ok...will try this again, aibu to be put off a school by the amount of children with SN?

[daftpunk]

posted this in education, (Pre-school, like the twit that i am).....my ds is due to start secondary school in 2 years so we're looking around already, i am a bit put off by a school with lots of SN children, as SN also means behaviour problems....i'm not sure if i am being unreasonable.

hi i just wanted to say my bit. i haven't read all the posts on this thread, but enough to get the general idea.

the secondary school i went to was a bit of a mixed bag. mostly, there were NT kids and most of them were shits. The boys were sexist bullies with nasty language and no respect for anyone's feelings. The girls were mostly back-stabbing bitches. All would gang up and rip the piss out of anyone they saw as 'different' in any way, including SN kids. Most of these arses had emotional needs of their own (by not having any emotions, let alone tact or manners). If you wanted to get on and learn anything then you were picked to pieces and every aspect of your character publically and scrutinised and discussed/made-up. The teachers did nothing. I played truant a lot just to get away from them, which affected my work.

I think schools are different now, with TAs and anti-bullying policies. I just hope to god that when my little girl starts school next year that she is able to make friends, settle down and be happy enough in her environment to do her best. We are looking at schools now to choose for her, and what percentage of the school's pupils had SN came low on our agenda, simply as it's not as important to us as other factors. I think someone made a very good point of saying that if a school is good, then it can recognise if a kid needs help, and can then provide it. It doesn't matter if it's short-term help that's needed, or if ongoing support and full-time TA help needed. The important thing is that everyone is different, and we are all entitled to an education, and the possible chance to have one, according to our personal needs.

I bet if DP's DC had SN/SEN then she would be the 1st to complain if she felt he wasn't getting what he deserved from his school.

Peachy - don't let that label get to you - hopefully it will lead to services which will prevent that from becoming a reality.x

That's true, Riven but there are also an awful of people on here with NT DC who were also opposed to the Ops point of view, which also should be heartening?

DP, hope that you can take on board what has been said here and that it has allayed your fears about your DS's future school. You need to find out more about it.

Sat here in Primark specials, Riven

I don't think I'd be qualified to judge anyone's attire!

a school with a lot of sn children would count as a positive imo. all my dc are nt. but, if a school has lots of sn children, then it means it is able to teach them well. maybe i am wrong, but for me, that would be a plus, not a negative.

It's a date, I am unkempt atm, lets give them something to purse their lips at

the funny thing about this is when ds went to secondry he was put as SEN and given and IEP................because he has hearing loss in one ear!!!!!! so he would be part of the statistics

we live on a bath estate
he has learned to just make freids with the stoners, that way if he stands in the middle of them he can high for free

PMSL 2shoes

ds2 is on the register as well with an IEP, his issue is dyspraxia. Apart from the dailyfalling offchair etc incidents, can't see how that'd bother anyone! I am so proud of the feedback I get from his teachers.

Mind, took ds1 in to see Head today as he tippd us off about a child taking a ablde to school today so am very proud og him as well. Good kid. There's a very active moral compass in there under the ASD, and you can't prevent the ASD, just provide the compass.

ok, prepare to be amazed, daftpunk is going to type out a post containing more than 10 words...apologies now for all spelling mistakes, typos and wayward apostrophes...

firstly, i would like to sincerely apologise to anyone on this thread who i may have offended, my thread title was at best insensitive, and at worst offensive, it wasn't intended to be either, i just don't think.....i assumed everyone would know i was talking about children who are disruptive for the sake of it, not children who have medical conditions....anyway...i doesn't matter now, but thank you to all the posters who replied to me sensibly.

i had to read some of the replies through my fingers last night, the true horror was unfolding with each post...i honestly had no idea i instilled such emotion in some people...i actually thought i was quite liked on here..(ok, that's a bit strong, but ykwim)....maybe ignorance is bliss after all..

TDWP...i was shocked by you tbh, i thought we got on ok, i don't think we've had a lot to do with each other...certainly never had an argument, infact last time i spoke to you it was offering you help, that offer will always stand, i'd never go back on that.

FBG... i was only chatting with you a few days ago on shineons thread, i had no idea what you really thought of me, i was going to post on there yesterday...but i'll be gracious and leave the thread (spare everyone the embarrassment)

FIOFIO....i know we have a bit of "history" but i have apolgised to you, it's a shame you can't remember that post.

RHUBARB...i have had the most fights with you..some brilliant ones actually, every post to each other deleted ...but you were the only one to ask me how i was last night, the men on mumsnet are lucky to have you on their side.

apologies once again for any offence caused, i will put this down to experience and learn from it.

thank you

DP

peachy that is good that he told. ds repoted a lad the other day for picking on a girl in a wheelchair(he decked him first)

'children who are disruptive for the sake of it'

Oh please!

Dp I honestly think a lot of info came out of6the thread

I've said it before one MN- with a different title would have made a fab discussion

Some of the info on here I gleaned rom chatting to a Prof who runs the MA in asd; it's great to share it.

Posted in a differents ection with the title 'Si there a link between the number of children in a school with SN and overall behaviour?' there'd still have been a debate but maybe less defensive/ The title and AIBU placement does put peoples backs up.

One of the downsides about the secure SN area is that I bet there's less of a lerning effect than there used to be- necessary but sad IMVHO.

I hope you're OK today DP, and I hope your child gets the school you want

Good for you Daftpunk, honestly, that was a great post.
I think Peachy is right, worded differently the OP could have opened up a good debate/discussion, which it did at the end, I have certainly learnt a lot.

I think you are very brave to come back and apologise/put your side DP.

Dp - ''I get knocked down. But I get up again''

well done for apologising and I know only too well how stressful the whole secondary school thing can be. I'm still licking my wounds from the process.

This thread wasn't all bad - I have seen people eviscerated for saying tamer things than your OP - and I'm sure there are some people out there who think what you said, so hopefully people will have learned something from this thread.

Well done DP.

Whatever else this thread may or may not achieve I hope that some people now have a greater understanding that parents of children with SN are always goingto have much greater concerns when it comes to selecting a school than almost any other parent.

Children with SN in schools are far more likely to be the victim of bullying than NT children. Parents often have to spend years fighting for adequate support only to then find that their vulnerable children are not supported emotionally. And that they as parents are also vulnerable to the fear and ignorant assumptions of parents who know no more about SN than the crudest stereotypes.

I have to say I read threads like this and thank god my son is at a special school. But I hope that increased inclusion (with proper funding and implementation) will start to rout out the prejudices of the current generation.

FWIW My sons school recently went on a trip to the cricket at Lords. The children had a fantastic time but chatting to one of the attending teachers the next day he said it had given him a great deal to fedback into the schools whole philosophy.
The boys have been taught to be polite, take turns, sit quietly etc and were reminded of all these social begaviours in preparation for the trip. On the day they were barged out of queues, pushed, shoved and in essence strampeded by the NT children from local school who do not queue, do not wait their turn and do not often give a stuff for anyone sitting around them.
The social skills that they are being taught with such care and dedeication are broadly ignored bytheir NT peers - the very social skills that are supposed to define our childrens difficulities are now ignored by those for whom they are supposed to be 'normal.
If the school want to tutor these kids lacking in social skills to be average they have to abandon the 'normal' rules of interaction
Ironic really.

Which is exactly why I find it difficult to accept any 'apology' that has been offered, Fio.

None of it rings true. It's like the gay threads. Slip in a little insult here and there, watch the fireworks and then come back all doe eyed and upset. It's fake.