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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to give DD's friend another choice

113 replies

Sparkler · 03/08/2009 12:41

I'm looking after a friend's children today. I've just made them some lunch, sandwiches etc, and offered them the choice of which crisps they wanted. Two minutes later one of friend's dds (who is almost 10) tells me that she doesn't like her crisps as they were too salty for her and could she swap them. I told her that she did have a choice which ones she wanted and that because she had opened them she should eat them up (nasty witch Sparkler alert lmao)
Next thing she comes into the kitchen and tells me that she had put them out on the bird table and could she have another packet.
AIBU for telling her that she couldn't have any more and that she'd had her choice and she shouldn't have wasted them like that?
Oh dear - I'm so glad I don't have four girls of my own

OP posts:
everythingistaken · 03/08/2009 19:15

my daughters friend was round( she is a really fussy eater, hense she hardly eats)
i cooked 3 different meals and in the end she still didnt eat it! needless to say i was very pissed off!! and never cooked for her again.
i also thought maybe she didn't like my cooking but nah can't be that cause her mum only cooks frozen food and burns everything. so in past experiance i would say no, u done the right thing.

hambler · 03/08/2009 19:18

this thread has reminded me why I dislike other children coming to tea

SoupDragon · 03/08/2009 19:20

This thread has made me glad that my children never have to go to tea at some of your houses.

kathyis6incheshigh · 03/08/2009 19:22

It would be mean to force her to eat them but the OP didn't, she just didn't give her another packet. It's not as if crisps are a human right!
I would have done the 'if you're still hungry you can have a raw carrot or some fruit' line.

SoupDragon · 03/08/2009 19:25

"I told her that she did have a choice which ones she wanted and that because she had opened them she should eat them up"

alardi · 03/08/2009 19:25

yabu to worry about the birds getting too much salt from one bag of crisps. Bread crumbs probably have nearly as much salt as crisps.

I would not have given another packet; crisps are not an essential daily food group. Also, Yabu to worry about all this. Life is Waaaayyy too short

pointydog · 03/08/2009 19:26

'You fucked up with the crisps, lady, crunch on a carrot'

kathyis6incheshigh · 03/08/2009 19:27

Oh ok Soupdragon, so she did say she should eat them up. Still doesn't change the fact that she was entirely reasonable not to give her any more.

everythingistaken · 03/08/2009 19:29

lol @ pointydog,think i will try that one next time, without the swearword .

HerBeatitude · 03/08/2009 19:44

The thing is, if one of you had an adult guest who took the wrong biscuit thinking it was chocolate and it turned out to be coffee and she hates coffee and said "oh, sorry, I can't stand coffee flavoured stuff, can I have another biscuit - one of those orange ones/ jaffa cakes/ jammy dodgers instead" would you say, "No, you should have been more careful with your choices, eat that coffee flavoured one, it would be wasteful not to"?

Thinking about it, maybe I would actually... I have too many people coming in to eat biscuits they need to be discouraged...

GetOrfMoiLand · 03/08/2009 19:44

Lol at some of you thinking a kid is sly and manipulative over a bag of crisps!

I don't think I would have given a second thought, just handed over another bag.

Mind you I have had a little girl cry at the dinner I dished up. She just looked silently at the plate of spaghetti carbonara I served up, tears rolling down her face.

My cooking's not that bad . I just made her some chips.

pigsinmud · 03/08/2009 20:07

I am really quite paranoid about children coming to tea. They never eat my food unless it's pizza out of a box.

I hate the whole tea thing. I nearly always turn that day into our junk food meal of the week day. Probably means that all dcs friends think we live on junk food, but I don't care.

I suppose it could bebecause we're veggie and they need meat?! I once bought fish fingers for a boy as that was all he ate apparently .... he didn't eat them!

HerBeatitude · 03/08/2009 20:08

I once had a boy for tea who was "allergic" to vegetables. And needed his ketchup arranged in a certain shape on a certain point on his plate.

LynetteScavo · 03/08/2009 21:36

Many years ago when I was looking after somebody elses 5 year old, he had a freind to tea. I served up pork cohps, as intructed by the boys mother.

Boy "Is this pork or beef?"

Me "Pork"

Boys Friend "No, it's beef"

Me "No it's definately pork"

Boys Friend (as he finishes of the meat) "I'm sure it's beef; I don't eat pork because I'm Jewish."

oliviasmama · 03/08/2009 22:44

LOL @ Lynette

oh and I'd have definately offered another bag of crisps.... come on all you hardies out there, it's a child and a bag of crisps fgs, hardly the end of the world

KTNoo · 03/08/2009 23:44

In that situation I would not give another packet and I would explain why not. My own dcs wouldn't get another so same goes for guests.

I would probably have said she could have an apple or something instead, if she was hungry.

Having said that crisps are a treat in my house so they always eat them when they occasionally get them.

But them I'm a wicked witch who puts each meal on the table and expects them to eat it or go hungry. Not a fan of endless options or grazing either.

KTNoo · 03/08/2009 23:52

....and can't believe the lengths some of you go to to keep other people's kids happy! Seems a bit unfair to your own, unless you cook 3 different meals etc on a regular basis for your own dcs too?

If kids come for tea they have what we're having anyway, chicken casserole, shepherd's pie, pasta and tomato sauce - it's not like I'm expecting them to eat thai curry (mmm) or sheep's eyeballs or whatever. I don't see why they should have to get junk food if it's not what you normally eat. If they don't eat it they can have fruit or yogurt but I wouldn't consider for a second cooking something different. I would tell the mum that he/she might still be hungry as he/she didn't eat any dinner.

My dcs are told to eat whatever they are given at someone else's house.

DollyPS · 04/08/2009 01:03

KT I'm the same no changing meals for their friends at all.

As for the crisps no I wouldnt of given her another packet as she on purpose put them on the bird table after being told no not changing them and she is 9 and they can be sneaky and sly not downright nasty but sneaky all the same.

juuule · 04/08/2009 09:50

"unless you cook 3 different meals etc on a regular basis for your own dcs too?"

Yes, I do, quite a bit of the time

But there are 9 of them and a 16 year age range so lots of likes and dislikes there. A lot of the time I cook a variety of stuff and let them choose what they want on their plates.

juuule · 04/08/2009 09:51

I can't believe all the fuss over a bag of crisps

simplesusan · 04/08/2009 10:07

Juuule-Can I come to your house for tea-Pleeeeaase?

Promise I will eat the first packet of crisps that I choose.

juuule · 04/08/2009 10:20

Oh go on then, Simplesusan. You might have to bring your own chair though or squash on with someone

LoveBeingAMummy · 04/08/2009 10:24

Its a packet of crisps FFS

KTNoo · 04/08/2009 13:46

Wow juuule, you're a nicer person than me. I'd better stop at 3 dcs otherwise I'll never find something they all like. I feel like I spend loads of time in the kitchen as it is, without it turning into a cafe with different menu options. I do actually anounce that the cafe is closed, sometime around 7pm.

letsgostrawberrypicking · 04/08/2009 13:47

Juule - can you give a sample menu of what you would cook for an evening meal please? Have a large family too - not 9 though! Am always after ideas for their different tastes