To be pissed off with my mum choosing clothes for my dd which she then expects me to pay for?

[ino]

My mum often produces an item of clothing that she has gone out and bought for dd, who is 7. Then she expects me to pay for it. I say 'No, if you want to buy her something that's fine but I want to choose her clothes, myself thanks'

To this she replies 'oh, ok if you don't want her to have anything nice to wear'.

This really annoys me. To me it seems like a way for her to control what dd wears and to get me to pay for it.

And dd gets plenty of nice stuff - I buy it all in Boden or Gap.

AIBU?

No, YANBU.

Don't give her any money then. She can't exactly force you to stump up.

Stick to your guns, don't pay EVER again!

yanbu

no YANBU - I can't believe she expects you to pay for them!

Just don't take then from her anymore.

YANBU.

Sounds like behaviour that needs nipping in the bud or where could it end? Jewellery? Bikes? Cars?

I assume you've not asked her to buy anything? My MIL sometimes does this when dd stays with her - last time she spent around 50 quid in Next! She didn't ask me for the money though as I'd not actually asked her to get anything. I didn't mind, if she wanted to spend her money on dd then fine I don't think I'd want to be presented with the bill though!

YANBU in answer to OP, (pressed too soon)

YANBU.

She wants all the fun but wants someone else to pay for it.

That is passive aggressive crap.

YANBU!

What kind of clothes is she buying? If your DD is in Boden and Gap I think she will be looking pretty darn smart. And you know it will wash well.

It is a form of control. Stick to your guns.

Here is something to make you feel better:

Mil had both our dogs put down and gave Dp the bill!

DO NOT GIVE IN.

I would buy her a cricket box and ask her for the money.

You are not being at all unreasonable! How controlling of her! Carry on saying no!

oh, wanted to ask - when you say no, you are not paying for something you did not ask her to buy - does she return the item to the shop?

Regina! Really? how the HELL did that happen?

Your mother sounds mad - she wants to spend your money for you? Loopy.

YANBU ...how insulting is she ...basically she is saying that you don't have taste....unbelievable...

at regina - please explain!!!

YANBU

We had 2 dogs.

One dog got very sick, I asked the vet to put him down (they were both old), but she said "let's give him 24 hours". We did and he made a miracle recovery.

A week later, he was retested to see if he was alright. His bloods came back perfect.

We paid the vet £350 for saving our dog.

Another week later, both dogs were fine, so we went ahead with our holiday to France, Fil and Mil agreed to look after the dogs, walk them etc.

We came back 10 days later. Fil came to pick us up at the airport and simply said "the dogs have gone". I replied "Gone where?". He said "I have had both of them put down, they were too much hassle to look after while you were away".

Dp burst into tears in the car. I couldn't talk at all. Mil instigated it apparently.

We didn't confront them. Dp asked me to just leave it.

3 weeks later, we received the bill through the post. £180. Dp paid and didn't say anything to his parents.

It's been a year and I am still fuming and we still haven't mentioned anything.

Sorry for hijack ino!

OMG regina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Regina!
Too much hassle? How dare they?
You need to speak to them about this or you'll feel resentful forever.

Dog muderers!

I would be seriously disgusted at an adult who would let this go and allow himself to be stuck with the bill.

They killed your pets because they couldn't be bothered looking after them. And then made you pay for the privilege. I'm stunned.
I take it you won't be leaving your children with them while you go on holiday.

OMG [SHOCK]

LOL @ Lyra

I would maybe leave dh with them though...