Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Alright luv? This isn't OK, is it?

137 replies

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy · 16/07/2009 12:16

Need the mumsnet jury on this one - just to confirm that DP and I are right and his friend is wrong

DPs friend is a plumber, hes a lovely guy if a little OTT and hypercheerful, he always makes me smile. Thing is, he has this awful habit of calling women "luv" in the total stereotypical way that completely puts my back up. I forgive him because i know he doesn't mean anything by it and its just his way. But he has had problems with clients - why can't he understand that women really dont want to be called luv. It sounds condescending and patronising. Its ok coming from the old lady in the cake shop, but not from the plumber who is supposed to be entering into a professional contract and doing work in your house.

He says why should he change, its just his way - he is very "cor blimey ows yer father" and i do find it quite endearing, however the love thing does make my hackles rise.

Would it be a deal breaker for you if you needed work done in your home and the tradesman was "alright luv, dont worry about it, i'll sort if for ya" even if he is Mr lovely Smiley plumber? My DP is a carpenter and occasionally this guy has done some work for DP and vice verse and DP has had to tell him"for christ sake don't call her luv"

Your considerations?

OP posts:
Nancy66 · 16/07/2009 18:01

Jesus Christ - who cares? Wouldn't give it a second thought.

Luv is fine - it's not 'sugar tits' is it?

MommyHasaHeadache · 16/07/2009 18:13

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Morloth · 16/07/2009 18:16

I call everyone "Luv", so wouldn't bother me at all.

lou33 · 16/07/2009 18:19

i call people love a lot, it would only bother me if i didn't like them

Catitainahatita · 16/07/2009 18:28

Ah yes the delights of northernisms!
I am from the NW and can say that it is perfectly acceptable to call any male or female "cock", "love" and "chuck" ("Chuckie-egg" for children).
In fact this is the bit of northern life that makes me most nostalgic now I lives thousands of miles away (that and barm cakes, black pudding and pies....)

TheProfiteroleThief · 16/07/2009 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 16/07/2009 18:34

Doesn't bother me either.

Nor does darlin', duck, pet, petal, or any of the many other things I have been called by workmen. they're not coming onto you or anything! It's harmless.

I don't feel patronised by it because I know that the sentiment behind it is one of innocent friendliness.

babyball · 16/07/2009 18:35

Luv is fine IMO. Just like saying "mate". Could be like my grandad who calls everyone "cocker"

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 16/07/2009 18:36

As long as he turned up on time, did a good job and didn't charge the earth I wouldn't care what he called me. Seriously, a good tradesman is worth his weight in gold.

babyball · 16/07/2009 18:38

In Notts everyone gets called "me duck" even men! Don't think this is a Southern "snobby" thing either. It's common in the North and South. My family are frpm London and use "love", "cocker", "darling" all the time.

babyball · 16/07/2009 18:39

diedandgonetodevon - "He would get an imperious 'I am not your love' from me and sent on his way I'm afraid. Personally I cannot bear over familiarity from anyone and certainly not from tradesmen."

Not sure if I like that attitude. Why esp. not from tradesmen?

Wanderingsheep · 16/07/2009 18:44

Wouldn't bother me! I am northern too. You get it all the time around here.

It only annoys me when girls, who are younger than I am, call me "love." I think I find that a bit patronising because I've always been used to my mum and my gran calling me "love." I

Wanderingsheep · 16/07/2009 18:47

My Auntie, who lived in Leicester, always used to call me Duck. I quite like that!

Nancy66 · 16/07/2009 18:49

i got called 'doll face' a lot in australia.

trafficwarden · 16/07/2009 19:25

I like it! Where I live just now there is a huge hierarchy/class/race thing so anything other than MamSir (all one word, covers everyone!) would be a relief.

HarleyQuinn · 16/07/2009 19:33

I dont mind it,

My Cornish grandad, used to call me "maid" or "Cheel"

My great grandad who was from Plymouth used to call me "my lover"

Bumperslucious · 16/07/2009 20:26

Custy

'wouldn't bother me

i really hate mate from a man to me.

darlin', luv, chuck, fine

mate gets on my tits.'

I was about to post the same thing. DH calls his mum mate , tried it with me once and I said 'I am not your mate I am your girlfriend'.

I say 'darl' but only to people I know.

canttouchthis · 16/07/2009 20:30

'how you doing , DOLL'? that's worse so YABU - I could cope with 'luv'. that's nothing!!

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 16/07/2009 20:39

luv is fine. As is duck which is very common around here.

Just don't call me 'hun'.

Caz10 · 16/07/2009 21:00

i really really fancied a boy from Bristol years ago and he once called me "my lover", I nearly squealed and fainted . Eventually figured out he was a bit of an old sweetie wife and called everyone that!

AlsoStruggling · 16/07/2009 21:14

Unless the fella was leery and suggestive (which he sounds like he isn't) I would not give a damn. I think its a bit 'pole up yer arse' to be bothered by his friendly vernacular

I didn't like it when the gardener said "Thanks, babe" earlier when I took him some coffee. It sounded vaguely post-coital (shudder). I let it go though...

GodzillasBumcheek · 16/07/2009 21:22

It always depends who from.

Quite expected from plumbers/electricians etc, but if it's from someone i don't like, or random strangers (ESPECIALLY the lad who is begging for change in the street when i know he is buying booze with it), i hate hate HATE it!

And also sweet'art. I am not your sweetheart, i never will be your sweetheart, if you were the last man on earth I would KILL myself rather than being your fecking sweetheart!

Overmydeadbody · 16/07/2009 21:26

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

It is just his way.

KittyBigglesworth · 17/07/2009 01:17

I don't really like being called 'luv'
Men don't get called 'luv'.

Parsley3 and custardo, I've also been called 'mate' too. It's usually guys in their twenties who do it, isn't it? Or at least it has been when I've been called it. At first I thought "Hmm, why is he calling me mate?" I wasn't sure what to make of it. How can I possibly look geezerish?

On reflection, I much prefer to be called 'mate' if I have to be rather than 'luv' The word 'luv' just has a 'you just stand there and look pretty' Phil Mitchell-like connotation for me. It's probably quite harmless though.

When I'm happily giving him cups of tea and signing the cheque, 'mate' will suffice, 'Mrs B' or 'Kitty' is what I'd prefer to be called.
It's not a deal breaker though, it's more important that he completes the job fast and it lasts well.

Love the 'twinkle' comment!

Pennybubbly · 17/07/2009 04:14

Completely fine by me (another Yorkshire girl joins the club).
I think it kind of goes with the territory (without wanting to stereotype) - I'd expect the lady in the fish-and-chip shop, bloke in the newspaper shop, plumber to say luv, flower, petal etc.
The dentist, the doctor, a gynaecolgist, perhaps not...
Mate is fine too, though it's not got that antiquated feel that "luv" has.
(makes mental note to call a few people "luv" today and wonders how many Japanese colleagues she will startle in doing so.... "rub? ah, PennyBubbly-san, I am afraid I do not understand your meaning...")