For being Judgy McJudgersons about THIS:

[Scorpette]

Okay, before I start, I'd like to point out that I am NOT a troll and what I'm about to write really did happen - I didn't step into a parallel Jeremy Kyle Universe!

I was on the bus this morning and 3 teen girls got on, one of them heavily pregnant. The pregnant one sat next to me, her friends on the seat in front and they were chatting loudly and animatedly - the front half of the bus could hear every word. The pregnant one (who I'll call pg-girl) was continuing a conversation the the other two and was fuming about a Doctor's appointment and said: "So I said to him, how was I supposed to know you can get an STI when you're up the duff? You don't need to use condoms if you're pregnant do you, the stupid twat. And he said that you do if you wanted to prevent STIs and I was like, yeah whatever - why would you use condoms? You can't get pregnant! Anyway, he then told me it could cause problems for the baby and when it's born, yeah, so I said, well I'll just have one of those Sumerian* Sections then and he was all like, we don't just give them out willy-nilly and I was like, whatever, and he gave me these tablets and shit, yeah, and said if I was going to shag someone then I have to make the guy use condoms!'. 'Ew!', said one of her pals, 'that is well rank, innit?!'. 'Yeah' said pg-girl,' that ain't happening - well embarassing to ask some random to use a johnny when you just want a quick shag!'. 'Anyway', says the other girl, 'forget about that shit - we're on holidays now, innit'. She then got 3 bottles of WKD out of her bag and all 3 sat and drank them. I was and biting my tongue. Pg-girl then got a tin out of her bag and started rolling a roll-up fag, which she put behind her ear. An old man sat opposite leaned over and said 'You can't smoke on the bus, young lady'. She then yelled at him, 'AM I smoking on the bus, cunt? NO! I'm gunna smoke it when I get off, so fuck you!'. The old man said, 'Well you shouldn't be smoking at all in your condition, Miss' and pg-girl started shouting 'What's it to you? Why do you care about my baby? Are you a fucking Paedo? Paedo! PAEDO!' and all 3 girls started pointing at the old guy and yelling 'PAEDO!' at him. The bus driver pulled over and threw the girls off, amidst much swearing. As he did so, a middle-aged woman shouted 'He's not a paedophile for caring more about your unborn child than you do, you nasty little slut!'. Not exactly a nice thing to shout, but must confess I secretly agreed.

I swear I've not exaggerated any of this. Am I being snooty or judgemental at being utterly shocked and disgusted? I just can't believe people live their lives like that. Feel so sorry for that child before it's even born!

*Yes, she really said 'Sumerian Section'. Is it some sort of ancient middle eastern operation?

Good God. Sadly it's entirely believeable. Sometimes I wonder whether the pill should be part of the ingredients of all alcopops!

Someone said it sounded very Catherine Tate - but CT was absolutely spot on with "Lauren". In the first series at least, it got a bit weird towards the end.

Well, if it's made up, it's no stranger than the truth. I don't live in South London any longer (I moved out in 2007) but I heard conversations similar to this all the time on buses. And it made my heart sink. I've been on the receiving end of unprovoked verbal and physical attacks from such 'types' also.

When I get the bus now, it's all well-behaved old ladies.

I was in sainsburys a few years ago when i was pg and this thin, scrawny looking young girl was in the queue in front of me with her boyfriend who looked like he needed a good bath and a good meal also, bought 7 bottles of vodka, 5 bottles of cheap cider, 2 bottles of whisky and then produced one tiny jar of baby food.

When they'd gone, i told the woman behind the till that i wouldve had a hard job serving her, she said she did too but they were regulars and they buy the same "shopping" every week. She said she had only seen the baby once and he was filthy!

I swear to god, i went home and cried for an hour just thinking of a baby being brought up in that environment.

dear god. Frightening.

yes you are judging - but why the hell not!
And how can anyone NOT judge.
(I did laugh out loud at your story though, the writing was terrific!)
It's scary how passive and aggressive we have become in society, and that poor little baby has absolutely no chance in life.

Scorpette - I do believe you but agree with BOF that the way you wrote it was really entertaining.

Obviously distressing for you and terrible situation, sorry

oh, and YANBU for what it's worth

I find it totally believable too.

Sadly with the rates of teenage pregnancy as high as they are in this country, it is surely indicative that sex education isn't working for some children. If that is the case, it isn't really surprising that the message about condoms being needed to prevent STI's hasn't got through to some of them.

I agree that it is very sad for the baby. I wouldn't mind betting that the baby's grandparents (the girl's parents obviously) are very young themselves and this is just a pattern that is being perpetuated down the generations.

Very sad.

Just to put a different slant on it:

I used to behave fairly badly on buses, when in a pack. I think most teenagers do. Not that that excuses these girls' behaviour, but this girl may be a perfectly adequate mother when not in her coven.

On the plus side, seeing situations like this (and reading about them) makes us all feel so much better about our own failings, doesn't it? We can sit here, and think, well my life might be shite, but at least I'm not her.

Yay!

SLightly on a tangent, but at the weekend I went for a meal with my mother (who is in her 60's) and my 2 DS', aged 12 and 9.

