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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel a bit judged?

56 replies

BettySwollux · 03/07/2009 22:30

DS2 is 22 months old. He is a 'runner'. I live in a smallish village where everybody knows each other's business.
If I go to the shop, I put DS in pushchair, as a) we would never get there, b)I have shopping to carry home, c) we are going somewhere else after, d) he is tired, e) he bloody legs it.
DH sometimes takes him for a stroll while I make tea/wash the floors etc (as do I when I have time) and we let him decide the route - within reason.

More often I am getting comments such as (directed to DS) "Ooh, you'll be too big for your pushchair soon, wont you?"
"Oh, I bet you'd rather walk wouldnt you?
"Daddy lets you walk doesnt he?"

DH took him to be weighed last week while I was on a course, lady () in shop said, "How lovely you have him out today, Betty never lets him out of the buggy"

DH gave her a look and said "how ridiculous, of course she does".

I have tried reins on him, which is ok as long as you want to walk round and round the mini bus parked up the street, but head somewhere he's not keen on and he sits down, same with hand holding, he wrenches hand from mine and takes off giggling.

I am so pissed off with it now, as I get it at least a few times a week.

I also have problems from SPD when I was pg, so seize up occasionally and cant run after him, and he is quite heavy to carry.

So........AIBU to have him in the buggy? Or is it none of their fecking business?

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 03/07/2009 23:03

taking the pushchair does have the excellent advantage of me not having to carry any shopping home as well - in fact, to the extent that the other day I needed to go to Tesco, DS was asleep on the sofa and I almost took the pushchair without him, just so I could put the shopping in it!

I didn't though. DH wouldn't let me.

GodzillasBumcheek · 03/07/2009 23:03

mmmm...witty comebacks...

Feck orf you cheeky bugger!

Excuse me but would you please mind your own business?

That's very rude y'know.

Ok maybe not witty.

thumbwitch · 03/07/2009 23:05

Stretch, it depends on what type of belt it is - there are quite narrow ones that go under the bump, just around the hips, to hold everything together. I have one that I used before I was even pg (didn't need it in pg, thank goodness, but needed it again post-delivery!)
Tis only about 3" wide.

thumbwitch · 03/07/2009 23:05

thumbwitch · 03/07/2009 23:08

sorry, stupid computer!

Stretch · 03/07/2009 23:09

Can I buy them without the physio?? From Mothercare or someplace?? I don't really fancy having to wait for the referaal. I thought they may be massive, like corsets?? Or not!!
My mum suggested support tights, but it's a bit hot for them!!

Pyrocanthus · 03/07/2009 23:21

Just think of all the things you must be doing well that this is the only thing they can think of to criticise.

thumbwitch · 03/07/2009 23:33

Stretch, this is the sort of thing I have but it doesn't say anything about it being useful for SPD, only for SI and general pelvic support.

this one and this one are more specifically for SPD, the latter one being similar to the one I have in size.

You can buy them yourself but (depending on how long you have to wait), it might be an idea to see the physio first to make sure you get the right sort for you.

StrikeUpTheBand · 03/07/2009 23:34

Gosh, 22 months and they criticise? My DS is 29 months and he only just now is getting any stamina for walking. I don't drive and use a lot of buses, plus am pregnant, so am afraid I bring the pushchair everywhere. As someone else said, if you don't bring it, what happens when they lie on the floor and refuse to move? He's too heavy to carry (and I have preexisting sciatica which I don't want to flare up in pregnancy so I don't tend to carry him far).

I have found one of those little toddler backpacks with a parent strap very handy when taking the pushchair as I can let him walk alongside me safely and still have most of 2 hands to push with while I hold the strap. We live in a city and there's lots of traffic so I can't face letting him loose.

TheLadyEvenstar · 03/07/2009 23:46

DS2 is 21m and I cannot be without his buggy because
1- he is too heavy at 2st 8lb to carry when he gets tired
2- he runs away
3- he is still a baby
4- ITS NO OTHER FECKERS BUSINESS SO TELL THEM TO GO AND DO ONE!!!!

Any ideas on how to stop him getting the shoulder straps off? he even manages if i cross them over!!!!
its not so bad in the urban detour but in the graco he leans over the side nabbing things off the shelves in the stores.

thumbwitch · 03/07/2009 23:48

put his shirt on AFTER you've strapped him in - that'll sort him!

I dunno tbh - I never use the shoulder straps on DS in the pushchair [bad mummy emoticon].

Stretch · 03/07/2009 23:53

My friend used to put reins on her DS, then stapped the reins to the reins on the buggy!!! He really was Houdini!!

Thanks Thumbwitch, that last one looks promising.

