Do I risk social death for my ds by not doing party bags?

[MadameDefarge]

Seriously, it is his first birthday a his new school. Ds is nine. I have booked bowling alley, and will feel them in groovy Amercian diner style cafe there, but I am losing the will to live over the party bag thing.

Now woolworths has gone, it will be impossible to do them in any cheap way...

So AIBU in thinking the little sods can live without them, given the very expensive treat they are already getting, or will I ruin his reputation in his new school?

Rosie, am liking this...but no printer!

yikes the thought has never entered my head of not doing party bags, but then i think it is easier for me as i have 2 girls and another one on the way so its plastic hairclips and beads and i'm sorted!!!

have you looked at partypieces.co.uk i had some fab stuff from there they do seeds wind up cars etc etc and are quite reasonable!!??

x

nice name Rosie - PG Wodehouse fan!

Great idea too. So is getting exp involved. Or you could just ask him to organise the party bags?

hawkins bazaar do cheap shit for party bags

Lordy, bless him. I think that's an ask too much, I don't think he has a clue about that stuff as I have always done it in the past, and Ds currently living with him during the week as he is next door to new school.

Happily it is all extremely amicable...

and this is where I confess the party is on Sunday....

Not sure if this helps but my DS1's class (year 2) have given books to their friends at the end of parties this year instead of party bags .... Mums have ordered a big set from someone like The Book People where you can get eg 10 books for £10... the kids all get a decent present (no plastic tat which is always just abandoned in the car on the way home from the party in my experience), your son keeps his street cred, and you don't spend a fortune....

LOL - ASDA then. Or Hawkins Bazaar do grow-your-own venus fly traps in a box, if you want to go down the eco route.

Sheesh. You are determined to do bags aren't you?

Hawkins Bazaar? Don't think there are any in London!

I don't want to do them, because it will be such a faff. But I don't want ds to be the only child whose slack parents didn't do the right party thing. He has only just joined the school, and all the other kids have been there since nursery, so they are a very bonded group. Moving him was a hard decision as he has left all his mates behind, but he was having such a terrible time at school we felt we had to do it...

But just got a text from another mum in his class, who says just cake is fine...

why is there no 'head slapping' emoticon when you need one?

I am sure your son will be very popular, what with all the feeling, cake and bowling. I do doubt whether party bags would achieve bonding anyway. More likely to fall short of mums' standards than kids I 'spect. Kids will be happy with the day out.

Hope the party goes well and he settles in well! He'll probably make friends immediately at age 9 .

I guess the 'feeling' would make it special, wouldn't it? {wink]

Okay. Cake to go home with. Good. Decision made. Stick to guns. Stop worrying.

Thank you Mnetters. And glad I managed to put a smile on some of your faces!

They sell the crazy bones in toys r us and other places, 99p for 3 in a bright little pack. The £1.50 pack includes a tin. They are cute little collectable figures which you can play games with and are the craze in the playground in some schools. Kids love them.

Oh Jelly.....! They sound fab! But No. Decision made.

9 is about the age i stopped,
a simple piece of cake

Never handed these money pits out in twenty years of parenting. Children never remember after five minutes and don't care. They sometimes get a lucky dip, or a sweet and a balloon, but those icky plastic bags full of tat? I never saw the point.

Unless your child's friends/class are manipulative little materialists, I would do as I do and concentrate on giving everyone a lovely memorable time. Good luck to all of you, and may this be the beginning of a trend I have been trying to kick off for twenty years.

other mothers will be relieved that you have made a stand and will follow suit.
you will set a precedence.
good on yer

Excellent points, Slarty and Mumarch, I shall be a parenting trailblazer...

I don't do party bags anymore - DD (7) has had craft parties the last two years so the kids take their craft creations home, DS (9)really couldn't care less about giving or getting party bags.

I've never had crestfallen faces, nor noticed any whinging (that I'm aware of), or had parents shunning me in the playground because of lack of plastic tat.

Set a precedent, be brave!

If it was me, I wouldn't be supplying party bags after a bowling party. IME other mothers think the same. It would be very churlish to feel short changed if none appeared.

Although I'm only speaking from being a parent of 3 years, I made a pact with friends of mine that we wouldn't do party bags - why are we paying for people to come to the party? They're always filled with carp that no-one actually wants or needs. We all sighed a huge sigh of relief.

I know 9 year olds are a different ball game but honestly, why waste time and money on this. Give me a great time at the bowling alley and that's what they'll remember.

filled with carp? maybe I should try sardines!

Things may be different with 9 year olds, but in the 2-5 age group there is a definate trend here towards not having party bags (or even presents). Parents are generally told beforehand (usually something on the invite).

I haven't heard any complaints. Quite the opposite, in fact. Parents think it is fab because it sets a precedent.

if anyone is doing them, this is where I get the eco bags (we've had farm parties altely so themes well)

DS2 ahd the filled mugs from here and they went down well also, at elast the mugs are handy

You don't need party bags for 9 yo's. Tradition round here is for party children to leave with piece of cake and dip their hads into a couple of large Haribo mini bags. That's all they want - sweets, no plastic tat. Problems solved!