To wish a 25 year cleaner would STOP giving me unasked for advice every minute?

[lowlandlady]

She's coming temporarily to help me out of the pit of filth that the house has become since dd was born last year...
But I just don't want the constant advice and the patronising looks and the suggestions about everything!
Just clean please!!! I can patronise myself if I so wish! I don't to pay someone to patronise me least of all a youngun'!!!

It helps if I leave the room obviously....

friend of the family?

I don't understand why you are discussing how she should have worded the thread title. Did you read the main body of text? Should she include the entire body of text in the subject? What are you suggesting? Why are you having a debate about how the OP sounds from her title thread when you can just read on?

It is nothing to do with being snobby - some people are just so pushy and never give up with their opinions and questions. It does become very invasive.
My dad had this problem. He worked from home and his cleaner would arrive and spend the whole time telling him all her problems. He had to resort to going out when she came.

FOAF = friend of a friend

lowlandlady, does this cleaner pick up hints?

My cleaner (same age as me but with far more children) gave me parenting advice along the lines of 'making a rod for my back' and 'don't spoil her'. Which I debated briefly and then gave a frosty smile whenever she raised the issue again. She stopped. And then nattered about other less controversial subjects.

Is she insensitive to your discomfort?

Is the house big enough to be in a different room / on a different floor to the one she's cleaning? Just say, I'll stay out of your way.

And practice the art of the raised eyebrow.

Her: Shall I colour your hair?
You: Err... no

Her: (inappropriate financial question)
You: Erm - that's sort of private...

Whoah! Just seen I kicked off a snobbery debate!

Well I may well be a snob but I'm not conscious of being so! Few of us are aware of are faults ime.

I've been very warm and friendly to her and I think she's taken that as a cue for immense familiarity and just too much doling out of her opinion.

And actually, fwiw, I'm over 40, she's very young (imo), I don't want her advice unless I ASK for it. It's as simple as that. I think she's a nice and able girl but she is not the person I turn to about my life decisions nor do I want her opinion about me. I just want her to come and do some paid work that's all.

I have that ill ease at being really blunt into someones face! But I totally get out of the room, she manages to ambush me as I move around, I will try to go out in future!

I think I would be the same about anyone giving advice. You know some one in your home saying "Why did you choose this kind of flooring for your kitchen?" just feels like I"m getting criticised.

No offence intended to anyone but her..... Maybe in Bulgaria it's socially acceptable to get right up in someone's face about their private lives!!!!

I have to say that culturally there is a bluntness going on that I just find really uncomfortable....
That's just my opinion!!!!

Actually, I'll tell you a little more about it! I stopped asking her to come because I just got so fed up of the noseyness. But I really needed her to come back (family coming to stay urgent cleaning needed) couldn't find anyone else so called her back and said "Oh I was saving money, that's why I didn't ring"

SO some of her attitude is Hump I suspect. But that makes it all WORSE. So yesterday she says "you definitely need a cleaner, (partronising nodding) this is NOT the place to save money! (patronising nodding and smiling) you can SEE you need cleaner ( mouth open, open arms looking askance around the house ).

{Pause while OP runs out of house under a bus......]