As we were walking home from the restaurant, we passed a group of teenage girls and boys. I'd guess they were around 14. I was walking and chatting with my eldest DS. As we walked a bit further on, one of the girls shouted "Excuse Me" so I turned around, thinking that they wanted to know the time or that we'd dropped something and then all 4 girls came running up screaming at us. The ringleader was shouting "Tell your boy not to call my mate a fucking slag"

I honestly could not believe it. I tried to stay calm, but these girls were really aggressive and just screaming in my face..and in my Mum's! I told them that I'd been chatting with my son and he'd no such thing, but they just wouldn't let it go.
I stood my ground, but was pretty worried that they'd pull a knife or something. It was AWFUL.

YANBU - and quite frankly - if a few more of us (i.e., the general population) had the fucking guts to judge out loud then perhaps there would be fewer stupid little girls like this. It's all well and good having a "non-judgement culture" but look where it's got us!

I shared a hospital ward with someone like this when I had DS. She was constantly complaining to the staff because she couldn't smoke on the ward and had a drip so couldn't go outside to smoke either. A lad came to visit her and tried to light up (don't know if he was the dad...) She also said " I don't eat breakfast" and when the mw told her she needed to to recover her strength after the birth she started slagging her off. I'm not surprised by this story at all - though I am a bit shocked that they consider asking a boy to use a condom "embarrassing" and an abortion "dirty" - where they hell do they get that from? (While shagging all and sundry with no condom while pg isn't an issue... )

Sex education in this country is appalling. And I'm gobsmacked that whenever there are moves to improve it some people try to stop that. Idiots.

However re smoking, my (very senior, in publishing management) boss smoked while pg - I was v shocked when I saw her and had to rearrange my features.

When I was on the school bus we used to compete and see who could shock the other passengers the most. Perhaps (hopefully??!!) they were doing that.....please......

Scorpette - you have brought me the best laugh I have had all week! Not because of the content of your post - that is unutterably sad, and my heart goes out to that unborn baby - but your style of writing is just brilliant! I felt like I was right there on the bus with you, waiting in open-mouthed astonishment for the next development.
WhoIsAsking - shame. What a rotten thing to happen, especially with your elderly Mum there. I totally agree with Skihorse and her "non-judgemental culture" comments.

I am a bit of a 'wisecracker' in real life and write a humorous blog so I wrote in that sort of way - perhaps it might not have been the right way to recount it, but apart from the fact that writing it funnily stopped me feeling too upset/angry about them, the hilarious way they talked and acted was what made it so utterly appalling and shocking. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing and hearing - like I put at the start of the OP, it was like the bus has gone into 'Jeremy Kyle' world or something! The area we moved into last year is quite 'rough' - not being judgey about that, as we chose it for being really convenient for work, good local amenities, etc. and 90% of people we meet are lovely, but we (me & DP) do find ourselves more and more at the things we see and hear (people shagging late at night in bus stop outside the flat, man in queue in Tesco telling his small son to 'punch the fucking cunt then' when boy whined his friend wouldn't share at school, that sort of thing). We've witnessed similar scenarios to the one georgepig detailed far too often.

I take a 'you have to laugh or you'd cry' attitude to life...

YANBU, but hopefully maternal instinct will kick in and she'll break the cycle she's part of. I know girls like this, they smoked when pg, but when their babies were born they loved them and tried, really tried, even when they had hardly any support. Their real feelings inside were also hidden when their childless mates were around, they were still acting hard and screechy around them. This girl doesn't sound like she has parental guidance so could view her mates as family, IYSWIM, leading her to want to fit in regardless .

I live in The Netherlands and we've been looking at buying a house and we think we've found a small estate we like. I have been warned by my colleagues how ghastly the area is and how awful. OH is from Glasgow and I grew up in South-East London - our views of "bad area" are somewhat different to the Dutch. We drove past a "gyppo camp" and they had the most elaborate flower-beds I've seen in a while. This was the rough end of town. We see kids hanging around outside shops and I sort of brace for the insults - but it's all very "awight missus pattassun"! or "can I 'elp you wiv ur shoppin' missus pattassun?"

I just think its sad, and its not helpful to judge.

If you really care, push for better social services, less inequality, more support for mothers and childcare. Or become a mentor.

Also, I agree with several of the posters that teenage girls are 'mares in gangs, fine alone.

Lots of people (not just the "poor") drink and smoke in pregnancy. It might not be your choice, but it doesn't mean she won't love the child when it comes. And will probably spend an awful lot more time caring for it herself than some others.

I feel very sorry for that baby. I hope that the girl turns out to be a fab mother, it happens! Sometimes having a baby is the making of a girl like you described - I've seen it.

However, I have also seen it when that is not the case. And the life given to the child is not nice, not nice at all.

It's just so sad. And sadder that the attitude and way of life gets passed down the generations.

Where I live I see this sort of behaviour all the time. It is depressing and I honestly don't see things improving in my life time.

I am sure it isnt made up either as I have witnessed such scenes more than once on buses here (Edinburgh)

I judged so if YABU then IABU too

Well written, that did make me lol a bit

Hwoever I know if I'd have been there I probably would have exploded in a middle-aged fury at the use of bad language at a member of the public

I have been doing this a lot lately. DH says I am turning into an old lady and need some sort of cane so I can start hitting rude young men

I would love to have lived such a sheltered life that I thought it wasn't true TBH.

YANBU to judge, how can you not when all you can think about is that poor, poor baby being born in to that situation. I will just cling on to the scrap of hope, as somebody else said that once the baby arrives, maternal instinct and love kicks in.

The reason Catherine Tate et al are funny is because they reflect real life - so I have no problem in believing this is true.

Really sad and makes me fear for the future of this country.