Bloody teenagers, where the hell are the parents

[Tiredmumno1]

Why oh why do i have to endure a load of teenagers hanging about on the pitch black field, laughing + talking (loudly) at 20 past 3 in the morning. I just wanna sleep AIBU.

Teenage brains are wired differently. It isn't a case of early to bed -early to rise.
see here

OK, I'll agree to differ.
So what do you think that Tiredmumno1 should do? Go and ask the teens to be more quiet, or phone pest control? Or stay on mumsnet for sympathy and understanding of how difficult it is having to share a planet with teenagers?

I was talking to my Y3 class about their town, and almost every one of them put down teenagers as a problem that they were frightened of.
When I told them what was their inevitable future (barring accidents) they all denied that they would become aggressive, knife-carrying graffiti-spraying drunken monsters. Like the ones they were frightened of. I live in a 'nice' area where the local crime statistics are a bit of a giggle.
I then asked them how many owned hoodies already.
It will be interesting to ask them how they feel about society in another 8 years time, and how they will feel life is on the other side of the fence.

I would log the incidents and go to either the parish council or the police with them. There is no reason why they should keep other people awake.

Thanks picesmoon.
Melatonin is often prescribed for ASD children to help adjust their sleep patterns, but I bet you knew that already.

pisces -that's exactly the study I think is a load of bolleaux. I have looked after a great many teenagers, including a lot not my own, and believe me, if they go to bed at a sensible time, they get up with no problems at a sensible time. I successfully claw back my now 15 yr old Spanish "son" (I have him every year for at least a month) from 2am-11am sleeping to 10pm- 8am in less than a week. Otherwise our days and trips out etc are just completely up the creek.

I've seen that before and am not convinced.

The only bit I have some time for is that some teens seem to be able to stay up later and still get up early. But they only get up early if they have something to do otherwise they 'can't be bothered' and sleep in creating a later and later bedtime.

I would say that maybe the pressure build-up to go to sleep starts from when you get up so if you get up later then it won't have built up sufficient for you to want to go to bed.
Also, rising early, perhaps melatonin is only released after a certain number of hours sleep. Which would be later if you go to bed later.

I'm more inclined towards
"Professor Jim Horne, director of the Sleep Research Centre at Loughborough University, has been less receptive to such theories, suggesting that the role of melatonin is exaggerated. Professor Horne said that late sleeping in adolescence was down to behaviour more than biology, with social conventions affecting sleep patterns"

I would agree duchesse, but you can't go to sleep if you are not tired.
I have never let mine just hang about-it is asking for trouble.

I reckon the parents of the teenagers TOLD them to get out of the house so that they (the parents) could get some sleep!
Most responsible parents would not let their kids out at that time of the night, especially their daughters.
Mixed groups with drink and god knows what else.
In other countries they have curfews for children under 18yrs old.

I love the suggestion to go talk to them. I tried that with the kids who kept climbing over my kitchen roof so they could hang out and 'chat' in the walkway at the end of the gardens. My polite, "could you please stop banging on the roof and get down from there please" was greeted with "F*Off you bitch" and "Go back in your house you stupid cow" When I threatened to find out where their parents lived, the response was "Go on, you can tell my mum, I DARE YOU!"

Exactly 2kidzandi, i know if i say something i will just get abuse, + then they will just target the house, as i tried to speak to some younger ones to advise them that making a fire in the park was not a good thing to do. Next day the bbq from our garden had been nicked. Its so ridiculous, you cant tell me it coincidence.

Where do U live, Maryz? I found your first post poignant .
Kids left school at age 14 in Britain back in the 1940s. So at age 14 they went into full-time work (except for the elite few).
Society didn't have a teenage 'problem' back then. Nor did teens get into bizarre sleeping routines. Funny that.

I wonder, have we infantilised our older "children" by making them stay in education, not letting them work or take on adult responsablities? 200+ years ago they would be getting jobs, getting married and starting families -- those were the point of the teen years. Why should we be surprised that modern teens sometimes behave like overgrown toddlers, when society insists on treating them like children far past the point when they remotely resemble children?

