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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to give DD's friend another choice

113 replies

Sparkler · 03/08/2009 12:41

I'm looking after a friend's children today. I've just made them some lunch, sandwiches etc, and offered them the choice of which crisps they wanted. Two minutes later one of friend's dds (who is almost 10) tells me that she doesn't like her crisps as they were too salty for her and could she swap them. I told her that she did have a choice which ones she wanted and that because she had opened them she should eat them up (nasty witch Sparkler alert lmao)
Next thing she comes into the kitchen and tells me that she had put them out on the bird table and could she have another packet.
AIBU for telling her that she couldn't have any more and that she'd had her choice and she shouldn't have wasted them like that?
Oh dear - I'm so glad I don't have four girls of my own

OP posts:
IKnowWhoYouAre · 03/08/2009 15:28

It was extra annoying because I had splashed out on garlic doughballs, in honour of guest, who is notoriously fussy. He was one who licks things then puts them back. At least your crispfiend didn't do that.

gagamama · 03/08/2009 15:58

Haha, talking of pizzas and friends and playdates, I took my DCs for tea with my friend recenrly. They had pizza, friend asked if they would like 'chips with that'. They said yes. When it arrived, DS1 (almost 4) regarded it disapprovingly before exclaiming 'that's not ciabatta!'

simplesusan · 03/08/2009 16:13

Blimey I knowwhoyouare, now that would test my patience!

My son's friend is here right now. Earlier I made him a sandwich, after checking what he liked! He asked if he could have tomato ketchup on it, no problem. However when I gave him the bottle his face fell as it is Heinz special blend one and not his favourite I just smiled sweetly and said well that is the only one I have. He then proceeded to leave his crusts telling me that I eat them sometimes but not today! He is 12 btw!

LynetteScavo · 03/08/2009 16:18

I would have let her have another packet...then all the other children would have wanted a different packet too, and there would be loads of half eaten packets of crisps. Which I would have polished off.

I have no idea if you were unreasonable or not.

Greensleeves · 03/08/2009 16:18

I have to drill my ds1 NOT to make priggish remarks on playdates and at parties

he is 6 and has AS and NO tact

he holds his nose when we go past McDonalds on the bus and calls Burger King Burger StinKing

he made a name for himself with the dinner ladies on his first day at school by asking in a loud imperious voice whether the pasta in the tuna pasta bake would be cooked al dente

he doesn't get it from me

mrswee · 03/08/2009 16:20

Surely if one flavour of crisps is too salty for her then another would be just the same.. Crisps are salty - all flavours!

monkeyfeathers · 03/08/2009 16:23

I don't think you're being unreasonable. You offered a choice, she chose and then decided she didn't like them. At that point I'd've just told her that she should choose more carefully next time (I wouldn't necessarily have told her she had to eat them, but I wouldn't have given her another packet). That's how my DS would expect to be treated under the circumstances. It's a packet of crisps; it's not like she'll starve without them!

I'd've been really annoyed that she put them on the bird table so that she could ask for another packet too. That's quite manipulative.

I work on the principle that all DS's friends follow our rules in our house, and DS is expected to follow their rules in their house.

Original poster
Sparkler · 03/08/2009 16:27

PMSL LynetteScavo!!
I think I've been forgiven for being a witch now. There doesn't seem to be any hard feelings between us and we've just had a lovely time at the park

OP posts:
edam · 03/08/2009 16:42

at playdate food police - have you checked whether his mother is an MNer?

I'm always entertained by visiting children who are astonished when they complain about 'I don't like broccoli' or whatever and I say fine, don't eat it then. They look like this . But it is really not my job to worry about other peoples' children especially when one meal without broccoli florets is not going to kill them!

(I do check with the parents beforehand that there isn't anything the child genuinely doesn't like - as a former fussy eater I'd hate to produce something they would struggle to get down.)

simplesusan · 03/08/2009 16:47

Edam I have had the "I don't eat any veg" kids too.
I always think "well my kids will be eating veg today" and just dish the visitors everything else up except veg.
Agree about it not being your job to police the diet of other people's children.

edam · 03/08/2009 16:49

ah, I do dish up the broccoli or whatever, just say they can leave it on their plate if they don't want it. Think ds might Get Ideas if he saw me serving someone with just protein and carbohydrate. He already tries out lines like 'I'm allergic to...' just because he's overheard them at school.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 03/08/2009 16:55

I think YAB a bit U. It may well be a different brand to what she is used to and therefore more salty. I'd have given her another packet. Don't think she's a spoiled brat at all.

ADealingMummy · 03/08/2009 18:26

Yabu ,

I would have just given her another bag of crisps .

Just my honest opinion.

juuule · 03/08/2009 18:32

Yabu - I'd have given her a different packet.

OrmIrian · 03/08/2009 18:33

She doesn't like them? Fine. She doesn't eat them. But she doesn't get an alternative. She won't starve due to lack of crisps.

AvengingGerbil · 03/08/2009 18:44

Have what you're given, like it or lump it

juuule · 03/08/2009 18:49

Think some of you are being a bit harsh.
Have none of you ever made a mistake? She thought she liked them and found out she didn't and asked for a different bag. Where's the harm in that?

DesperateHousewifeToo · 03/08/2009 18:50

I'd have taken them out of the packet, one by one, licked them all and put them back in and handed them back to her.

Sorted

Putting them on the bird table and then expecting another packet would have really pissed me off.

Moral: only by one flavour of crisps in future

herbietea · 03/08/2009 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cupofteaplease · 03/08/2009 18:56

I would have given her another packet when she first asked and saved the original crisps for dh who eats anything. So, IMO YABU.

SoupDragon · 03/08/2009 19:00

Sorry but YABU. Not all brands of, say, ready salted crisps are the same level of saltiness. Would you be happy at being forced to eat something you didn't like? Putting them on the bird table hoes a level of thought - in her mind they weren't being wasted in the same way as they would have been had she put them in the bin.

It was a bag of crisps. you were mean.

pointydog · 03/08/2009 19:01

What's wrong with you people? It's a lousy bag of crisps and we're getting all this 'oo, how spoiled, how sly, I'll have none of it'

SoupDragon · 03/08/2009 19:04

"asking in a loud imperious voice whether the pasta in the tuna pasta bake would be cooked al dente"

[arf] Fabulous!

katiestar · 03/08/2009 19:08

YABU to tell a child she must eat something which ios too salty for her !How wouyld you feel if one of your Dc had been forced to eat something they found too salty ?
I would have just given her another packet

giantkatesgettingwedtomorrow · 03/08/2009 19:13

My ds has asked where the extra pine nuts are for sprinkling on his pesto pasta on a playdate before. He's 5 .

Tbh though they just get used to food being exactly the same as the food at home though dont they?

That being said I wouldnt have given her another packet but there wouldnt have been a choice in the first place in my house cos its all ready salted hula hoops - safest innit?