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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really mad because a woman just told me morning sickness is psychological?

111 replies

Lishylooloo · 20/06/2009 22:15

I'm 4 months pregnant with my second and just over months of awful morning sickness - well all day long sickness in my case. It was the same with DD1 - sick all the time, chronic fatigue etc.

I just met a woman who has three kids and said morning sickness is psychological - of course she didn't suffer from it at all and with her first didn't even know she was pregnant until three months. She told me if I didn't know I was pregnant I wouldn't have felt sick. Her doctor apparently agreed with her. Yeah right! I obviously subconsciously want to have what feels like motion sickness 24 hours and day and throw up etc. It's such a blast!

I didn't say anything to her but now I am just mad as hell. I'm a positive thinker and definitely not a hypochondriac! Where does this woman get off saying it's psychological? Does she really think that woman who suffer from morning sickness are mentally weak or what?

OP posts:
funtimewincies · 21/06/2009 19:19

So these women are lucky enough to have escaped the torture that is morning sickness - bully for them .

I've had it badly with all my pgs which got past 7 weeks, even with the mmc. I would happily slap any such smugcow woman on your behalf OP.

scottishmummy · 21/06/2009 19:22

i knew an earth goddess type who maintained any woman can give birth naturally,analgesia free chanting an incantation.anything else was weak wimpy,too posh to push etc. when i had Hyperemesis Gravidarum throughout pg she recommended her homeopath well that didn't work,and she told me it was "all in my head"

fast forward her pg.

homeopathy didnt work for her morning sickness either
she chose an elective CS

BroodyChook · 21/06/2009 19:27

Ah, scottishmummy, justice....

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 21/06/2009 19:28

I do actually know someone whose sickness was the worst it could possibly be that found some relief from homeoppathy, it can work for some (she founded the Blooming Awful group that used to be about for HG).

Only thing thatworked for me was sleep- there was some thought of a link between exghaustion and MS but I don't have the link any mroe as the site ended.

Haribosmummy · 21/06/2009 19:36

Can I join late to this thread?

My mother believes morning sickness AND PND are both 'in women's heads'

Apparently, anyone who suffers from PND simply doesn't have enough to do.

I really, truly am not kidding you.

She is really dismissive of anyone who has problems surrounding childbirth and will tell anyone who will listen (And she wonders why I don't like to introduce her to my friends )

She also believes that newborns should be shut in their own room from day one and 'made' sleep through the night...

(Yes, I have some issues with my childhood and NO, I never let her look after my DS!!!)

mrsboogie · 21/06/2009 19:39

Apparently it's true that women in denial of pregnancy (i.e those who go to hospital with stomach pains only to turn out to be in the throes of labour) don't get it - but this is a very different thing. Apparently they don't "show" either.

bumpsoon · 21/06/2009 19:39

i havent suffered with morning sickness with any of mine and put it down to nothing more than sheer unadultered luck Im not sure how anyone can make themselves so physically sick as some of the people i know who have suffered morning sickness ,therefore i can only think that this women and her obviousley male GP are talking utter crap

Haribosmummy · 21/06/2009 19:41

I didn't get morning sickness at all with DS or with this pregnancy ( I have 5 weeks to go).

I can honestly say I haven't felt ill or have any cravings at all.

I think some women really don't get sick - but that doesn't make it less real for those that do!

funtimewincies · 21/06/2009 19:42

My mum trots out the 'I didn't have time for PND' line too Haribosmummy and believes that most mental illness is simply attention seeking .

She can be a very nice woman at times though.

Quattrocento · 21/06/2009 19:46

The only thing that really worked for that sick feeling (which luckily for me wore off at 3/4 months) was champagne. Try it. It will also help you to cope with infuriating comments.

scottishmummy · 21/06/2009 19:58

ah the ole "you just need to snap out of it" treatment for PND.infuriating

CacklingandBarking · 21/06/2009 20:03

Throw up on the stupid cow then comment 'looks real to me'!

duchesse · 21/06/2009 20:51

Interestingly, I have found scientific articles linking HG to unusually low TSH levels (TSH is the hormone that stimulates the thyroid). Since low thyroid levels are linked in some women to miscarriage and foetal abnormalities, it would make some sense to equate pregnancy sickness with a well-functioning thyroid and hence to a more secure pregnancy. The foetus relies totally on its mother's thyroid for the first 11 to 12 weeks of pregnancy, so low levels (potentially accompanied by lack of sickness) could link that lack of sickness to higher rates of m/c.

