to buy a dog without DH agreeing to it?

[SoccerMum]

I so want a little dog, as much as I want one, DH doesnt.

Im sat here plotting to but one without him knowing, and concocting some yarn about how I came about getting the dog?

AIBU?

hmc - from what I have seen of people I know with dogs, then I would have to say it certainly doesn't look like a dog would be easy.

I think with something like a dog then you do have to go for both people agreeing to it. It affects both of you. So both parties have to say yes before a dog arrives IMO.

soccermum - you say you are "sat here plotting to but one without him knowing" having begun your OP by saying that DH doesn't want a dog.

dogs require a lifetime of commitment from all members of the household. Not everyone loves animals and a dog isn't everyone's idea of pleasure.

there are 1000s of dogs all over the country in rescue centers because their owners didn't realise how much work they would be.

i'm not saying your opinion doesn't count but it is unfair on your DH (and the dog) to get one without his agreement

But it IS easy! If only husbands and children were so simple. I am a dog owner so I know. A lot of the conjecture on this thread about how supposedly onerous it is, comes from people who do not have dogs. It's a bit like a childless person sharing their philosophies on parenting.

I'm not especially a dog lover as it happens (my children and dh wanted a dog and I went along with it) - but once we got a couple of pooches I was relieved to discover that owning a dog was not a big deal. Okay, I probably have to hoover more frequently than I otherwise would...but honestly, would someone please spell out to me what precisely they think is so infinitely demanding and difficult about dog ownership?

I am not on a mission to convert everybody to dog ownership. I fully appreciate that some people are not partial to - what was it Hamble, their pungent odour, drooling etc .... however I can't let this nonsense about the huge responsibility of it go unchallenged

"dogs require a lifetime of commitment from all members of the household"

"all members"....I know, I know - it weighs heavily on 5 year old ds and 7 year old dd, they go to bed with worry lines etched on their foreheads. It's all such a strain

I give up. You are all barking (excuse the dreadful pun)

I know you are all correct..but I cant shake the desire! It would be easier if one of us were allergic, or if e were hard up, worked all the time etc. But the only reason we cant get one is that he doesnt want one, and in 5 years hasnt come up with a valid reason in my opinion!

Having the hamster is enough of a pain for me, let alone a dog that I'd have to be there every day for.

Just being honest - I don't have the inclination to make time for a dog. PILs said they'd not have another when their dog died as it was too much of a tie and they wanted more freedom again.

It just isn't for me. And as a result I would be furious with DH if he brought a dog home without my agreement.

hmc - I already said what commitment aspects I would find the wrst (for me) - the tie of having to be there. We like to go away for weekends and we like to have holidays abroad. We like to go out for the day and not worry about when we are getting back. I don't want to be tied, or to have the extra hassle of sorting out somewhere for the dog to go if I do want to be away the hamseter is bad enough! Also, I dont want to have to take a dog for a walk in the pouring rain after a busy work day.

I suppose it depends upon what provision you have. I am not 'tied' by them (my cleaner will come and dog sit at a drop of a hat if we want an impromptu weekend away)...and I don't feel I have to be home by a certain time for them either - perhaps because there are two of them and they are company for each other.

As for holidays abroad - I'm having 2 this year (dog sitter again - other people use kennels)

HMC - thank you! Youve mad me feel like I'm NOT some kind of nutcase who would dump her tinkerbell back in the pound half an hour after it gets it's first outfit!

I suppose I could put the rabbit on a lead, it looks like a chihuahua anyhow!

soccermum - is there a dogstrust centre near you? they are often looking for volunteers to help exercise the dogs. maybe your DH could compromise by doing something like this and that way, you could make him realise that dogs to bring loads of fun into your lives.

Yeah Scotland - there is one about 3 miles away. Im gonna give them a ring after the school holidays and see what i can offer them.

SoccerMum, yes we kept the puppy. Had her for 2 years, then we got posted to Australia so my mum and dad had her for 2.5 years, then when we returned we took her back.

By this time I was not working/training full time and had a dd, so we got another dog to keep dog no 1 company.

But the 2nd dog was a joint decision. My dh did not think things through when we got dog no 1.

Both dogs have passed away now, one aged 13 and one aged 15. I really miss them now, but we have moved into a flat, so no chance of getting another one.

dogs are a tie, you can't just be spontaneous and go on hols when you fancy it. I have the opposite problem to you, SoccerMum. DH wants a dog and I definately don't!

YABU, until you both agree on the same thing.

SoccerMum, just seen this thread and thought I'd add my pennies worth

I've recently been in your position, but it was about getting a cat - I really wanted it, but dh didn't, although he loves cats. It was the responsibility and the long term commitment, although as we already have two dogs my point was that it wouldn't make much difference. I KNEW he'd love the kitten when we got her (I was pretty much adamant that we would) and although we had quite a few arguments about it and had a couple of days hardly speaking, I went ahead and brought her home...
Three weeks later and DH is smitten! They spend every evening snuggled up on the sofa together and he loves playing with her, but as expected it's me who does the looking after, which is fine.

What I'm trying to say is that it depends on how well you know your dh, and whether you think he'd come round to the idea if you bought a puppy home. My dh is a stubborn so and so, and I was 100% sure I was doing the right thing for both of us, even though he couldn't see that at the time

Kittens are a lot easier than puppies, and tbh I don't think I would've done the same with a puppy as they are so much more a member of the family iykwim? DH was on board before we got both of our pups, and it was hard work at the beginning so it took both of us to handle it...

There are arguments for and against what you're thinking of doing, but only you know your dh, and if you really feel that it's the right thing to do, then maybe you should. You have to be sure though!
Good luck!