Alright luv? This isn't OK, is it?

[imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy]

Need the mumsnet jury on this one - just to confirm that DP and I are right and his friend is wrong

DPs friend is a plumber, hes a lovely guy if a little OTT and hypercheerful, he always makes me smile. Thing is, he has this awful habit of calling women "luv" in the total stereotypical way that completely puts my back up. I forgive him because i know he doesn't mean anything by it and its just his way. But he has had problems with clients - why can't he understand that women really dont want to be called luv. It sounds condescending and patronising. Its ok coming from the old lady in the cake shop, but not from the plumber who is supposed to be entering into a professional contract and doing work in your house.

He says why should he change, its just his way - he is very "cor blimey ows yer father" and i do find it quite endearing, however the love thing does make my hackles rise.

Would it be a deal breaker for you if you needed work done in your home and the tradesman was "alright luv, dont worry about it, i'll sort if for ya" even if he is Mr lovely Smiley plumber? My DP is a carpenter and occasionally this guy has done some work for DP and vice verse and DP has had to tell him"for christ sake don't call her luv"

Your considerations?

Balloon Slayer, my DP is very proud to call himself a tradesman .

I don't have a problem with "luv" but i do think it is a tad unprofessional, thats all. I thought more peole would dislike it actually but as you rightly say, its a term of endearment. I guess its always something I have used condescendingkly "now look ere luv" that sort of thing.

I did get called "me lovver" when i was in devon - it made me grin from ear to ear, i bet the woman though i was barking.

It's all in the delivery. Usually doesn't bother me in the slightest. I enjoy some of the regional ones - "duck" in the Midlands, "dab" in Wales. In Devon I have heard lots of "my bay" and "my bird" but probably only one or two "luvvers."

I have been called "love" by a male colleague who I was auditing in an attempt to undermine me & goad me into objecting. So I called him "twinkle" and he stopped. That was fun

The man who did heavy work for our old builder called me 'doll'. It made me feel like a young woman in the swinging sixties!

It used to bother me when I was a Milly-Tant teenager, as did wolf whistles.

Now I'm rather more grateful for any affectionate attention I get from men so think it would be churlish to complain.

Imaynotbeperfect . . . yes I know that people do call themselves that, but it seems patronising, even contemptuous, for the customers to do so. It sounds like they have got the word on the end of a barge pole.

What's wrong with plumber, carpenter etc?

Gentlydoesit - that is absolute class! You don't mind if I borrow that?

Wouldn't bother me at all. Once waiting for a taxi I overheard someone rollicking a cab driver for being over familiar and calling her sweetheart. I thought, what?? Get over yourself lady!

If it's friendly, not lecherous, it's a fair expression.

Stickylittlefingers, please twinkle to your heart's content.

As someone who grew up in an area of Scotland where everyone gets called "hen" I don't mind Luv at all. Inf act the only cheery bus driver on the route I travel to work calls all the women luv. As does the postman who delivers to numbers 1-6 in my street. Numbers 7-14 and 15-21 get miserable old beggars doing ours

I cannot imagine why anyone would have a problem with this. It's very common where I live (Yorks) and I don't even think twice about it.

All the best plumbers say "Nie problemowy, Kochany."

He could call me anything he liked as long as it wasn't an insult. Mind you as a northerner it's pretty much the norm.

Woman in the corner shop hollers 'see ya cock' when you leave (er, no you can't cos I'm a laydee ).

Would you prefer her called you ma'am or missus while twirling his cap in his nads and looking at the floor (joking!!!)

GentlyDoesIt - ta love

stickylittlefingers - yw, chutchie face!

oh for goodness sake I have heard it all now.

First I find out that DD calling my mum "nanna" is the epitome of bad taste and then I find out that some people object to using a perfectly good plumber (when they are so hard to come by) because he might have the temerity to call her "luv".

Gentle - twinkle is priceless.

I don't mind it-it shows which part of the country you are in from 'my luvver' in Cornwall to 'pet'in the NE. I prefer it to 'madam'-which can sound quite rude, depending upon how it is said.

I should imagine the only people who are offended by being called luv are the ones that don't get called it ever very often. Probably because they have a face like this

Oh I like "hen". I used to work with a couple of Glaswegians and I do miss "you alright hen?"

I would PMSL if someone called me madam.

Funnily enough, it hasn't happened yet

yeah, we had Duck, too.
i don't mind if he's a cheeky-type anyway; it's if it's forced and slimy i'd take offence.

i suppose he needs to learn how to judge who would and wouldn't be happy with it when he starts.

agree with ineedacleaner ; i hate madam!

I had a spotty 15 year old in the garage say it to me yesterday and it made me feel a bit sick - I don't really like it much anyway but I suppose if the guy is nice on the whole then it would be ok.

lol balloon slayer, i prefer the term craftsman myself. DP uses it because he has a "trade" he is a qualified carpenter and that is his trade. He feels it sets him apart from the other oiks!! I should imagine those using it contemptuously have been watching too much "upstairs downstairs"

Hm....don't most workmen use that phrase...wouldn't bother me...tbh....

not a problem with me, he is just being friendly

so the general consesus is that it is fine.