/2009 01:05

interesting debate

i would always say too too old but this thread has opened my eyes

fine actually as 90 % kids probably strapped in a car seat

yabu

sheepgomeep · 10/08/2009 01:12

why is it worrying mrs ruffalo? It's hardly child abuse

Clary · 10/08/2009 01:34

I wouldn't say anything myself unless asked.

In fact I *haven't said anything (ie have been in sort-of similar situation).

BUT I am with those who are amazed that anyone would push a nearly 6yo in a buggy.

And for those who say it's not hurting anyone, have they looked around them recently at all the fat kids? (I have just come back from a hol where every 3rd child seemd to be overweight )

Maybe one reason is that they are not getting their hour of daily activity - for which a 20 min walk to and from school would be a big help.

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