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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want a really "girly" girl

40 replies

Rollergirl1 · 19/06/2009 21:48

My DD is 3. She is such a "girl" it's unreal. She wants to wear floor length dresses every day. She will no longer let me put her hair in a pony-tail or plait because then it's "not long" like cinderella or sleeping beauty. She hates wearing shorts or even dresses or skirts that aren't long.

When she is at nursery (3 days a week i tell her she has to wear practical stuff) but the other days she wants to wear long dresses all the time. She ends up looking like she's going to a party when we're just going to tesco's.

I'm pretty sure i didn't make her like this. I am not an especially girly girl myself. Where does it come from??!

OP posts:

harleyd · 19/06/2009 21:50

and so what! leave her to it

Hulababy · 19/06/2009 21:50

She is who she is. Let her enjoy it, and just enjoy her for being a little girl.

I was never a girly girl, but my DD was born to be one - she;s 7 now and although still very girl not into the pribcess dresses now. And I love it all

TheOldestCat · 19/06/2009 21:50

I don't know, but in a similar boat with DD (aged 2-and-a-half). She has now decided she won't read Thomas the Tank engine because (indignant voice) 'that's for boys, mummy' and runs around in long dresses shouting 'I'm a princess'.

I'm not very girly at all. So is it nature rather than nurture then?

Jumente · 19/06/2009 21:51

Tis normal, nothing wrong with it imo! he'll probably grow up totally the opposite if she gets it over with now

I guess you can't choose what kind of child you get. I have one I relate to massively and another I struggle to understand.

HairyMuff · 19/06/2009 21:52

My DD did that at 3. She's nearly 7 now and will happily wear jeans and shorts and no longer goes to Sainsburys dressed as Belle. Let her enjoy it, its a phase.

Tidey · 19/06/2009 21:52

Some girls just are really girly. She'll probably grow out of it and you'll have to bribe her to stop her wearing jeans.

I don't mind how my DD turns out, as long as she doesn't want those glitter-festooned Lelli Kelly shoes.

NightShoe · 19/06/2009 21:52

YANBU, I am so glad I don't I have a girly girl. I feel a secret glow when DD (also 3) comes out of nursery with great big holes in the knees of her jeans and dismisses things for being too pink. I was especially proud when at the park an older boy said to her that she couldn't climb to the top of the climbing frame because she was a girl and no only did she beat him to the top, but he got stuck halfway mwahhahahaha

Original poster

Rollergirl1 · 19/06/2009 21:53

harleyd: besides the fact that i don't want her being so prissy, i don't have enough clothes for her taste. I am damned if i am going to be dictated to by a 3yr old on what she can wear!

OP posts:

Jumente · 19/06/2009 21:53

Sorry she, not he!

I loved dollies and now I prefer using a pick axe or drill to doing girly stuff (whatever that is now). You do change iyswim.

hester · 19/06/2009 21:53

It's rebellion. My mum always discouraged girly play (I had an Action Man) and I grew up very girly. I was soooo pleased to get a dd, but so far it's dinosaurs and Diego all the way.

Jumente · 19/06/2009 21:54

Yeah but I think the more you push the worse it'll get.

Why shouldn't she choose what she wants to wear? Would you like to be told? Do you remember being that age?> I remember being three and having pair upon pair of hideous nylon stretchy trousers. Blue ones. I didn't care that much but some kids do.

ray81 · 19/06/2009 21:54

I think some girls are just 'Girly girls' my dd is and she is 7. likes all things pink and purple, dressess skirts, shoes handbags etc.
I think the important thing is is to remember you are the adult, my DD does not choose what she wears, I do and if she doesnt like it it;s tuff. She can have more choice as she gets older but not now.
I have a friend who has DD the same age and she wears nothing but black all the time at 7 and i realy dont understand it and have told her so.
To let a 3 yr old tell you what you can and cannot do with her hair is mad too i think.

NightShoe · 19/06/2009 21:55

Oh yes, Diego and dinosaurs here too. Apparently Dora is "boring" and doesn't do much.

ByTheSea · 19/06/2009 21:57

When DD1-10 was 3, she was quite girly. She grew out of it.

Hulababy · 19/06/2009 21:58

Also don;t underestimate what a girly girl can get up to whilst wearing those long frilly dresses. Nothing stopped DD. She'd still be at the top of the climbing frame, climbing trees and running faster than the other children around her.

But do let them be as they are.

Hulababy · 19/06/2009 21:59

Oh, and my DD has always had some input into her clothes, obviously within reason. She is 7 now and has more and more say when we go shopping, again within reason. Why on earth should she not get to have a say in what she wears?

maryz · 19/06/2009 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Rollergirl1 · 19/06/2009 22:07

Thanks all. She doesn't like dolls that much. Just wants to be pretty with long hair and get married with a veil. I recently bought some indecent killer shoes for a night out(with hubby). She was like "oh mummy, look at your shoes, they make a noise" and wanted to wear them instantly.

OP posts:

Doodle2u · 19/06/2009 22:09

YABU.

makedoandmend · 19/06/2009 22:09

If it helps one of my friend's twins was a real pink freak up until the age of about six, then suddenly one day dumped all her pink clothes in the bin and announced 'mummy i don't like pink anymore'. Mummy had to explain that she would have to wear pink a bit longer until they could afford to buy some new clothes...

pointydog · 19/06/2009 22:12

Everychild is an indivisual. You don't get what you want, you get what you get

Karam · 19/06/2009 22:22

My DD2 is the same, and I don't know where she gets it from!

DD1 is a bit of a tomboy - loves playing with her car garage and train set, lives in jeans and can beat any boy on the tall slides and playgrounds.

So after DD1, DD2 came as a complete shock. She too insists on wearing party dresses every day (I still choose what clothes DD1 will wear, she has no interest), everything is pink and fluffy and absolutely has to match. I don't know where she gets it from, and more upsetting I have about 15 pairs of jeans left over from DD1 that DD2 absolutely refuses to wear as she declared to me this morning "I don't do trousers". She is 2 and a half!

oodlesofpoodles · 19/06/2009 22:29

My dd is really girly too. I have never been girly so I find I have to put in extra effort to relate to her. The anti pink militia make me feel like I have forced her to be like that which is a bit annoying. She doesn't have the stereotypical negative aspects of girlyness, she just likes dresses and princesses.

kitkatqueen · 19/06/2009 22:42

In another couple of years she will start having to wear school uniform and will never get to choose, let her be an individual while she can

I've taken my girls shopping dressed as princesses, witches and all sorts, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?

LOL at your op title, I thought you wanted to return her.

katiestar · 19/06/2009 22:53

What actually is wrong with being girly ? Why would you think being feminine is bad and tom-boy good ?

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