AIBU to want to take my degree certificate to the bank?

[DrTrillianAstra]

And make them change all my details to Dr Trillian?

(not Dr Trillian of course, actually Dr Realname, but you know what I mean )

Or is it too unbelievably poncey?

yes - he did tell the policeman 'I'm not that kind of doctor', as did my mum (who was in the car with him!). Made no difference.

I am Dr BoffinMum in RL (different name of course). I don't really use Mrs as a title, 'cos that's a bit sexist IMO. I like being gender neutral.

Once I bought a John Lewis fridge freezer that broke down and ruined my food. So I rang the helpline to claim on the special insurance. The woman on the other end of the phone said "I have to speak to your husband about this as he is the policy holder".

This baffled me as I thought I was the one who had actually bought and paid for the fridge, but after a bit of a ding dong with the woman, which got me nowhere, I eventually contacted DH at work (where he was very busy and could ahve done without this) and asked him to speak to them, which he reluctantly did.

Later on after checking the original paperwork, we both realised that the fridge was indeed purchased in the name of Dr BoffinMum and they would have no way of knowing I was married. We puzzled about this before realisation dawned on us. In fact the lady had assumed that as it said "Dr" on the details, it must have been a bloke!!! And I was the little woman in her mind!!!

Moi, a little wifey?????

PS I made the snobby and insufferably patronising head teacher at the DC's school formally change their records, so the school post came addressed to us as Mr and Dr. Oh, the feeling of satisfaction!

oh fair enough ~maybe because he just thought they were reasonable,normal people [and honest]then?
mind you,once he'd let your dad off,he couldn't really say"Oh,not a medical Dr,a PhD eh?then you're copped..."could he?

Yeeees - I had a parent correct me when I called him 'Mr'. I'd phoned to talk about his son's behaviour. I can't say I felt particularly put in my place, but it probably made him feel better...

My GP mum was Mrs outside of work situations (but she used Dr MaidenName and Mrs MarriedName). For about ten years before he retired my consultant Dad had an MD, so could be addressed as Mr or Dr, then he got a professorship about five years before retiring, and found that that really got him upgrades etc!

YANBU to want to change it - you worked hard for that title. You might want a 'bedding-in' period before you change though, just to get used to it and see if you feel comfortable!

Ooh well done Dr Trillian. Of course you should use it - you've earnt it!

I promise to tug my forelock whenever we meet

(assuming we ever meet in RL and as long as you tell me who you are and have figured out who I am - which seems unlikely, but just in case )

I'm with TFM on this still.
If dp ever considers it a blunt heavy object will be applied to his head at speed, by myself.

Yes it's an incredible achievement which you should be proud of,but I really don't see the need to use it outside of a professional context.

When I worked in a customer service job I spoke on the phone to a disproportionate number of doctors and it certainly didn't make me treat them differently, though it did earn them an eyeroll when they insisted upon doctor.

I say use it, it's bloomin hard work doing a PhD, esp with a family, so you may as well get any payoffs that you can.
My DP finished his PhD last year and never uses Dr, he thinks it's very poncey. His mum desperately thinks he should use it, she wanted him to be a 'proper' doctor so this is the next best thing.

very poncey but not U.

In formal terms do you now say Mr and Dr Trillian? That is quite cool.

i think that formally you say Mr James and Dr Trillian Astra

assuming they share a surname

otherwise Mr James Smith and Dr Trillian Astra

or Drs James and Trillian Astra if they both use Dr

but i am not Debrettes

i woudl like to moan and say its EXTREMELY annoying that others mostly assume that the one with the dr title must be my DH

so they arrive at the door with a parcel addressed to Dr J Brown and tell me

" I have a package for your husband"

no actually you dont

i have only ONCE had a delivery person ask me " which one of you is the doctor? "

i think its ok but I do know of someone who uses it on letters to school etc

nob

actually I believe Dr comes first so it is Dr T & Mr J Astra.

well if I had one I'd use it
BoffinMum, oooh that's annoying, I was hoping you were going to say you'd realised on the phone and put her right but it wasn't till afterwards I hope you gave her a piece of your mind!

Just as an aside, you know that puzzle:

A man and his son are in a car accident. The man dies immediately but the son is rushed to hospital, critically ill. The chief surgeon comes in to operate and says "I can't do this operation, he's my son" - explain?

Not only did DH get it without thinking about it, he didn't even understand what was 'puzzling' about it! And this was when he was 17

Stealth - I've heard that one too, it doesn't really work any more, does it? Not on anyone younger than our parents' generation anyway.

Grr on your behalf BoffinMum!

I am only poncing about because I had graduation this weekend, which is a big ponce-fest with gowns and hoods and Latin

I use it. I do find it helps with getting better rooms at hotels, etc.
When I arrived in Oxford last month, the hotel receptionist was surprised to see I was a female. She told me that I had been upgraded to a better room because the single room that the university had booked 'had a very small bed for a man'. The assumption of course being that I had to be a man with Dr in my name.

Tis annoying, but enjoy the benefits!

Never noticed that it helps in hotels. It definitley helps when I go to hospital though. I am not a medical Dr but I do know about biochemistry and that usually causes a right panic when I ask a biochemical question.

I have a friend who is Lady xxx xxxx.

She only got her title by marriage and never uses it except booking a restaurant in London. Works every time. She even has a special credit card with her title on to only book restaurants with. All her others are just plain Mrs xxx xxxx.

you DO have to take your certificate to the bank. I use mine in the bank, but for the rest i use Ms.

Congratulations on the PhD, hard hard work and grindingly hard work at end when you're writing up.

I changed mine because my female PhD supervisor said it made people nicer to you in the bank. She was right. Nicer to you at airport check-in desks too.

Given all the female MN Drs who appear to have been mistaken for a male Dr I think you owe it to womankind to confuse the bigots a bit more!

Far toooooooo many to read everything.

Do it becasue it is you, so yanbu.

And isn't it like getting married? You can change to a Mrs so why not a Dr?

yes, can all the female Drs please use it a bit more - I am shocked by the assumptions that are made!

well the co-op loyalty card lets you pick from a whole host of titles. I am Rabbi Branflake, DP is wing commander!

hell use it you earned it!well done

unless you are ahem "Dr" gillian mckeith or to give her actual correct title gillian mckeith

dont know why some of you are getting your drawers in a twist about medical doctor,it isnt a competition.but Dr is widely understood to be a medical practitioner too.in fact Dr is not a protected title in fact any one can call themselves Dr as long as they dont try mislead that they are a medical doctor

hence ahem "Dr" McKeith was asked to remove as it was misleading and alluded to medical doctor

You have earned it, so use it! Well done.