Just a thought.

duchesse · 21/06/2009 20:52

Interestingly, I have found scientific articles linking HG to unusually low TSH levels (TSH is the hormone that stimulates the thyroid- the higher the number, the more the pituitary is attempting to stimulate an unresponsive thyroid). Since low thyroid levels are linked in some women to miscarriage and foetal abnormalities, it would make some sense to equate pregnancy sickness with a well-functioning thyroid and hence to a more secure pregnancy. The foetus relies totally on its mother's thyroid for the first 11 to 12 weeks of pregnancy, so low levels (potentially accompanied by lack of sickness) could link that lack of sickness to higher rates of m/c.

Just a thought.

releasethehounds · 21/06/2009 20:52

Jumping back in on this thread. Also ...

if morning sickness is psychological why did I have terrible sickness with my 2 DDs and no sickness whatsoever with my 3 miscarriages. Whilst the sickness was awful, I was quite relieved to get it during pregnancy because it can be a sign that things are working as they should

glucose · 21/06/2009 20:55

I puked so much for the first 16 wks that I still weigh less than pre pregnancy (dd 4 yo) and I will never not ever get pregnant again.

wb · 21/06/2009 21:01

YANBU to be angry but to be honest it made me laugh out loud.

Morning sickness. Psychological? I f-ing wish!

policywonk · 21/06/2009 21:11

duchesse, I thought that was pretty much orthodoxy - that HG is related to high hormone levels, which are better (in terms of a successful pg) than low hormone levels. (Did not know about the TSH though.)

I've always found male GPs to be much more sympathetic on this issue than female GPs.

babyicebean · 21/06/2009 23:12

I had HG with the three of mine and nothing with the one we lost.

The daft mare next door went on and on and on about how she felt 'a bit nauseous' when she woke first thing but it wore off after a ginger biscuit.Bully for her, I showed her the bleeding blisters on my lips,tongue,gum and chin from the stomach acid that I had suceeded in getting rid of totally.She got really p'd off when she had put a stone and a half on after baby was born, I lost 3 stone due to the sickness.That was the last baby I had the previous ones I lost about the same each time.Not a way to loose weight at all.

hmc · 21/06/2009 23:30

You are only feeling mad because you didn't deal with it there and then. I would have said something extremely cutting and bitingly acerbic to misguided ingnoramus - there and then. She would have been speechless and gaping and I would have felt really good . I do recommend this approach. So much healthier than keeping your counsel and bottling it up.

I'm with you on the morning sickness - in the mind, my f**king arse. It was dreadful.

This reminds me of my grandma (never liked her) - she was in back seat of car with me when I was about 7 years old and told me - green around the gills as I was - car sickness is all in the mind. With great satisfaction I threw up all over the rancid old bat 5 minutes later.

simplesusan · 21/06/2009 23:48

Morning sickness is not psychological , the woman and her doctor are twats.
Pity you cannot vomit to order all over the pair of them.

differentnameforthis · 22/06/2009 02:40

She is of course, talking out of her arse!

I knew at 5 weeks that I was pregnant after what must have been a birth control failure, because we were trying v hard to prevent it!

I didn't & couldn't have known then that I was pregnant but had horrendous sickness!

Original poster
Lishylooloo · 22/06/2009 08:52

Hmc, you are totally right. I wish I had some smart answer ready for the silly cow. I didn't even give her a dirty look! Anyway if someone ever says that again I'm now armed (from this thread) withplenty to say!

fWIW I tried acupuncture at week 12. It seemed to help although the ms was probably going to improve then anyway.

OP posts:
becstarlitsea · 22/06/2009 09:18

I had horrid MS for the whole 9 months, needed to be on a drip twice because of dehydration, and my MIL said something similar to me. Except she went one further - she said that MS is psychological and it's when the woman isn't maternal enough, and the vomiting is a sign that she's rejecting her baby and that I just needed to 'accept' the baby and the MS would go away. I didn't even speak when she said it I just sat there going .

My MIL is actually very kind, she just has a brain full of total shit which she believes to be true. So she does very kind things, but just says these incredibly tactless things in a 'Did you know...' way. Just ignorance.

Anyway I just dropped into conversation over the next few months the points others have mentioned (higher IQ, lower risk of miscarriage, lower risk of birth defects, link to higher HcG level which shows baby is growing well,) and tried my best not to throttle the silly old bint. I'm glad I succeeded in not throttling her because she's a very useful babysitter. (and also DH would have been a bit sad if I'd killed her, I s'pose).

funtimewincies · 22/06/2009 19:10

The next person who told me to eat a ginger biscuit was in danger of getting one shoved where global warming won't be a problem!