My son is 11 goblinchild, my toddler is 2! how old do you think I am?! I'm not a naive 19yo and yes I am strict and have certain expectations of my son and his behaviour. Respect for other people is at the very top of that list.
No of course my brother isn't going to beat my son up, how absurd. I don't need to resort to violence to control my children ~ how ridiculous! but my son only has my dad and his uncle as male role models, so he tends to listen differently to them than to me.
I'm fully aware that not every loved child grows up to be a responsible and respectful teen, I have a very good friend in exactly that position with her teen Dd, but her experience is quite extreme and I think, unusual.
I was brought up by very strict parents and yes I had a few moments, but you would never have found me drinking and sitting around outside anyones home at 3 in the morning. My deadline for being indoors was 11 o'clock ~ even at the age of 20 as I was planning my wedding day! I respected my parents enough to follow their rules(their house, their rules). I do also recall going through an odd stage at 15 where the transition from child to adult was a weird one. I'm hoping to draw on my experience of that when my Dc's need reassurance, guidance and advice. I won't though, expect them to be making a nuisance of themselves to other people at 3am.
I also remember thinking whilst shopping that 'if that was my child it wouldn't be screaming like that'. I think we've all done that and I still smile when I see other people's faces at a screamy child in the supermarket now having had/sometimes still having a toddler in a supermarket strop.
Lastly, if we don't have ideals for our children and their behaviour, what then is the point? live for the day? only deal with things our Dc's do on a daily basis? or try to teach them for the future ~ their future and everyone elses? I know which I'm trying to do.