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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit judged?

56 replies

BettySwollux · 03/07/2009 22:30

DS2 is 22 months old. He is a 'runner'. I live in a smallish village where everybody knows each other's business.
If I go to the shop, I put DS in pushchair, as a) we would never get there, b)I have shopping to carry home, c) we are going somewhere else after, d) he is tired, e) he bloody legs it.
DH sometimes takes him for a stroll while I make tea/wash the floors etc (as do I when I have time) and we let him decide the route - within reason.

More often I am getting comments such as (directed to DS) "Ooh, you'll be too big for your pushchair soon, wont you?"
"Oh, I bet you'd rather walk wouldnt you?
"Daddy lets you walk doesnt he?"

DH took him to be weighed last week while I was on a course, lady () in shop said, "How lovely you have him out today, Betty never lets him out of the buggy"

DH gave her a look and said "how ridiculous, of course she does".

I have tried reins on him, which is ok as long as you want to walk round and round the mini bus parked up the street, but head somewhere he's not keen on and he sits down, same with hand holding, he wrenches hand from mine and takes off giggling.

I am so pissed off with it now, as I get it at least a few times a week.

I also have problems from SPD when I was pg, so seize up occasionally and cant run after him, and he is quite heavy to carry.

So........AIBU to have him in the buggy? Or is it none of their fecking business?

OP posts:
Spero · 03/07/2009 22:32

I did judge and tut at bit at pictures of Bryan mcFaddens children being prammed around Sydney (at ages 5 and 6!!) but 22 months sounds completely pram worthy, so I can't understand what they are fussing about.

So just ignore if you can, but i appreciate it must be infuriating.

Seuss · 03/07/2009 22:33

YANBU - my dd has just turned 4 and still goes in the buggy sometimes to take her brothers to school for the same reasons you've mentioned! Admittedly we do it less often now but it wouldn't have crossed my mind not to take it when she was 22mths!

2shoes · 03/07/2009 22:33

in my world(sn) I never judge little people in buggies
you could be really mean and tell them a sob story

Jojay · 03/07/2009 22:34

None of their fecking business

Iggi999 · 03/07/2009 22:35

YANBU. (well, as long as you also take him to the park sometimes!)
I always have DS in buggy for shops, then a trip to the park on way home if at all possible. You are forgetting, other people just LIVE to pass judgement on you!

Stretch · 03/07/2009 22:36

Jesus! My DD2 was still in her buggy at 3! DD1 was out of it by 24 months, but we didn't have to walk as much then. We have to trek about 1 mile to DD1s school and back again twice a day.

I'd say mind their own bloody business.

Oh, and you have my sympathy with SPD. I am 29 weeks and in agony now. Has it really not gone after having your DS?? I though it would go after birth!

Stretch · 03/07/2009 22:36

I thought

Original poster
BettySwollux · 03/07/2009 22:37

Thanks all, am starting to feel like they are all turning their noses up at me.
Any ideas for quick comebacks?

OP posts:
Lilyloo · 03/07/2009 22:37

The latter

i cannot believe anyone thinks you would be able to do anything with a 22 mth old runner without a pushchair tbh!

Rindercella · 03/07/2009 22:37

YANBU and it is none of their fecking business

DD is also 22 months and I always take her in her buggy when walking in the village as the roads are too bloody busy, and pavements too narrow, to risk her being able to run off (ugh, the thought sends shivers through me). I am sure that your DS gets ample time to run around as much as he wants to, so in his buggy for a quick stroll to the shops is fine.

screamingabdab · 03/07/2009 22:37

Judged with a 22 month old.

Blimey, people must have been EXPLODING with suppressed judgeyness at the sight of me and my 3 and a half year old !

BottySpottom · 03/07/2009 22:37

Agree, it's none of their fecking business.

