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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse to give DD's friend another choice

113 replies

Sparkler · 03/08/2009 12:41

I'm looking after a friend's children today. I've just made them some lunch, sandwiches etc, and offered them the choice of which crisps they wanted. Two minutes later one of friend's dds (who is almost 10) tells me that she doesn't like her crisps as they were too salty for her and could she swap them. I told her that she did have a choice which ones she wanted and that because she had opened them she should eat them up (nasty witch Sparkler alert lmao)
Next thing she comes into the kitchen and tells me that she had put them out on the bird table and could she have another packet.
AIBU for telling her that she couldn't have any more and that she'd had her choice and she shouldn't have wasted them like that?
Oh dear - I'm so glad I don't have four girls of my own

OP posts:

posieparkerinChina · 03/08/2009 13:59

My own child I would not swap, someone else's (unless someone I looked after regularly) I would swap.

Oliveoil · 03/08/2009 14:03

I wouldn't eat soggy pizza either tbh

I try and be the hostess with the mostess

playdates are supposed to be fun (if not for me) so I try and feed them what they want

Mumcentreplus · 03/08/2009 14:06

Ahhh..wicked woman ..I would have swapped them unless there was history ie she comes round everytime and wants to swap foodstuffs..probably wasn't the brand she was used to.

pointydog · 03/08/2009 14:10

yabu.

I'd just fold over/peg the unwanted bag of crisps and give her another. I wouldn't think twice about it. I want people to be relaxed at my house.

skybright · 03/08/2009 14:14

I wonder if it was the blue/green walkers/golden wonder thing.

I have opened a packet of salt and vinegar before (which i hate) thinking it was cheese and onion.

gagamama · 03/08/2009 14:21

Did you tell her she couldn't waste them, or something to that effect? I think that would explain why she put them on the bird table, hence not wasting them.

YABU to force a child to eat crisps which are too salty. I guess it's up to you to decide whether giving her another bag of crisps would cripple you. Personally I'd just give her another bag, life's too short, friendship too fragile, and crisps too cheap to worry about it.

HerBeatitude · 03/08/2009 14:22

I want to know how to stop pizza going soggy in the middle

I don't blame that boy not wanting ot eat soggy pizza. I don't want to either but I always do because I can't work out how to make it not soggy. Always follow the instructions but it's still bloody soggy.

Oh and I think you were being just a teensy bit unreasonable, but not grotesquely so.

pigsinmud · 03/08/2009 14:28

I'm not sure. How many crisps had she eaten? If she'd eaten half the packet and then decided she didn't like them, then no way would I give her another packet. If she'd only eaten 1 or 2 then I'd have kept that packet and given her another.

puffling · 03/08/2009 14:33

I tend to be more lenient with other people's kids. However, the putting the crisps on the bird table while you weren't looking was a bit sly. That would have really annoyed me.

MrsBadger · 03/08/2009 14:35

HerBeatitude - cook directly on oven shelf, not on tray

put tray on shelf below to catch dripping cheese

HerBeatitude · 03/08/2009 14:36

Ah, OK will try that thanks

hercules1 · 03/08/2009 14:36

I would have given her another packet if I felt they were genuinely too salty. However I wouldnt have given her another one after what she did with the bird table.

pointydog · 03/08/2009 14:41

SOund s like the girl thought that the op was very disapporiving of waste and that is why she put them on the bird table.

I think that's quite resourceful (even though misguided) of her. Seems as if she was trying to please, not sly at all.

HerBeatitude · 03/08/2009 14:59

It's a bit depressing that so many people automatically assume that the 7 year old in question is sly and manipulative.

It seems to me like a very practical way of disposing of the crisps and not wasting them. (If you're not well-informed about birds' nutritional needs )

Why not give her the benefit of the doubt?

MrsBadger · 03/08/2009 15:06

OP says she is almost 10

whatmaisieknew · 03/08/2009 15:08

At nearly 10 years old I'd expect a child who found her chosen packet of crisps too salty (CRISPS FGS so where's the surprise re the salt ?) perhaps not to want to eat them, but it's a bit cheeky to ask for another packet. If my dd(10) had done that I'd be a bit embarrassed and would gently discuss her manners with her later. To a guest I'd offer an apple or something instead but wouldn't really feel inclined to let her fuss over more crisps.

simplesusan · 03/08/2009 15:09

I would have changed the crisps.

Other people's kids can get on your nerves tbh.
My children have been brought up to finish their meals but I wouldn't expect anyone to eat something they find too salty.

Stigaloid · 03/08/2009 15:13

I think YABU - she was not to know they were going to be so salty and too much salt is bad for you anyway. She is a guest and had she continued to change all her meal plans i would have said no more but she only asked to change some crisps.

HerBeatitude · 03/08/2009 15:14

oh, almost 10. 9 then. I've noticed that on MN, a child who invites disapproval is always described as "almost..." the next age along, never the age they actually are. Whereas my own little darling is always their right age, even if their birthday is next week.

still would give her another packet tbh. Can imagine DS (10) choosing the wrong packet.

morningpaper · 03/08/2009 15:14

crisps are the work of the devil

HerBeatitude · 03/08/2009 15:15

I have children staying with me who keep wanting only chips for tea.

God they are trying. It's true simplesusan, other people's kids really are so annoying.

MrsBadger · 03/08/2009 15:20

hmm re 'almost ' ages

I describe dd as 'almost 2' because, although obv still 1 till next week, she is worlds away from a 14mo who is also '1'.

and saying '23m' sounds pfb

IKnowWhoYouAre · 03/08/2009 15:23

I had a food police playdater come round last week. He said "Did you buy this garlic bread or did you make it?" Admitted to buying it from supermarket and got a lecture on "You should make it, it's much better for you, we always make it in my house." I shuffled off mumbling about being busy and feeling like shit. This child is 5.

HerBeatitude · 03/08/2009 15:24

ROFL ROFL at playdate food police officer

no, 23 m is OK. Once it gets to over 36 months, that's when it's PFB IMO.

Greensleeves · 03/08/2009 15:26

mean IMO

if they were too salty for her it's good that she didn't want to eat them

and it's crisps fgs - not smoked salmon

inhospitable and mean, sorry

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