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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DH could make dinner that I want to eat?

37 replies

LadyPinkofPinkerton · 11/07/2009 20:50

DH decided to barbecue tonight. All well and good I was looking forward to a burger.

DH buttered all the burger rolls. Despite us being together for 11 years, and him knowing all that time that I do not like butter on any kind of sandwich.

Who puts butter with a burger anyway? He thinks IABU because I can eat butter on toast. I think he is unreasonable to make something a way I do not like, especially since it is very easy not to.

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 11/07/2009 20:54

My DH is like this, although he has got a lot better recently after I got really stroppy about it one night (came home starving after heavy day where he'd agreed to cook, to find dinner was hastily thrown together spag bol. I don't eat red meat. We've been together 10 years. Grrrr).

I also hate butter, btw

TrinityRhino · 11/07/2009 20:55

everyone I know would put butter with a burger

I think yabu, just scrape it off

or is it because you think he should cae more about nyou than to have done it in the first place??
cause if so then its not about the burger and you need to talk

bruxeur · 11/07/2009 20:57

I think being a fussy eater once you're out of your teens is irritating and infantile. YABU.

famishedass · 11/07/2009 20:59

YANBU - my husband does this all the time. - what I don't understand is why ANYONE would prepare food for their partner in a way which they know they don't like? Why? Why would you do that?

PestoMonster · 11/07/2009 20:59

Butter with a burger? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Thast dustgusting!!

stainesmassif · 11/07/2009 21:00

yanbu, there is enough grease in burgers without adding butter. i never want butter on sandwiches, completely different to toast. he should definitely know that.

Original poster
LadyPinkofPinkerton · 11/07/2009 21:00

Trinity - yes I think it is more that he should care enough to make it the way I like it. Also don't really want him putting butter on the childrens either since it is unnecessary and just making the meal even more unhealthy than it already is.

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 11/07/2009 21:01

Infantile? To dislike some foods? What an odd assertion.

I agree with famishedass. When we have guests for dinner I always ask if there's anything they don't eat/really hate. You expect your partner of 10 years ot know your dislikes and cater for them, right? It's not a big ask.

famishedass · 11/07/2009 21:02

My dh always says the same thing

"I'm not a fussy eater"

No, he doesn't have to be fussy eater because I cook the way he likes it - it's really about being inconsiderate and not giving a shit about how the other person prefers things.

Original poster
LadyPinkofPinkerton · 11/07/2009 21:03

famishedass, your first post sums up entirely how I feel. I'm just why? why? why?

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 11/07/2009 21:06

butter in a burger is bloody weird!

and i totally agree. if you know someone doesn't like something then why do it???
it makes no sense

ConnieComplaint · 11/07/2009 21:08

DH & I had a standoff on this about three Saturday nights ago.

To be fair, he does the bulk of cooking in our house, but we were having veg stir fry, I had prepped the veg & left it for him as I had to take dd somewhere.

When I came home he had the meal almost ready, but I saw a huge jar of black bean sauce sitting. I told him to lift my veg out before he used the sauce as I didn't want it.... he continued to pour the sauce in, then wondered why I was in tears... God it sound so pathetic now, but I had told him, (I am slimming so don't want sauces high in fat etc..) he shrugged his shoulders & said, "Uch sure there's not that many calories in it, you can scrape it off your bit."

It would've been easier to not add it in the first place!!

He wasn't impressed when I said I would conveniently 'forget' that he hated cheese & mash it with the potatoes at Sunday dinner!!

Original poster
LadyPinkofPinkerton · 11/07/2009 21:08

After yelling speaking to DH about it, his reasoning is that because I can eat butter on toast it won't kill me to have it on my burger. He doesn't understand my reasoning as to why I shouldn't have to put up with it, surely I should be able to eat it the way I like it

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 11/07/2009 21:09

well ok, next time you make him a nice pudding chuck a load of marmite on it.

then turn round and say "well, you eat it on toast so you can eat it on your lemon tart"

NorbertDentressangle · 11/07/2009 21:10

eeeeww! you can't put butter on a burger roll!

Original poster
LadyPinkofPinkerton · 11/07/2009 21:12

thisisyesterday that is brilliant.

Connie I totally understand

OP posts:
Thunderduck · 11/07/2009 21:13

YANBU.If he'd simply forgotten then I'd have said YABU, but if he was aware at the time that you'd hate it, then he was being an ass.

Scaredycat3000 · 11/07/2009 21:17

Burger in buttered roll, wrong!
My partner knows I like my food plain and deliberately adds things to 'give it some flavour' even when it is only for me, even managed to ruin baked beans. He is so pleased with himself and thinks it's clever
Why oh why oh why

famishedass · 11/07/2009 21:18

LOL at thisisyesterday.

LadyPink, were there no unbuttered rolls left that you could have?

My bar steward of a husband puts mustard in my ham sandwich every time he makes me one. every time. I hate mustard and have been married for almost 20 years.

Original poster
LadyPinkofPinkerton · 11/07/2009 21:21

No he used all the rolls.

Famished I think you are never going to win if its been that long

OP posts:
famishedass · 11/07/2009 21:23

I fantasise about putting my hands around his throat and squeezing. Hard.

thisisyesterday · 11/07/2009 21:34

i wonder if they do it on purpose or if it's somne kind of inbuilt man stupidity.

cos thinking about it my mum and dad have been married for about 33 years and my dad still does things like put cinnamon in apple crumble whichg my mum hates

SoupDragon · 11/07/2009 21:39

Does he do it all the time if he makes you a sandwich?

rookiemater · 11/07/2009 21:41

YANBU. I returned a sandwich today because it had marg, the stuff makes me heave. I just asked for another piece of bread but they were really nice and brought me a new one. My own fault should have remembered to say something.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 11/07/2009 21:51

Oooh other people who can't stand this vile stuff! Butter/marg are utterly revolting. And I have tried so hard to get the hang of them. In cooking, fine, but not on bread. I think its the texture ...

YANBU I would be livid if DH did this. In fact maybe not livid maybe just really upset. I mean who butters all the rolls at a BBQ anyway? Isn't it up to the punters to choose what they want in their bap? Just plain weird.

DH doesn't like mushrooms and I love em, would never dream of dishing him some up and then giving it the when he turned them down...

As for infantile - everyone has stuff they don't like - and its utterly reasonable to expect loved ones to dish you up food which doesn't make you want to vomit on the spot - ie food which is actually edible to you.