Do I risk social death for my ds by not doing party bags?

[MadameDefarge]

Seriously, it is his first birthday a his new school. Ds is nine. I have booked bowling alley, and will feel them in groovy Amercian diner style cafe there, but I am losing the will to live over the party bag thing.

Now woolworths has gone, it will be impossible to do them in any cheap way...

So AIBU in thinking the little sods can live without them, given the very expensive treat they are already getting, or will I ruin his reputation in his new school?

Aaagghhh! I will feed them!

nope. I made a stand yeasr ago. it was liberating. gave them a bit of cake at the end. was fine.

I made the stand this year. It was great. Never again with the Hawkins Bazaar tat and the shite plastic bags. They all trotted off quite happily with a bit of cake wrapped in kitchen roll.

At nine they will be used to the fact that you don't get party bags every time. But they still love to get them. If you can put up with a bunch of crestfallen little faces as you usher them out, then go for it. But personally I would stump up a bag. Or at least a lollipop each, or a packet of pens from the pound shop.

Yeah. Leave it.

9 is old enough to forgo a party bag.

But I'm sure there will be droves of MNers along in a minute telling me what a mean and tight host I am

This is looking good so far...

Oh, and no one said a word. Either to the DSs involved, or to me. My name might be mud in the playground, but I don't care as long as it stays behind my back.

Will you be feeling them to see if they are skinny then getting them extra chips

Wilkinsons do cheap goodie bag fillers.

He's 9, they'll be bowling all afternoon then you'll spend a bliddy fortune in the American diner. Don't beat yourself up, that's plenty for the little blighters wee cherubs.

Yes. You do. Or at the very least you'll have kids moaning about it on the way out.

The party bags are often the highlight of the party for the kids. I know, it's selfish, materialistic and a little bit naff, but kids love party bags. And aren't parties made for kids?? Or did I get that one wrong??

At 9 they can deal with not having them. Although I like to do them so will carry on.

At 16, they will probably just be happy for you to feel them at the diner What a great typo!!!

ah, Kimi, the "chip pinch test" patented by MD Enterprises...

Wilkinsons? Don't have one in London that I know of...I sort of think pound store tat might not go down well anymore with them...

Ah I disagree Squilly - if MadameDefarge's DS was 4 or 5 then I'd say yes, but remembering to when my DS was 9, the party bag thing was becoming seriously uncool! I wouldn't worry about it in the slightest MD.

You get them one 'something' instead of having to pick lots of different things and bags as well.

A small, cheap toy. Don't really know any 9 yr old boys so can't be of much further help as to what that something could be.

Asda also do party bag tat cheaply. But I say send the little 'darlings' home with some cake. No-one will think any less of you, especially as you are providing activity and food.

As to feeling them in the groovy American diner. Is that strictly necessary? Just give them a pat on the head and a 'well done'.

Party bags are a menace and so unethical. If you feel bad about the "crestfallen little faces" just think about the small children in Chinese sweatshops working 10 hour days 7 days a week to produce all of the plastic shite that goes into party bags (and that then goes in the bin within 24 hours). I'm sure it will help to it into perspective.

Well it's ds's party on Saturday. 4 of them going to a fab archery place.

I'm going to let them each choose a knight/dragon keyring at the end (not dear) and give them a piece of cake when they get home.

Not a bag in sight.

As a party bag afficionado I am feeling a bit wibbly, but am holding firm

Gawd. Am I destined to be known as the pervy parent????!!!!

I can assure you there will be strictly no feeling involved....

Sorry nothing to add - to busy chortling over you feeling the kids

Ah it's given me the best laugh of the day Madame! I am actually crying a little bit.

I'd missed the fact they were nine

I think you would probably get away with it then...

DD is 9 in January and I think we're doing away with the party concept. Instead, we're going for lunch at the local mall food court with 4 friends, Build a Bear for said friends, with £20 each for them to spend then a sleepover for the final phase.

That with an afternoon tea for friends of the family should see us straight next year. And the only thing leaving our house in a party bag will be a chunk of cake.

I put the cake in a party bag to keep it intact, and chuck a few sweets in with it. I can't stand the little bits of plastic and the children don't care.

Party bags suck - both the giving of and the receiving of.

Is it just bowling or a bowling party?? As we got party bags included in DD bowling party.

I quite agree that the tat you get in Party Bags is not worth the effort in thinking and buying things to put in!