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/07/2009 00:08

lol thumb will try it!!!

I never had to use them with ds1 he was a good boy and was walking most places by now, But ds2 well you have never seen 2 children so so different!!!

StrikeUpTheBand · 04/07/2009 00:17

I had to start letting DS walk because he not only took the shoulder straps off, but has started to actually climb out of the pushchair (upwards, out of the harness) when he wants out. Actually he's getting better at admitting when he is tired and sitting back in the pushchair, but it was tricky in early pregnancy to have to deal with him lying down on the floor and refusing to get back up. I need to get him walking more anyway as DC2 is on the way and I think at nearly 3 I can't justify buying a double buggy (also skint) can I?!?

Kazzi79 · 04/07/2009 03:08

None of their fekkin business! I still take my 4 yr old out in her buggy, tell them to piss off and be thankful they havent got more important things to worry about!

hairtwiddler · 04/07/2009 07:41

My DD had only just started walking at that age - I would have been in trouble without a buggy! Time yet to ditch it.. DD out of hers about 6 months now at 3.5.

PuppyMonkey · 04/07/2009 07:52

My DD2 is 27 months and I still am mostly taking her round town in a pushchair... never had any derogatory comments where I live. Perhaps I live in a lazier area than you.

I wonder are they actually aware how old your ds is? Maybe they think he's a bit older or something. Still none of their damn business mind.

MIAonline · 04/07/2009 07:59

I wondered the same as puppy monkey about them thinking he was older than he is? I had this a lot with my DS.

Not that it makes any difference, they should just mind their own business. Don't know why people see fit to comment on perfectly normal behaviour, yet all stay quiet when we see something terrible.

Just ignore, literally pretend you haven't heard them and enjoy the smugness of rising above their interfering comments and knowing, they must truly live a boring life if they have the time and energy to comment on yours.

It would make me so annoyed though.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/07/2009 08:37

i feel your pain, DD is 2.8, but looks 4, she didn't walk until 2 due to low muscle tone and possibly has ASD, and I get comments, and am also expected to fold my buggy on the bus readily, which is nearly impossible as she falls over a lot and cant sit on a seat

Original poster

BettySwollux · 04/07/2009 20:19

Hmm, maybe they do assume he's older (dunno how, I have lived here for 100 years) there are plenty of other people wheeling 3 and 4 yo round, so I think it's because DH sometimes takes him for a walk, they assume that as DS can obv walk well, he should be doing it constantly.

I did think of asking to see the nosy bugger's invisibility cloak. Y'know, the one they wear while following me round all day, as they know I never let DS out of the buggy .

OP posts:

pranma · 04/07/2009 20:24

My dd bought a double buggy when dgs1 was 2.5 and dgs2 was newborn-he likes a little sleep after racing round the park for a couple of hours.22months?YANBU

nickytwotimes · 04/07/2009 20:24

My ds is 3 this month and if he wasn't so bloody heavy then there are times I would love to pop him in his buggy.
It is misery walking at 1 mile an hour in the pissing rain or when you are knackered and just want to get home. And then there is the whole "Carry me!" fiasco. (No, darling, Mummy cna't carry you as her back is jiggered).

Jesus, your ds is only 22 mths - just a wee tot imo and certainly normal to see kids that age in a buggy the majority of the time. Ignore the judgey buggers!

ThingOne · 04/07/2009 20:39

My DS2 is just three and I have recently put him back in the buggy for the school run as I just can't cope. he runs so fast. He's slipped out of my hand and run across the road three times in the last three weeks. It's terrifying. He is incredibly strong and agile. My nerves can't take the strain. The school is very busy at pick-up time (400 children) and if he hasn't had a nap he is just too silly for words and will not stay near me. I lost him last week which was awful. He darted off amongst the crowds as I collected lunch box and book bag from DS1.

Their safety matters most of all. Bolters are terrifying. I have tried, I really have. He knows why he's in the buggy and he knows we'll try again in a few weeks if he's sensible the rest of the time.

But at 22 months? Loads of toddlers don't have an inkling about safety. Yes, the only way you can teach them is to do that but if your mobility is impaired (as mine has been for a long time) you just cannot take that risk. Safety training can come later.

herbietea · 04/07/2009 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

girlsyearapart · 04/07/2009 20:56

YANBU also have a 22mo she likes walking but I put her in the buggy when I need to (near roads, when in a hurry, when can't be bothered to stop to look at every flower/stone/dog/etc) Never have any comments where I live-must be lazy here too Puppy! My sister does the school run with her nearly 4 year old in a double with her little sister as her eldest would more than likely never get to school if she didn't!

Tell them you want to get your money's worth out of the pushchair!!

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