I got this with all of ours - then six months later when they were out of buggies and walking up a steep hill home, I used to hear 'poor little thing walking up that steep hill, aren't you tired [DC]?'

littleboyblue · 03/07/2009 22:39

My ds1 is 23 months, and although I'm trying to get him to walk as much as possible (only because I hate having a double pushchair) there is no way I would go anywhere without it.
Everyone else is being unreasonable.

Stretch · 03/07/2009 22:39

How about,

"That would be great if it were any of your business!"
"Shut up you feckin nosey cow!"
"He sleeps and has his tea in there too!"

Tillyscoutsmum · 03/07/2009 22:39

YANBU - dd is 26 months and also a runner. She loves walking and its fine providing I don't actually need to go anywhere or do anything, otherwise, she's in the bugger.

  • Congrats Stretch - honeymoon baby ?? Hope SPD is not too bad
Original poster
BettySwollux · 03/07/2009 22:40

Stretch it is a million times better since almost immediately after the birth, but sadly still have pain sometimes . It usually does get better though.

OP posts:
Tillyscoutsmum · 03/07/2009 22:40

Oops - Freudian slip - in the buggy - not bugger

Stretch · 03/07/2009 22:43

Not far off TSM!!!
I thought I would be safe as I was still bf DS!!!

BettySwollux ( cool name) I used to get sciatica after DCs, but never had spd this bad before. I was given paracetemol for it

Original poster
BettySwollux · 03/07/2009 22:45

PMSL at sleeps and has his tea in there too!

And yes, I do take him to the park, just prefer to drive to the big one a couple of miles away, better equipment for littlies and more space to run.
We spend a fair bit of time playing in the garden and when I take him for walks round here, I ty to steer him towards the quieter areas rather that the village 'center' (the co-op lol)

OP posts:
Original poster
BettySwollux · 03/07/2009 22:48

Stretch, have you been referred to physio?
Mine gave me girdle belt thing and crutches which helped massively.
Paracetamol???? FFS have these people no idea?

OP posts:
Sazisi · 03/07/2009 22:49

yanbu

DD3 is 29 months (I think.. ) and I can't take her to the shops without a buggy to restrain the little minx. She's well able for the walk, it's just she doesn't stop when I tell her/tries to refuse my hand crossing the road/hides etc - she's a danger to her self (and bloody annoying!)

thumbwitch · 03/07/2009 22:54

none of their fecking business.

DS is 19mo and not a runner (yet) but I have back ishoos so whenever I take him out, walking or not, the pushchair comes too because if he DOES get tired (which he does quite a lot, or lazy, which he does more) and refuses to walk further, I can't carry him.

He has his own method of stopping us carrying on - he's tried the sitting down one (I hold his hand AND have him on reins cos I can't move fast enough to catch him if he slipped out of my hand) but now he just runs round the front of me and grasps both knees. We think he might be in training for rugby

If you don't get any help from physio, osteopaths can usually give relief from SPD as well.

Original poster
BettySwollux · 03/07/2009 22:59

thumbwitch, Ive been back to physio, they did manipulation massage and gave me exercises which helped. Problem is, I started to lapse a bit with them and now cant remember half of what I should be doing .
Its bearable though, as long as I dont set out on a 10k hike or anything.

OP posts:
plimple · 03/07/2009 23:01

I was going to suggest what thumbwitch said: take the pushchair when walking. If I go for a walk with DD (25 months) she holds the pushchair and a doll goes in it. If she plays up e.g. lets go or gets tired then she sits in the pushchair. I'm training her for when DC2 comes in October!
I have SPD too, rubbish isn't it?!

Stretch · 03/07/2009 23:02

MW has put in a referral, so we shall see. what happens. I thought a girdle thing would be a good idea. Just sounds hideous!!

FWIW, none of the DCs aged under 3 at DDs school walk, well apart from a couple of metres from the car. They are all in buggies. And it's all well and good saying put reins on them, but when they sit and refuse to budge, well you aren't going to get anywhere in a hurry!!

When DD1 was small, I used to walk the few metres to the bus stop and people used to moan that she was so little to be walking such distances!!!

Nothing is ever simple is it!!