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Original poster

For being Judgy McJudgersons about THIS:

183 replies

Scorpette · 14/07/2009 23:25

Okay, before I start, I'd like to point out that I am NOT a troll and what I'm about to write really did happen - I didn't step into a parallel Jeremy Kyle Universe!

I was on the bus this morning and 3 teen girls got on, one of them heavily pregnant. The pregnant one sat next to me, her friends on the seat in front and they were chatting loudly and animatedly - the front half of the bus could hear every word. The pregnant one (who I'll call pg-girl) was continuing a conversation the the other two and was fuming about a Doctor's appointment and said: "So I said to him, how was I supposed to know you can get an STI when you're up the duff? You don't need to use condoms if you're pregnant do you, the stupid twat. And he said that you do if you wanted to prevent STIs and I was like, yeah whatever - why would you use condoms? You can't get pregnant! Anyway, he then told me it could cause problems for the baby and when it's born, yeah, so I said, well I'll just have one of those Sumerian* Sections then and he was all like, we don't just give them out willy-nilly and I was like, whatever, and he gave me these tablets and shit, yeah, and said if I was going to shag someone then I have to make the guy use condoms!'. 'Ew!', said one of her pals, 'that is well rank, innit?!'. 'Yeah' said pg-girl,' that ain't happening - well embarassing to ask some random to use a johnny when you just want a quick shag!'. 'Anyway', says the other girl, 'forget about that shit - we're on holidays now, innit'. She then got 3 bottles of WKD out of her bag and all 3 sat and drank them. I was and biting my tongue. Pg-girl then got a tin out of her bag and started rolling a roll-up fag, which she put behind her ear. An old man sat opposite leaned over and said 'You can't smoke on the bus, young lady'. She then yelled at him, 'AM I smoking on the bus, cunt? NO! I'm gunna smoke it when I get off, so fuck you!'. The old man said, 'Well you shouldn't be smoking at all in your condition, Miss' and pg-girl started shouting 'What's it to you? Why do you care about my baby? Are you a fucking Paedo? Paedo! PAEDO!' and all 3 girls started pointing at the old guy and yelling 'PAEDO!' at him. The bus driver pulled over and threw the girls off, amidst much swearing. As he did so, a middle-aged woman shouted 'He's not a paedophile for caring more about your unborn child than you do, you nasty little slut!'. Not exactly a nice thing to shout, but must confess I secretly agreed.

I swear I've not exaggerated any of this. Am I being snooty or judgemental at being utterly shocked and disgusted? I just can't believe people live their lives like that. Feel so sorry for that child before it's even born!

*Yes, she really said 'Sumerian Section'. Is it some sort of ancient middle eastern operation?

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 15/07/2009 17:36

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MorrisZapp · 15/07/2009 17:39

I heard a teenage girl goading her pal into phoning a boy she liked, and the girl was all like 'noooooo, I don't want to' etc etc then eventually she said 'I'll phone him when I'm driving, that way I'll no be as embarrassed cause I won't be paying the phone as much attention'.

I had to bite my tongue big time.

FairLadyRantALot · 15/07/2009 17:42

Think it would be difficult NOT to judge on this...
those girls sound like the kind I see here a lot...

Poor Baby....but I suppose also poor girl....I mean, she must have been dragged up rather than being brought up...

Poor Gentleman though, I bet he was mortified....

MummyPenguin · 15/07/2009 17:43

All I can say, on having only read the OP, is that poor baby

nappyaddict · 15/07/2009 17:56

I'm a bit disturbed that she would be shagging randoms whilst pregnant tbh

sfxmum · 15/07/2009 17:57

sounds believable to me
I have said before my sister was doing her placement in a maternity ward a few years back and there was a girl who had given birth the day before, she was swearing at the baby
'effing shut up' 'you were not suppose to be here now' 'it is my effing birthday' and ' and 'I want to effing get out of here' on and on
social services were involved but the vitriol aimed at the baby and anyone else who tried to intervene was shocking

someone said about sex ed, it is not about sex ed it is about the very bad/ lack of parenting she had which will go on to the next generation

chegirl · 15/07/2009 18:06

Horrible story and I do believe it because I live in E17 and have not had a sheltered life (dammit).

But I do agree with pp who suggested there may have been a bit of fronting up going on. That pg one may be really scared about having that baby, bullied into having casual sex and not able to articulate any of it. Showing fear, questioning social norms and asking for help doesnt go down big round here.

Being vile and aggressive is a default setting for lots of kids in this area. Its like they dont know any other way to behave.

Her kid may live a nightmare life. I think its more likely it will live an ok one that we wouldnt want to share or give our kids, but 'ok' nevertheless.

Sad though. My neice is like the kids on the bus. If I described the things she said and did whilst pg and after (whilst being assessed to keep baby) you would think I was making it up too .

Original poster
Scorpette · 15/07/2009 18:11

@donttrythisathome - you're being v Judgey McJudgersons yourself re: our car. We use it less than 20 times A YEAR and walk/cycle/use public transport the rest of the time; I can't even drive - it's DP's car. And the engine was off as we were stuck in a massive jam (like I said). We're pretty eco-keen but we don't try and force it on anyone else.

