To not want a really "girly" girl

[Rollergirl1]

My DD is 3. She is such a "girl" it's unreal. She wants to wear floor length dresses every day. She will no longer let me put her hair in a pony-tail or plait because then it's "not long" like cinderella or sleeping beauty. She hates wearing shorts or even dresses or skirts that aren't long.

When she is at nursery (3 days a week i tell her she has to wear practical stuff) but the other days she wants to wear long dresses all the time. She ends up looking like she's going to a party when we're just going to tesco's.

I'm pretty sure i didn't make her like this. I am not an especially girly girl myself. Where does it come from??!

My dd1 (nearly 5) is exactly same and dd2 (2) looks to be following suit. I often take out two 'princesses' to do the shopping or school run. It bothered me for a bit (just the impracticality of getting on and off buses etc), then I figured dd1 didn't have too much longer till she'll be stuck in school uniform so I just go with it now and more or less let the dcs choose what they want to wear.

Actually my dcs are all pretty much into everything really, ds1 was singing the opening theme tune to Sleeping Beauty this morning, while dd1 was packing his cars into her bag.

I was going to say as an ex-goth she doesn't get it from me, but actually I love an excuse for dressing up days, so maybe I did bring it on myself. I have a pink medieval princess dress dh made me a few years ago that dd1 loves.

And if you had a girly boy?

Just be thankful for what you've got.

YABU

I have one of those. Dd (3) won't wear bob-the-builder pull-ups because they're for boys (well yes I know they are actually I just wasn't paying attention when I bought them). It's all flouncey skirts and dressing up shoes. And tiaras. And wands.

I need a T-shirt that says: Don't look at me, she chose her own outfit.

I don't understand where little girls ( under school age) get the idea of being girly girls unless they are watching Disney princess films and such... if you really object to it, get her into outdoor stuff... she'll either get into the 'gear' or end up looking like a 'raggle taggle gypsie oh'.. either way it's lovely on a little un !

I have always been amazed by my very girly dd1. I'm not girly at all, and certainly didn't bring her up that way. I bought her dolls, yes, but I also bought her cars, trains, trucks etc.

She announced quite huffily one Christmas morning that Father Christmas has obviously been to the wrong house "because this is a boys toy!" when opening a 'hot wheels' set

The balance was very much restored though through bug-loving, garden digging, tree-climbing dd2

Dd3 is a mix of the two atm ...time will tell ...

I have a friend (both of us moms are sporty scruffy types) who used to moan about how 'girly' her 4yo DD was. And her DD wasn't half as girly as my DD. MY DD only wore dresses, wouldn't let her hands get messy, wanted to be a princess and nothing else when she grew up, etc.

NOW DD is 7, and she loves Dinosaurs, Dirty Bertie, brings dead birds in the house to breed maggots, she hates all things girly, she calls herself a tom-boy (she isn't really, but she's not girly any more, either). They do change!! Enjoy it while it lasts, I suggest.

YABU

Your daughter is not a part of you, she is her own person. Let her wear what she wants.

I don't think you're being unreasonable - gender stereotypes are pernicious- bad for boys AND girls. When ds was 2 he liked singing songs from Mary Poppins and virtually everyone, even generally sensible friends, implied or said outright that I ought to stop him as it was 'a bit gay' to sing show tunes! He was 2 ffs!!! Who cares anyway? How bigoted!
Also was advised not to buy him a pretend kitchen. Or a doll's house, even though everywhere we went that had one he would make a beeline for it and start making up stories about the people etc.
I guess children just need to be shown all the options, not shoehorned into what is supposedly 'right and proper' for their gender.

Just let her get on with it. If you start to try and steer her away you will just make her either embaressed or rebellious.
I have a girly girly 6 year old who wants to know how to put on make up and has already asked for some of my dresses and shoes when I die ( soonish apparently ).
She still loves rugby and climbing and science and is very athletic and adventurous.

She is who she is. let her get on with it.
If you want her to be strong and resourceful your unquestioning love and admiration will achieve that quicker than forcing her into jeans

I am the proud mother of two perfect stereotypes. I tried really hard to be as gender neutral as possible when they were tiny, but they slotted into the 'girl' and 'boy" stereotypes as soon as they were old enough to express a preference.

Don't dispair, though. My dd is 13 and still very girly in many ways, but she loves sport and riding and camping and sailing and charging about the countryside - she just does it in co-ordinated clothes, straightened hair and mascara!

I am nothing like a 'girly' girl either. Dd's are both girly girls tho,dd1 more so.

You can't change your dd and you shouldn't try IMO.

Leave her alone and let her be.

It's a phase many of them go through at this age as far as I can tell. She'll grow out of it, don't worry

YABU - she is her own person, let her be who she wants to be.

I don't think you get a choice. I was expecting a tomboy but have apparently given birth to Her Royal Highness Princess Fairy Toes, Ruler of Glittertopia, Sovereign of Frillyfluffyville, Keeper of the Sparkle Dust, Emperess of Pink, Divine Head of Bubblegum and Lollipops, Defender of the Fwuffy Bunnies and Kitties, and key sponsor of the Barbie Jewelery Division.

yanbu to be a bit irritated, even though of course we have to let their own little personalities develop, etc, I am vastly relieved that with 3 dds I only have one who's even vaguely girly, and even she isn't a disney princess type - she just likes dresses and pink, and will occasionally wear hair accessories, unlike her sisters.

I love having non-girly girls (they call themeselves tomboys, proudly), partly because I relate to it, partly because I loathe disney and am not keen on princesses (or royal families at all). So it is a relief not to be swamped in pink disney glittery plastic.