To wish that people would ask before letting their children pet/ touch my dog

[iggypiggy]

ok this is my first venture into this area...

Am getting increasingly concerned at the number of people that let their toddler/ child just walk up to my dog and touch him without asking and I am starting to wonder why this keeps happening? It doesn't seem like a very safe thing to do? Yesterday, for example, a toddler ran up to my dog and repeatedly grabbed at his tail - while the father smiled benignly on from a distance I said 'luckily my dog is friendly' and he just carried on smiling.. But how on earth could he have known my dog was ok with children?!

I have a labrador - he's very friendly, good with children but not too fussed about saying hi to people when we out on a walk, he too busy playing with toys/ sniffing etc. So he kind of avoids them.

This keeps on happening - repeatedly children approach my dog while their parents are there and just start touching.

Am considering telling children - well the ones old enough to understand - that they really should ask first - but I would have expected parents to tell them that?

AIBU - or should people really ask first?

Incidentally - I have been asked by children sometimes and I always say yes.

spawn where did I say my parents dog bit people? So no she isn't muzzled - she has never bitten anyone, but she growled at child that grabbed her tail, so we keep her well away from children.

Not off the lead ones necessarily but they have those super-long extendable leads where the owner is about 4 miles away.

I thought that it was best to assume that if a dog is allowed to come up to DD it must be safe as the owners always say that they are when they come along.

if they are not safe the owner usually rushes up and pulls them off.

stayingsunny - yes, as I've said I repeatedly teach my DCs to stay away from dogs, and they are now (aged 4 and nearly 3) pretty reliable. However, I really don't see why the parent of a younger child and/or one who is still in the process of being taught should have to be on high alert in all public spaces to ensure that they don't get too close to a dog. It;s the dog owners duty to ensure their dog is kept away from children.

lovelytinofspam - I would hope that any dog that comes up to your DD is safe - but i still say that the owners are in the wrong there - dogs, like everyone, need rules - and one rule is not running up to other people/ dogs without being given the ok to do so by their owner... But other dogs owners is a whole other thread

spawn i do agree owners should not let dogs run up to your children. I think we all agree on that point

iggypiggy - the dog "hates children" and has shown signs of aggression towards them. Are your parents going to wait until it actually bites a child before muzzling it? Would it not be better to pre-empt the attack and save a child from injury and scarring?

spawn they won't need to as the dog is always walked on the lead and children are told if they approach her that she doesn't like kids. Which I think is totally responsible.

As an aside - she got completely flat front teeth (so no bite anyway) and is 13 yrs old and very slow.. I think - making a risk assessment - she doesn't actually need a muzzle. but thanks for your concern

But this diverts from the point. Aside from spawn chorus who has decided to use this as a chance to rant about how much she hates dogs (we geddit) thanks all for your input, as I now feel less like I am being silly about thinking people should ask.

actually - thanks for your input spawn chorus too - cos you obviosuly agree too!

I think dogs who will snap at children should be muzzled in public places - if not you risk injury to a child and having your dog destroyed as a result

"And dogs that are known to snap at children should be put down IMO"

No, they shouldn't. Muzzle, yes, but KILL them? No. Many dogs get cranky as they age, or have been abused and they are terrified - which causes them to snap. And of course some dogs are aggressive.

Spam - My dogs are friendly, but I still would be worried about them being stroked by a toddler when I wasn't right there (ie if they were in the park having a run).

I just think its best for the dog and the child for me to be there, and the dog to be sitting. Dogs get anxious in unknown situations, so its best I am there to reassure/ supervise BOTH dog and child.

Also, some dogs get territorial when they are tied up. Best left alone.

YANBU - I'm always suprised that people seem to have no sense around dogs. Surely it's just common sense not to let a child touch a dog you know nothing about? You don't need to be scared of dogs, just sensible around animals that have the potential to hurt/kill a child. We teach children not to run into the road don't we?

Thanks purpleduck.

So if I am say going for a walk and a dog runs up, what is the best course of action?

Not pat it but what do you do? My instinct is to back away/try to go around it but I have been told that is wrong as they will sense you are scared. Like I say I am trying not to let my fear rub off onto DD but it is tricky.

I just never know what to do.

Ditto the asking the owner thing - how do you know that the owner is being realistic when they tell you the dog is safe? Having been bitten a couple of times and been in some other difficult situations I know that owners are not always the best judge of what their dogs are capable of so where does that leave things? I can't tell DD not to trust the owners, obviously, but sometimes people do say dogs are fine and then they aren't.

