AIBU to worry because I can't afford to privately educate my children?

[LaydeeStardust]

I hope this makes sense-I've had wine!

We've got 4 bright and happy children,aged 4 and up.

DS2 is 14, and is apparently extremely bright and attends our local inner city state school which gets average results

Both his own school teachers and two friends who teach at different private schools have told us that he should attend a private school to give him the best possible chances in life.

One of his teachers actually said we are letting him down by not sending him to a private school

We earn too little to pay for private education ourselves so he'd have to apply for an assisted place (we both work in social services and health)

we honestly believe in the state system,but maybe we can't really say that because we don't earn enough choose?

DS2's done his own research and is now worrying that he won't be able to get into a good uni, or get a good job etc if he doesnt go to a private school....and I don't know how to reassure him!!

I'd be so interested to hear other peoples' views on this-both me and DH went to state schools then uni, but if anyone feels I'm living in cloud cuckoo land to believe that our children will achieve whatever they want without a private education please tell me!!!

Thanks in advance!!

In my experience they don't stream in the majority of primary schools. I may be wrong as I live rurally and maybe the schools aren't big enough.
In any event one of the biggest benefits of private for us has been the ability of the teachers (due to class sizes and support) to tailor the learning to the indiviual child.

stopping, in primary they stream, but don't separate the class. usually the kids will all study the same topic, then when they do their indiviudal work, they have work pitched at their level, so it isn't apparent that they are streamed, just working in 'groups'.

Yes children are streamed in our state primary too, especially for maths, even moving into a higher or lower year group if necessary.

I understand now, thanks.

Here is a somewhat radical solution to the problem of catchment.

UQD, I'm not sure I understand! How does their solution affect the problem of catchment? It doesn't propose to make it more diverse, only to move its physicality.

It's called differentiation is it not?

UQD - no I don't believe that a good child will flourish anywhere.

WhereverILay... I think you have a point, albeit one that's rather unfortunately expressed. However, I think people pay for education for a whole host of reasons, and wanting their child to get one up on their peers isn't necessarily high on their lists!

Well, whereeverilay, you have just as much right to pay in order to give your kids a 'leg up' as I have in order to ensure my kids enjoy school and have fun.

Parents who pay do so for a whole host of reasons not always for the same reasons as yourself.

That was a xpost Ladyhh, despite the 18min gap. I started typing then answered the phone.

I was being somewhat sardonic. I have my reservations about that school idea - I just don't see that picking it up and plonking it somewhere else will help.

Well myredcardigan you'll have to admit that (I smile to myself) the fact that your state funded wages go towards paying to ensure your children aren't subjected to the same education that you provide. Oh the irony

Oh, I see!
How are they suddenly going to find the money to support such a scheme and if they have such an amount why aren't they using it now to improve the facilities for the kids there now?

Some pertinent questions which, were I a parent with a child at that school, I'd be asking!

I have taught in state schools where they hoard money. They're not suppose to but many do esp if they know they're not due an audit. Some strange HTs see it as a status symbol which is ridiculous.
Unless a school is saving its capital fund for something big like a new roof or classroom then it's such a waste.

I'm not suggesting no money in the bank but I've taught in a school where they carried 50k across quite a few years until they were practically forced to spend it.

Surely some pigs were more equal than others in Animal Farm?

Myredcardigan - re:Manchester - there are a lot of less well known but decent independents - Bury Grammar, Bolton, William Hulme, St. Bedes, Oldham and possibly also religious Jewish and Muslim schools that push that figure up so high...

TC, but... Bury come under Bury and Bolton comes under Bolton and Oldham comes under Oldham. None of these places come under Manchester LEA. The thing about Manchester LEA, unlike most other cities, is that it is actually very small and is surrounded on all sides by other Greater Manchester LEAs such as Salford, Rochdale, Trafford, Stockport, Oldham, Bury and Bolton. Not sure if Cheshire touches but my point is, other than Didsbury, there aren't really many affluent areas within Manchester LEA.
If you look at the link you'll see that Bury has an extremely high percentage attending independent school (BGS and BGSforG I guess), followed closely by Stockport (SGS and CHS) All four very difficult to get into independent schools in Greater Manchester but none actually in Manchester LEA.

In Manchester LEA, you do have Manchester Grammar of course and Withington (2nd in the country apparently! Unbelievably high A-level results))but also Manchester High for Girls. However, my experience is that many of the pupils at these schools bus in from Greater Manchester and Cheshire. Even making allowances for MGS's blind admissions, would that account for such a high percentage. I guess obviously as the stats speak for themselves. I'm just surprised.

Just re-read your post and yes, WH and Stbedes and the Jewish school in Prestwich but I'm still surprised at the stats. Not bothered in any way, just surprised.

I would rather live in an area with less affluence if I'm honest and then,
a) I wouldn't be living in a house that has cost us 700k all in but is still a state.
b)I wouldn't get riled at having to keep saying, 'no my house didn't cost 10k to friend and family in Surrey who think we all live on Coronation Street up here and that they could buy my house on credit card.

I went to coffee with some nursery mums today (DD is at a state nursery as our indie sch doesn't have a nursery) and it was so snobby, so in my face that I came away depressed cause my kitchen came from Wickes and I didn't spend 35k on it. At least in Surrey people just sniffed at me! In Cheshire they let me know I'm cheap.

Myredcardigan you have hit the nail on the head re Cheshire! We moved here from the SE not long ago and have never experienced such pathetic attempted one upmanship from mostly uneducated other parents - we just laugh at the stupid comments they come out with!

My DD is at Withington and almost everyone buses in from Cheshire or North Manchester - hardly any local children. We are currently seriously having to consider whether we really want her to grow up with children who have such materialistic parents. Such a weird area!

I think if your ds2 is well motivated and will apply himself he's most of the way there to fulfilling his full potential. If his school streams pupils according to ability then that would definitely help. You could also help fill in the gaps where you or your ds2 feels he could do with more help eg. tutors for weaker subjects. A lot of private schools practise and practise exams for weeks with pupils prior to exams so you could consider a crammer during the easter holidays.
I know lots of people think a state education should provide all the things a private education does but the reality is it often does'nt. I had a state education and when I think back to who in my class got into the best universities it was the bright people with parents who supported them in the ways I've mentioned.

Don't listen to family and friends, investigate yourself how good the state schools are first. If they really aren't very good then I agree with ladyhooha.

Isn't there a grammar option?

How about from Y9 onwards?

Private education can be a disadvantage nowadays for sixth form especially due to positive discrimination.

I also think the co-curricular stuff that goes on in private schools compares well to the state schools. If the local school is good then I would spend any spare money on fab extra curricular opportunities for him.

The rubbing shoulders thing is a bit odd. I think that's rather prejudiced in a class way.

Oh my goodness.. I had no idea there were 15 pages. My post is rather out of date.

at Cheshire snobbery, did you need to be in Cheshire rather than say Manchester/Stockport suburbia for work or family reasons?

ceebee - I went to Withington over 15 years ago - and yes, that's what it was like then as well, lots of girls coming in from Cheadle Hale Barns, Knutsford, Lymm etc.

Just to mention this is a fantastic book about the British education system:
" The School Report: The Hidden Truth About Britain's Classrooms by Nick Davies (2000)"
its shocking and explains why we all go round in circles trying to find a decent state school for our dc