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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Boyfriend, 3.5yo

26 replies

Claire2009 · 19/06/2009 20:24

I know there's joking, but at 3.5yo?

Seriously? Would you giggle/laugh question you're 3.5yo Dd about her 'boyfriend' at Nursery?

My Dd is 3.4yo and I certainly wouldn't!

The girl was saying ;

Mum -"Ohh, what's you're boyfriends name then?"
Dd - "Layton"
Mum - "What does Layton look like? Is he nice?"

I didn't hear anymore, but does anyone else think "Too much too soon?"

OP posts:

hercules1 · 19/06/2009 20:25

YOu are being so unreasonable. Dd has been discussing her "boyfriends" with me since she was 3. SHe's 5 and has two at teh moment.

WHere on earth is the harm??

Heated · 19/06/2009 20:27

Yep. It's naff.

Niftyblue · 19/06/2009 20:28

DD is 6 and has boyfriends and has done since nursery.
Sometimes she can have 2/3 by the end of the day depending if she is in bad mood or not

She calls them boyfriends not me

panicpants · 19/06/2009 20:30

It's horrible, cringeworthy and crass.

FenellaFudge · 19/06/2009 20:31

It sounds silly.
A 3yo would refer to friends - boys or girls - as friends naturally, surely?
So it comes from the parent or some other adult and then the child repeats it.
Agree with naff.

theinsider · 19/06/2009 20:33

I've always assumed they don't understand in the slightest a sexual element to it, and merely mean a "friend who is a boy/girl" in a completely innocent way. It's just about the age they're really getting the difference between boys and girls.

So I think YABU, sorry.

paisleyleaf · 19/06/2009 20:37

I hear it a few times too
the mum's are smurky and giggly about it, so don't simply mean a boy (or girl) who is a friend.
I feel the same way as panicpants.

HarrietSchulenberg · 19/06/2009 20:40

DS2 is now 6 and has only recently stopped calling male friends "boyfriends" and female friends "girlfriends". He didn't mean the terms in the way adults mean them - they were just words to differentiate between male and female mates.

All very innocent until he spotted a male parent friend of mine and bellowed across the playground, "Look, there's your BOYFRIEND mummy".

EyePeam · 19/06/2009 20:40

I agree with you OP it's grim. all part and parcel of the early sexualisation of children that seems to be happening more in our society, particularly for girls.

hercules1 · 19/06/2009 20:44

No, it's the adults who are putting teh sexual connotation on it. Ds had 2 wives when he was 4 and now at 13 is just becoming properly interested in girls although far away from actually anything like a date.

Next you'll all be saying nail varnish on little girls equals slutty.

hercules1 · 19/06/2009 20:46

early sexualisation for girls happening more in our society - erm, a few years ago girls were getting married at much younger ages, go back a bit more in history and even younger.

mumeeee · 19/06/2009 22:21

Yanbu. I don't like adults asking small children about boyfiends.

nancy75 · 19/06/2009 22:26

sometimes the child will just say this kind of stuff themselves. at xmas my dd (3 at the time) announced that joshua was her boyfriend at nursery, because he ahd helped her pull a xmas cracker. i asked her why she had called him her boyfriend - because he is my friend and he is a boy was her rather obvious response

SpawnChorus · 19/06/2009 22:30

YANBU. On a par with little girls wearing grown-up style bikinis or make-up. Yuck.

Portofino · 19/06/2009 22:35

My dd (now 5) has been telling me for a long time about who she "loves" at school, and who she is going to marry. She is in love with such and such, but sadly he isn;t in love with her, but with her friend etc etc. I just tell her that she will meet plenty of nice boys and there's no hurry...

I think she has maybe watched too many Disney Princess movies.......I don't honestly think it has anything to do with early sexualisation! Hey, one week she wanted to marry Daddy, and when i explained that she couldn;t, she wanted to marry me instead.

In fact I told her she couldn't marry me as I was Mummy, and couldn't marry girls. She told me that it was quite alright to marry girls - her teacher had told her it was. And actually I had to stop and say that she was in fact quite right!

ZipadiSoozi · 19/06/2009 22:37

Aw cute arn't they, my dts are 5yo and have sorted who they are marrying at school already, trouble is ds is going to marry the same girl as his best friend and dd has to marry her boyfriend cause they have kissed!!!!! so cute!!!!

All innocent at this young age!

jemart · 19/06/2009 22:41

My dd keeps telling me which little boy she's going to marry. she's 4.

Morloth · 19/06/2009 22:45

There has been much bickering in DS's reception class over who is marrying who.

I think it is cute and funny.

OldMama · 19/06/2009 22:49

My son, just turned 5, is already on 2nd 'wife' although he has been a bit quieter about it lately. He often says he wants to marry me, when I explain that he is not allowed to, he just says that loves me soo much!

Honneybunny · 19/06/2009 22:56

i posted this about a week ago, but my ds2 has got a "crush" on one of the girls in his group at nursery. he's 3.5yo.

ds2: mama, i really like m**
me: she is a very nice girl isn't she?
ds2 - with grin on his face and blushing slightly-: yes, she has got nice hair, and a nice face and nice trousers
and when i am big i will marry her, and we will have 99 babies.

ok....
poor girl, now that's where i'd draw the line..

the boyfriend/girlfriend discussion at 3.5yo is pretty innocent imo and ime.

midlandsmumof4 · 19/06/2009 22:58

You are joking surely? This isn't a new thing. My oldest is now 28 and I can remember his first girlfriend at nursery (they should be celebrating their Silver wedding this year ).

Portofino · 19/06/2009 23:02

I guess that they must feel all these emotions and try hard to make sense of them all. It kind of makes sense to me that at age, their main experience of "relationships" is that of their parents, and that of their parents to them...hence, you love mummy/daddy so you want to marry them...

SerendipitousHarlot · 19/06/2009 23:11

Early sexualisation? Oh please

It's just children being children! Some of you really think too much about things

My dd is 11 and had boyfriends at infants and throughout juniors. She is not in any way interested in boys sexually, trust me. My ds, almost 4, says that he has a gf at nursery and she is beautiful. Dear little soul.

Relax, for heavens sake.

TheLadyEvenstar · 19/06/2009 23:13

LOL DS1 was going to marry Britney Spears in the park with chicken and chips and a lollipop when he was 3 1/2...

Now he is staying single forever.

Goblinchild · 19/06/2009 23:16

I do get a bit fed up with the bitchfights of 9 year olds though, with them calling each other slags and slappers because A fancies Bs boyfriend and has been luring him with her feminine wiles.
The boys tend to get confused and then dump them and go and play football with their (male) mates.

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