Its not all teenagers but some just do not understand how they ruin others lives. I once had a small shop which was at the end of a parade of shops with a wall outside seperating the shop from the house next door. I was absolutely plagued with teens meeting and sitting on the wall using foul language and generally intimidating customers, not to mention the constant footballs being kicked against the wall (being used as a goal). Nothing would stop them.

I also had a similar problem in a previous house where teens used to constantly lick balls against the shutters of the local shop at night after it closed. Used to drive me insane; the constant thud, thud, thud.

But as I have said before, they are not all like this.

YANBU

I think that we have lljkk.

They seem to be in a no-man's land.

My children want jobs but there are none available for the hours that they can work.

I'm sure a lot of problems would go away if there was responsible work available from the age of around 14 (which is the age my father and my mil started work).

Just found this thread again.

Yes, the 'uneducated' comment I made is about respect and consideration ~ not their schooling.

The alley near me is in the middle of an estate, many homes are privately owned, and others are rented. The teens use the area outside my house because there is an area of hardstanding that they can sit on and surrounding gardens they can vandalise so that bordom doesn't set in. The cans and glass bottles left lying around are a nightmare ~ picture my 2yo running up my path and falling over on the broken glass for example. The foul language isn't what anyone wants to hear especially my elderly neighbours, and shall I photograph my neighbours broken window(2nd one in recent times)that happens to face into the alley?they can't afford to replace it again, so have boarded it up instead; or the broken up greenhouse with the broken bottles thrown that caused it?

Yes, it is far too frightening to speak with them about keeping the noise down; they take it as if you are challenging them and don't forget as they watch you go back up your garden path...they know where you live.
This sort of behaviour isn't new but it gets worse and worse each year.

My Ds will not be doing this sort of thing. I always say to him 'If you want to do something, think whether I would approve of it. If the answer is 'no', don't do it. If in any doubt at all, don't do it'. I think I'm educating him.

SOLO - Sadly your last paragraph is quite naive.

Anyone else remember the passage in Peer Gynt where his mother is nagging him about his irresponsible behaviour and he laughs at her and puts her up on the roof? Then goes off and does as he pleases.
My boy is 7" taller than me and 2 stone heavier. Fortunately he is a lovely teenager, but he could lift me onto the garage roof and then I'd be stuffed.

The last paragraph is wonderfully naive. It is largely down to luck how your DC behaves. I have been lucky, but I don't think it is entirely due to DH and I, I know lovely people who tear their hair out with wayward teens and I would class them 'good' parents.
I have lived in my area a long time and have seen a lot through from babies. You can't look at your lovely 2yr old, 6 yr old 10 yr old and know what they are going to be like at 13, 15,17 etc.-there will be surprises!!

Hope you get some sleep tonight Tiredmumo1 you deserve it!

My eldest DS is 14 and I can't imagine for one minute how a parent could allow their Dc to be out til 3 in the morning at that age.
Surely children of 13,14,15 are stii very reliant on their parents for money, lifts , clothes and so on.So I don't undersatnd how parents can't control them.If they can't behave they don't get their allowance.
(Mind you I have still another 3 DC yet to hit their teens , so I might have to eat my words !)

i hope i get sleep to, i was thinking about purchasin ear plugs

In all seriousness, ear plugs might be the best solution. You can't change their behaviour, but you can change your response to it, and all that.

For those wondering how young teenagers are out and about in the small hours - for some, their parents don't care, for others, the parents simply don't know. I was lucky enough to have fairly civilised teens, but my friend's brothers (as we were growing up) repeatedly absconded from home via the bedroom window, while the parents thought they were asleep.

Ive got 2 teenagers who are always up before 9am!
Ive got a few friends whose teenagers are the same so i think 'the study of teens' is a load of rubbish!

If they go to bed at a decent hour they will get up at a decent hour