Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish a 25 year cleaner would STOP giving me unasked for advice every minute?

34 replies

lowlandlady · 09/07/2009 17:34

She's coming temporarily to help me out of the pit of filth that the house has become since dd was born last year...
But I just don't want the constant advice and the patronising looks and the suggestions about everything!
Just clean please!!! I can patronise myself if I so wish! I don't to pay someone to patronise me least of all a youngun'!!!

It helps if I leave the room obviously....

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 09/07/2009 17:36

Is it her age or the fact that she is a cleaner than irks?

Or is it because she is, right????

paisleyleaf · 09/07/2009 17:37

Kim and Aggie would be patronising too
How long have you got her for?

allaboutme · 09/07/2009 17:40

sounds annoying that she's offering advice about all sorts instead of just getting on and cleaning
maybe she's feeling awkward if you are sitting in the same room she is cleaning though? and feels like she has to chit chat?

can you not go out somewhere and just leave her to get on and do it in peace?

Original poster
lowlandlady · 09/07/2009 17:59

It's only when I'm in the room sorting things out!
Yes it annoying that she's right about somethings but no I don't want to tell her what we're paying the bloke who's redoing the bathroom, and no I don't want her to colour my hair and I don't want to talk about when I'm going back to work, it just feels so invasive! I just don't want to talk about money constantly to some one I don't know that well!

I just want her to CLEAN please!

Well my m in law gave me enough for her to come for 4 weeks, it does make a difference, she cleans the kitchen floor properly and does the bathroom and the floors, I just never seem to clear enough time to do anything properly!

OP posts:
Original poster
lowlandlady · 09/07/2009 18:01

allaboutme, I don't sit in there for a chat!!!! NO!!!! It's just as I come and go I get the 3rd degree....... I've started saying "I can't remember"

OP posts:
blueshoes · 09/07/2009 18:10

If you cannot leave the house, just mn when she is in the room and grunt monosyllabic answers whilst glued to the screen.

Lizzylou · 09/07/2009 18:15

Oh, she does sound a pain, trying to be friendly but too much.

Make things up. Be outrageous in your lies and she may stop.

Frasersmum123 · 09/07/2009 18:19

I think YABU - she is obviously just trying to make conversation and you sound a bit snobby and a little rude.

modrin · 09/07/2009 18:31

i used to be a cleaner but totally blew it with one client just because i sniggered when she said her husband was good with his hands

limonchik · 09/07/2009 18:37

I think YABU - she's just trying to make conversation, it's probably awkward for her too!

Go out while she's there - easier for both of you.

sunfleurs · 09/07/2009 19:01

Why don't you tell her you "just want her to CLEAN please" instead of moaning about her on here.

Gawd I wish I had a cleaner. If I did I couldn't sit there watching her clean, I would have to go out. I just feel terribly embarrassed when people do things for me even if I am paying them.

MissSunny · 09/07/2009 20:16

Message withdrawn

bradsmissus · 09/07/2009 20:25

"Why don't you tell her you "just want her to CLEAN please" instead of moaning about her on here."

Isn't that what we all come on here for? To have a moan and get a few opinions?

coppola · 09/07/2009 20:27

ott to call the op a snob because she doesn't want somebody she is paying to do a job to ask her nosy questions about money amongst other wibblings.

MissSunny · 09/07/2009 20:36

Message withdrawn

ReneRusso · 09/07/2009 20:51

YANBU - sounds very annoying to me

GentlyDoingIt · 09/07/2009 21:05

YANBU. We used to have a mobile hairdresser who came round to do the family, I was never mad about her haircuts but she was a FOAF and I knew she needed the cash.

I had to stop making appointments with her though as I just couldn't stand her advice on every subject from complementary health, where to buy the best X, Y and Z, what to do with our garden, had I considered such and such a beauty product, etc etc - and worse still, the checking up at the next appointment my progress against this advice ("I see you've still got the lawn like that then" or "How are you getting on with that masacara I suggested?").

However most people spout advice because of the reassurance to be gained from adopting the role of authority (look at all of us on here doing it, for a start!)

coppola · 09/07/2009 21:17

no, you named her a snob, you didn't say she sounded a bit snobby. there's a difference, even on AIBU

Frasersmum123 · 09/07/2009 22:15

I said she was snobby because thats the way her thread title sounds, it sounds more like 'How dare my cleaner speak to me!'

Rollergirl1 · 09/07/2009 22:21

Would a snob describe her house as "a pit of filth"? I think not.

WesternBelle · 09/07/2009 22:24

Coppola. I think the OP sounds a bit snobby too, if she'd have put instead

"AIBU in that I don't want somebody I am paying to do a job to ask me nosy questions about money amongst other wibblings" (as per your interpretation not the title) then that does not sound as snobby as

"AIBU to wish a 25 year cleaner would STOP giving me unasked for advice every minute?"

The main differences being the inclusion of age and job title, neither of which are relevant as presume the OP would be as annoyed at a 58yo gardener as a 25yo cleaner.

coppola · 09/07/2009 22:40

Op come back!

Tell us, are you a terrible snob?

motherpi · 09/07/2009 22:41

Of course the job title was relevant. The whole point of the OP was that this is not a friend or a relative, and that is why it is inappropriate.

Why on earth would you describe your cleaner as "somebody I am paying to do a job"?

Bizarre.

ReneRusso · 09/07/2009 22:45

The age is a bit relevant I think - it is even worse to get unsolicited advice from someone younger than you. OP, I'm on your side.

ConnieComplaint · 09/07/2009 22:56

Gentlydoingit, what's a FOAF?

Swipe left for the next trending thread