Limonchik it's not really common sense what to do with dogs in different situations. I don't like them and so my instincts are probably all wrong - like the patting on the head thing i only found that out today. To say that people should just know what to do seems a bit harsh.

YANBU, DS knows to never ever approach a strange dog without checking with me and the owner first.

9 times out of 10, it is fine but you need to check!

Spam, I try to keep walking in such situations but thankfully have not been in a situation where I felt threatened. If a dog did come up to you I think the best course of action is to look around very pointedly for the dog's owner and try to make it clear (politely and not in an antagonistic way) that you are not comfortable and would prefer that the owner move the dog on.

Spam, if you feel your instincts are all over the place, I would probably ignore the dog -fear doesn't have to enter into it .

If a child seems quite interested in my dogs (one is very fluffy and cute - kids are always wanting to pet him) I generally ask the child/parent if they want to pet the dogs, then I get the dogs to sit. I usually encourage them to stroke the dog's side or shoulders.

Spam it is also important not to scream/squeal/yell or run when a strange dog approaches. Best to stay calm and look for owner as stillstanding says.

Spam, if a dog runs up to you, stay calm, ignore it and keep walking. If your DD wants to pet it, ask the owner first.

I would never touch a dog I don't know, or one who's owner I can't see, or who is tied up.

I never scream or run or anything, never have done, but when they are in your path and bounding around it's hard to walk on. So is it best to remain still or keep trying to move forward while ignoring it. Or then will it know you're scared?

One of the incidents when I was a girl (big alsation, I was about 7) I stood and stared it out and eventually it went away but not sure that was the right thing to do, maybe that time I was just lucky.

The thing is I do like to go for walks with DH and DD and the places we go locally are used a lot for walking dogs and I always feel worried when one approaches - what am I supposed to do etc. what if it is aggressive.

x-posts keep walking, ignore it and silently hope for the best! That's what I have been doing so will keep at it.

Thanks all.

Spam, its reckoned to be best to avoid eye contact with a dog if you think it may be agressive - they may think its a challenge.

Not that I've had to face up to many large agressive dogs myself since I've had a dachshund to defend me .

I actually find most kids do ask before touching - the conversation usually goes:

Is that a sausage dog? - yes, it certainly is!

Can I stroke him? - yes, stroke his back (and show them which way to stroke if they are too young or silly to go the right way.)
He doesn't actually mind being patted on the head but I tell them to stroke as thats the best approach in general. And I usually tell the child how sensible they are to ask.

If I see anyone looking nervous I bring him close to heel or even pick him up.

YANBU, and very responsible dog owner.

"It;s the dog owners duty to ensure their dog is kept away from children"

Well I try, but it can sometiems be hard. I keep her on her lead but there have been times when I've stopped to talk to someone on the playing fields near me. Off the path so plenty of room for people to get by and have had kids come running up to my dog and started stroking her. What am I supposed to do? Why is it my duty to do something about that?

My dog is fine with kids, but she was a rescue dog and when I first got her was very nervous. It used to worry me that if she felt threatened she might snap. Luckily she never has but instead has been terrified on numerous occassions by kids rushing up to her. Once she was so scared she managed to pull her head out of her collar and run off.

LovelyTinofSpam said:
"....However, I really don't see why the parent of a younger child and/or one who is still in the process of being taught should have to be on high alert in all public spaces to ensure that they don't get too close to a dog....."

Surely if you are out and about with a young child, you are on 'high alert' for anything that might pose a danger to the child anyway? If the child is too young or hasn't yet learned about staying safe, then their safety is their parents' responsibility. In the interaction between dog and child, the parents and the dog owner should surely share that responsibility.

Erm I never said that...

Spawnchorus did.

However I would say that when dogs which are not on leads or are on those really long ones or are jumping up and the owner isn't doing anything, I find it hard to take responsibility for my side of the interaction as I simply don't know how to behave and dogs seem to like to bite me. Not all dog owners are responsible so why does it all have to be down to me to know what to do.

stripeyknicks - in that example I would say very clearly to the kids that they should not touch the dog, while pulling it out of their way.

Stayingsunny - you're quoting me Of course I'm alert to potential dangers when out with my DCs, but in the park most of them are stationary and predictable (boundaries, climbing frames etc). Dogs on the other hand are mobile and can appear suddenly around corners or out of bushes.

I do rigorously enforce a no-touching-dogs rule and am very very wary about dogs approaching (with or without owners), but there are other more naive parents who have not seen at first hand facial injuries from a dog attack. In the event that their child briefly ran too far ahead from them and approached a dog, I think it's up to the owner to take evasive action, don't you?