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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking that if you pick a name for your child, that's what you should call them.

139 replies

whiteKnightblacKstars · 07/07/2009 17:10

Have namechanged in case person i'm talking about is a member.

My SIL had a son and gave him a certain name - which can be shortened.

Since birth she has never called him by his full name and insists on calling him by this shortened version (which to me is nothing more than a nickname)
To all of her friends its really cool that her soon has this shortened name. And my DH reckons that she doesn't like the full name at all and that is why she uses the shortened one, and he also reckons that she does it to impress her friends with her 'cool' ways. (She named him after her and DH's Uncle who passed away while she was pregnant) DH reckoned that she only gave him the name to bring the family's focus back to her after the funeral.

AIBU to think that she should have named him something she intended to call him. I realise that its not really my place to say what she should be calling her son, but to me its just daft to give your child a name and then NEVER use it.

OP posts:
RenagadeMum · 07/07/2009 17:57

YABVU!!

Sorry, but I called my dd Elizabeth knowing that she may on date dislike the shortened version I used. For arguments sake let's say I call her Lily.
Personally, I don't even like the name Elizabeth and would never think to use it but thought it would be considerate to give her a choice.

Does that make me an awful person. Should I be flogged and dragged through the streets?
Perhaps, but not for the reason of calling my child what the hell I want. And provding they aren't calling it something obscene like Wank short for Walter then it is not really your business.

I have a shortened name, should I call myself my long (and rather yukky) name instead?

belgo · 07/07/2009 18:00

Renagademum - did you really call your dd a name that you don't like?

I'm trying to work out if this is more odd or less odd then calling a child a long name eg. Thomas and then getting annoyed every time someone calls him Tom.

TheFallenMadonna · 07/07/2009 18:00

Do you actually know that? Or are you surmising?

RenagadeMum · 07/07/2009 18:02

To tell the truth, I wouldn't be upset if she wanted to be Elizabeth. I much prefer the shortened version we have chosen. but thought that at least if she didn't like, say, Lily then she could call herself Lizzy or something.

This happened with our neighbour, one day I was babysitting Bethan, the next day she wanted to be Lizzie! Seemed to keep all of them happy.

mrswoolf · 07/07/2009 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
whiteKnightblacKstars · 07/07/2009 18:04

She has made it known to me and a small group of people I know when she was invited to a hen party and got quite tipsy.

I'm going to slink off now.

I never said it was wrong for people to give their DC long/short/completely different names or to only call them by a nickname. Whilst leaving them an option by 'officially' giving them another name. All I said was it wasn't my cup of tea and that I thought it was a bit daft to spend some/most of your pregnancy thinking up a name for ds/dd only to use a different name entirely.

As I said it was my opinion and I was looking for other people's opinions on this. And I got them

So thanks

OP posts:
Tamarto · 07/07/2009 18:07

So although this is what your DH reckons you were actually told it? lol it's one or the other gotta love the old AIBU by stealth.

sweetkitty · 07/07/2009 18:08

DD1 is Abigail but known as Abbie, she is Abigail on her birth certificate as her middle name also ends in -ie so didn't want two -ie names together, Abigail flows better and I love it. Her middle name was chosen as it is my Grans who sadly died just before she was born, TBH I couldn't give a rats arse what anyone thinks of her names, we love them thats all that matters.

I couldn't care less what other people call their children although I have been known to have a wee snort at Dolce and Gabbana or Chynnnnna-Lea.

serenity · 07/07/2009 18:08

Good grief, if DSs didn't have their 'formal' name along with their normal 'nicknames' I'd be stuffed. Need them to work with 'Voice Of Doom' when they're being a pita.

As soon as they hear their full names they know they're in trouble.

(YABVVVVVVVU)

TheArmadillo · 07/07/2009 18:09

Your OP reads as one not bemused or surprised by your SIL using a shortened form of official name but of someone full of vitriol towards SIL because of this act.

There had to be more to it or the only conclusion was that you were derranged.

That's why you've got strong opinions as responses.

piscesmoon · 07/07/2009 18:10

Lots of people do it and always have done. I am quite unusual in that I always call mine the full name-everyone else shortens them!

RenagadeMum · 07/07/2009 18:10

If it's any consolation, if it really is a wanky name then you probably aren't being unreasonable!!!

Any clues as to what is is? Is it as bad as a Stefani type name? I could get seriously judgy if it is bad enough.

WoTmania · 07/07/2009 18:10

YABU

BottySpottom · 07/07/2009 18:12

I think you need to get out more

Original poster
whiteKnightblacKstars · 07/07/2009 18:13

DH assumes this is the case, but I know because she told me. I have never let on to DH about her revelation, as I'm unsure about how he would react. He would be very upset, to say the least.

Its not AIBU by stealth. I never mentioned that I have issues with SIL until everyone said that I must, as I assumed as soon as I did, you would all reckon this is the reason I don't like her decisions regarding the name of her DS.

I said that DH had thought her reasons for calling her DS by a nickname, these were his own.

I never put in the fact that she told me she didn't like the name herself, as I wanted opinions on whether I was being unreasonable for thinking she was being daft by naming her DS one thing and calling him by another.

OP posts:
lockets · 07/07/2009 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Loshad · 07/07/2009 18:24

absolutely serenity - full names only used when any particular child in deep s*. white -i'm guessing this is your pfb and still under the age of 2?, come back in 5 years and tell us then you still only call your dc by their full name. Most people like nicknames/shortened names and see them as a form of affection.

Original poster
whiteKnightblacKstars · 07/07/2009 18:30

My son is 5, he is not a PFB. And his name is John, so it can't be shortened to anything.

OP posts:
RenagadeMum · 07/07/2009 18:32

Know a John who is a Jonty. So they longened it (is that a word!)
Also know a JonJon!! And a J.
All short/long for John. Ah, the havoc one can wreak on an innocent name....

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy · 07/07/2009 18:33

troll?

My BIL/SIL have a little girl, they couldnt really agree on the name, think she gets called two names - not the original one. Whats the big deal?

zeke · 07/07/2009 18:41

YABU

I agree, sounds like there are other issues going on here.

It is totally up to parents what they chose to name their child or whether they shorten it or not.

I have two friends who have named their sons Thomas, one calls her DS Tommy and the other Tom (they do still use Thomas, especially if naughty!). I hadn't given it a second thought, until now!

I teach at a secondary school and a good 90% of the Thomas, Christopher, Jacob, Joshua pupils ask me to refer to them by their shortened name.

rasputin · 07/07/2009 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

piscesmoon · 07/07/2009 19:03

My DS has a name that you can't shorten and all his friends call him something completely different-you can't win! You can't control your DCs name-it is unimportant.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 07/07/2009 19:08

Someone had better tell prince charles - wills and harry should be on the birth cert as that is what they get called. King wills anyone?

YAB ridiculous.

Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa · 07/07/2009 19:20

'I just don't see the point of having a choice.'

Really?

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