Alright luv? This isn't OK, is it?

[imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy]

Need the mumsnet jury on this one - just to confirm that DP and I are right and his friend is wrong

DPs friend is a plumber, hes a lovely guy if a little OTT and hypercheerful, he always makes me smile. Thing is, he has this awful habit of calling women "luv" in the total stereotypical way that completely puts my back up. I forgive him because i know he doesn't mean anything by it and its just his way. But he has had problems with clients - why can't he understand that women really dont want to be called luv. It sounds condescending and patronising. Its ok coming from the old lady in the cake shop, but not from the plumber who is supposed to be entering into a professional contract and doing work in your house.

He says why should he change, its just his way - he is very "cor blimey ows yer father" and i do find it quite endearing, however the love thing does make my hackles rise.

Would it be a deal breaker for you if you needed work done in your home and the tradesman was "alright luv, dont worry about it, i'll sort if for ya" even if he is Mr lovely Smiley plumber? My DP is a carpenter and occasionally this guy has done some work for DP and vice verse and DP has had to tell him"for christ sake don't call her luv"

Your considerations?

Depends who's saying it and how it's said. Last week a really helpful male assistant offering help in a camping shop said to me,"Alright mate?" to me,which I thought was lovely...then I wondered if he thought I looked like a man!

I agree Bamboo, it is awful.

Sir is so much more dignified (as per bloody usual) than madam.

Unless he prefixed it with 'want yer plumbing sorted out?' or 'I could flush yer tubes out' or 'want to see me plunger?'

LOL

i wouldn't object to M'lady though

Every tradesman I have had has called me love it doesn't bother me at all.

I like "mate" makes me feel like one of the lads.

I work in a male dominated environment and nice to sometimes fit in.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Good plumbers are hard to come by anyway so not using one because he called me 'luv' would be daft.

It always strikes me as a bit odd and quaint in a way because guys wouldn't be able to get away with it in my line of work but I don't really have a problem with it (unless done in a sleezy or arrogant kind of way).

stickylittlefinger- I have never, ever heard anyone in Devon say "my lover" as anything other than a joke.

snice, the more discerning of us do not wish the hallowed pages of the Daily Mail to be soiled by the boots of a mere tradesman.

Therefore the tradesmen are expected to wait outside the back door, and if the help has time after polishing the taps she may allow them some refreshment. She has been instructed not to give them cups and saucers as I understand that those sort of people don't know how to use them, and have a tendency to drink from the saucers.

Personally I find that if you get your staff to deal with tradesmen you will never have the problem of whether they are addressing you with enough respect - they won't get the chance.

Unless he was a tosser it wouldn't bother me.

If he was a good plumber I wouldn't have thought anyone would care at all!!!

I wouldn't care anyway. Not as nice as m'ducks though which is the east mids equivalent. I like being 'hen' in Glasgow too.

WOuld you prefer him to call you snooty cow?

Get over it, what matters is he is a nice, cheerful chap who is reliable and good at his trade.

A bit off-topic here, but if "madam" seems to be so frowned upon, what's the alternative given a polite and formal setting, such as a waiter in an up-market restaurant?

My lover, is bristolian isn't it?

This bloke seems insensitive to other people's feelings - even his mate's - who sounds a little bit worried about losing business.

Who knows whether that's because he has a childlike blindness to social signals or is a just a bloodyminded git?

If calling people 'luv' is so important to him then he won't mind losing the business of the customers it pisses off.

And he could clean up with ladies who love being called 'luv' or who hate it but whose toilet has just exploded.

It's an interesting experiment in these financially-challenging times.

If he had a good attitude and did a good job, I wouldn't m ind.

Might put people off at first.

Round here, you get called 'pal' and that just sounds daft to me. Alright pal

Diedandgoneto Devon really?

Well, you mustn't mix with the people I grew up with! I spent the first 18 years of my life being addressed as my lover, by teachers, people in shops, tradespeople, friends of my parents - anyone who either didn't know or couldn't quite remember my name, in short... How you've managed to avoid all this I'm not sure, but perhaps there's been a seismic shift in speech patterns - or perhaps people just guessed you wouldn't like it. Sounds like they would have been right, so perhaps the most likely explanation.

tell you what tho, the first time we went to Nottingham and a 6 foot taxi driver addressed my 6 foot dp as "duck" - with no apparent sense of irony - had me holding my sides as soon as we were round the corner. Just brilliant!!

Quite like being called "luv", nice and cheerful.

TBH I couldn't care less what a plumber calls me so long as he is good at his job and he doesn't take the piss price wise.

I had a bloke doing my garden once who kept telling me how lovely I was and that my DH didn't know how lucky he was. All said with a creepy little grin.

Now, that I found objectionable.

A cheery greeting I can live with!

Evidently not .
People in the village know me well enough to remember my first name, those who don't call me Lady M.