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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect MIL to NOT read my family calendar?

38 replies

WednesdaysChild · 26/07/2009 16:24

She came round with FIL then under the pretence of checking which day a family birthday will fall on (it was only 4 days away FGS!) she pulled out my family calendar and stood reading it! Felt a bit

I do not have the most fascinating life to warrant that kind of interest but I do have one or two personal entries on it, which is why it is not pinned up on the wall.

OP posts:
BadgersArse · 26/07/2009 16:24

if its out its to be read.

SlartyBartFast · 26/07/2009 16:25

did you have your free nights?

edam · 26/07/2009 16:26

As it's not pinned up on the wall, then your MIL was being extremely rude.

No idea how she could justify this even to herself!

TsarChasm · 26/07/2009 16:31

I think it's rude.

Just cos it's up on the wall, really just means it there for your ease of reference, not for general looking.

On a similar note, I also think it's rude to read cards that are up.

Original poster
WednesdaysChild · 26/07/2009 16:32

That's just it. It wasn't Out. It was face down and hidden behind a pile of other stuff.

Now wondering exactly what she was looking for? e.g., Dates when the postman stayed for coffee or the window cleaner visits or the milk man?

OP posts:
Original poster
WednesdaysChild · 26/07/2009 16:33

Slarty: They're all Free - I do nothing but SAHM stuff.

OP posts:
CloudDragon · 26/07/2009 16:38

if it were you mum would you have minded?

Or is it another MIL from hell scenario?

BadgersArse · 26/07/2009 16:45

nah
its a calendar
you write
" anal warts removal" on a day then you is stupid

Swedes · 26/07/2009 16:48

My MIL reads my credit card statement.

Original poster
WednesdaysChild · 26/07/2009 16:50

CD: My lovely mum passed away a few years ago now. I really do miss her but she certainly could be up there in the premier league of nosey mums AND YES I did frequently have a go at her for it which then usually resulted in her using even better stealth tactics for a while. Oooh she was really good at it too. She even managed to get a key to my house and use it during the day while I was out (for time to stay away from her DH). I only suspected when she even started using my washing powder too then I saw her arrive as I had just driven off... (Seriously! Not kidding here!)

Maybe it's because of this upbringing that I really just don't get what is so exciting about other people's mundane lives. And maybe this is why I really value some areas of privacy too.

OP posts:
belgo · 26/07/2009 16:51

I read my mil's family calender on the wall (so see when she's around, mostly I can't read her writing though). I also read the cards that are on the mantelpiece. If it's in a prominent place, I don't see the problem.

Original poster
WednesdaysChild · 26/07/2009 16:52

mmmmm... Now smiling at how many of you are beginning to wonder about why the kettle is warm when you get home...

OP posts:
CloudDragon · 26/07/2009 16:53

sorry about your Mum Wednesday

but about the sneaking in thing.

belgo · 26/07/2009 16:54

@ wednesday's child yes my mil has the key to my house, and I have the key to hers.

Original poster
WednesdaysChild · 26/07/2009 16:56

Again.... The calendar wasn't OUT, she had to move a Ship-Load of stuff to get it out to read it.

Really I am no saint. I admit that if I saw something pinned up on a wall with loads of big red writing all over it, then I would probably go and have a read, but then I would be very open about it.

She knew it wasn't quite right to read it so used an excuse of working out a birthday which was only days away. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
WednesdaysChild · 26/07/2009 16:58

Do I now want to start retaliation actions of equal measure?

Should I start commenting on MIL's overdue library books or the frequency of her visits to certain "Docs" & ask how she knows when the boats are due in and is it still profitable? lol

OP posts:
belgo · 26/07/2009 17:00

use google calender instead.

edam · 26/07/2009 17:05

Weds, buy a new calendar and write lots of entertaining things on it, such as 'STD clinic 10am Thurs' or 'MIL coming :-(' or 'dh to police station' or 'dh to lawyers - power of attorney re. MIL dementia' and pin it up just before she's due to arrive next time.

If she wants something to snoop at it's only right that you provide some entertainment!

edam · 26/07/2009 17:06

Oh, and make the final entry: 'Tell MIL I know she's been snooping...'

SlartyBartFast · 26/07/2009 17:09

good one edam

SlartyBartFast · 26/07/2009 17:10

perhaps you need a diary, or would she look at that as well.

moondog · 26/07/2009 17:12

Another example of strange assumption that others are fascinatedby your personal life.Believe me-they're not.

StealthPolarBear · 26/07/2009 17:14

I wouldn't read someone else's calendar, but mine is hanging up so I expct other people to glance at it (know the OP's wasn't).
I do read birthday cards etc that are on display - thought it was polite to show interest

Original poster
WednesdaysChild · 26/07/2009 17:18

Edam: LOVE the idea! God, you're good! Particularly the ones about DH and the final entry.

Diary not good idea for me, I needed calendar size so I couldn't misplace it and tend to avoid google type ones because I really only log on a few times per week. (For MN fix).

Should I add detailed notes on all visitors?.... 10:30am Male visitor, nice arse!

Problem is that, at the time, I tend to give her loads of benefit of the doubt that I really wouldn't have given my mum. Need to have some pre-prepared response for future reference.

OP posts:
belgo · 26/07/2009 17:20

Stealth - I agree - looking at birthiday cards is showing a polite interest, had no idea some people would consider it rude.