I've noticed a lot of kids/teens calling adults paedos over the most random things - I think it's become an 'in' insult that they know will get a reaction; I don't think they entirely know what they're saying and what the consequences could be. A young mum called me one in Primark last year when I helped her lost child find her.

I think I notice all these appalling examples of pregnant women/girls and mums because I am 36 and TTC - it's like some previously non-existent part of my brain has opened up... and it's like a Daily Mail editorial tut-tutting at teens getting knocked up willy-nilly (if you pardon the expression) and being irresponsible whilst women over 35 are desperate for a child to dote on but may have TTC despair! An age-old complaint, but always salient...

PS How come I miss all the gimpsuit chat whilst I'm at the gym? Pah!

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 15/07/2009 18:27

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fircone · 15/07/2009 18:54

I was in the post office last week; long queue. There were these teenagers behind me with pushchairs. Another girl came up to them and said to one "Oh, you've got a baby. Is it Darren's?" "Nah, I think it's Nathan's." "Oh. Does he see it?" "Nah."

It was stereotypically amusing in a way, but also really really sad.

independiente · 15/07/2009 20:28

Oh god. It's depressing.
In the light of all this, I say judge away. Let's hear it for a more judgemental society (but not for calling people sluts - that's not helpful).
I am completely up for judging donttrythisat home for judging scorpette. I judge donttrythisathome to be hypocritical for calling scorpette hypocritical.
Confused? You will be.

donttrythisathome · 15/07/2009 20:35

scorpette I could fecking judge for Britain I could Just about different things that's all. Wasn't saying don't use a car, just pointing out that it wasn't only the mother you disapproved of was damaging the kids health, so was the fecking car!! I (at least DP anyway) has a car too - that wasn't my point. The point was- glasshouses and stones.

mrstimlovejoy · 15/07/2009 21:00

when i was in hospital after having a miscarriage a young girl next to me was in there because of some complications and all she was bothered about was having a cigarette in the end she just told the nurse to fuck off and then she went and never came back often wonder if the baby survived so sad

TheChilliMooseisOnTheLoose · 15/07/2009 21:16

That is an awful story, Mrstim.

scottishmummyofone · 15/07/2009 21:56

it was probably a bunch of clients I deal with that you saw.

Original poster
Scorpette · 15/07/2009 22:01

@donttrythisathome - still think blowing smoke into your baby's face is dodgier than being sat in a stationary car, but each to their own. I see your point and the worry over health and the environment is why we only use it when absolutely necessary, but people can't really avoid traffic pollution at a main road (it'd be present whether we'd been there or not) whereas you can choose not to half-choke your infant with your cig fumes...

@independiente - just to let you know, I don't judge you for judging donttrythisathome for judging me

@mrstim - my heart goes out to you. That story is the very definition of cruel irony. I can't begin to imagine how you felt

OP posts:
SkaterGrrrrl · 15/07/2009 23:00

The posters who dont believe this conversation clearly dont take the bus in big cities! I have heard similar plenty of times and I live in a nice leafy bit of London.

"but there doesn't seem to be a very good campaign about STIs and condoms any more".

I disagree. If you listen to radio stations like Kiss or Choice FM they have adverts for condoms every few minutes, talking honestly about STDs and pregnancy.

But I think it takes more than that - schools and parents need to step up too. The Dutch model works so well. (Unjudgemental sex education given in schools and by parents and young people on average have sex later and are less likely to regret it).

More broadly speaking our society in the UK is so fixated on women as sex objects that its little wonder the only way a young woman without education or career can feel valued, albeit temporarily, is by having sex.

SkaterGrrrrl · 15/07/2009 23:06

Oh and Scorpette, if you too are mid 30's and TTC come on over to the Gin Palace in the Conception folder.

Original poster
Scorpette · 15/07/2009 23:32

SkaterGrrrl - agree with everything you say about the Dutch model of sex ed (my brother lives in Amsterdam and his ex was a high school teacher, so know how good it is over there) AND how our society really sexualises young girls and women, hmmmph.

Will come over to the Gin Palace, ta. I don't drink, TTC or not, but will raise a glass of super-exciting water to any fellow 30+ TTCers!

OP posts:
skihorse · 16/07/2009 09:04

Skater & Scorpette As you know I live in NL and I'd agree with the sexualisation of UK teens. Now don't get me wrong, I see 13 year old girls at the bus-stop here who make me feel like a frumpy granny with no make-up on - these girls slap it on, big hair, good clothes BUT what differs is they have huge self-respect and self-esteem. Yes, they have sex in their teens, but it tends to be with ONE boy, with whom they are with for years. Not "randoms". Over here Dutch women rule the roost.

nappyaddict · 16/07/2009 10:23

Scorpette I'm in the midlands too and can easily believe this. Where abouts are you?

Original poster
Scorpette · 16/07/2009 10:24

nappyaddict Notts - what about you?

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 16/07/2009 10:28

Ah I'm West Midlands

Yurtgirl · 16/07/2009 10:29

Scorpette - I find this believable too

Very sad but definitely real

clemette · 16/07/2009 16:17

Ah - that's why it sounds so familiar. Notts here too.