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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

annoyed that nobody has come to visit DC4

41 replies

Nemoandthefishes · 17/06/2009 16:45

she was born on sat and came home on sunday and has not had a single visitor. I understand friends who have all been rather nice and called and booked in times to visit etc but PIL and my mum and sisters have not been to see her or even phoned to see how she is doing. am feeling really peeved towards them like the birth of dd3 is a non event in their lives!!

OP posts:
Lulumama · 17/06/2009 16:47

congratulations nemo, was wondering if you had had your baby yet!!

maybe people are staying away as presuming that you will have so much on now with 4 DCs that visitors won;t be welcome

or they are waiting to be invited

or they are jsut rude!

foolsgold · 17/06/2009 16:49

Congratulations! Sorry you feel that way, I have to say I'd be reluctant to impose on someone in your situation, unless you were family or as good as. They might be waiting to hear from you / be invited. Why not ask them over for tea one day next week?

booyhoo · 17/06/2009 16:49

im with you on that, when ds1 was born you couldnt move in the house the nite e came home from hosp, and it was the day my uncle was buried so i really wasnt expecting any visitors but ds2 was born 3 weeks ago and i have had 3 visitors. really disappointed tbh but it shows them for who they are.

boodleboot · 17/06/2009 16:51

congrats on your baby...brilliant. does she have a name?

i can totally understand why you are a bit annoyed - i would be fuming....mums and sisters DEFINITELY should have been to visit their new niece/granddaughter by now....poor you - i hope the birth wasn't too traumatic and that the little one is settling in well

Rubyrubyrubyinthegame · 17/06/2009 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nickschick · 17/06/2009 16:53

Nemo congrats if you lived near me Id come and visit I lurrrrve new babies .

No you arent being unreasonable - id be bloody cross too.

BCNS · 17/06/2009 16:55

congrats nemo!!

oooh I'd visit and snuffle a little head

YANBU

Original poster
Nemoandthefishes · 17/06/2009 17:00

thanks all

as I said its not friends they have called and arranged times to visit etc which is lovely. It is just that neither dhs family nor mine seem interested in the slightest.

OP posts:
jennymac · 17/06/2009 17:04

YANBU - when dd was born we were overloaded with visitors (to the extent that I would have been happy not to see anyone again for months - except family of course!). When ds was born just 17months later we hardly had any visitors for weeks. I think one of the reasons was that he was born near the end of January,when lots of people had colds/flus and I also have sneaky suspicion that people were waiting for Feb to get paid again before buying a present and didn't want to come round without one! I was obviously over emotional being post-natal and tired but I felt that no one really cared that he had been born and felt irrationally upset on his behalf (as if he would feel rejected on some level - so daft!) I was again really annoyed when both his godparents forgot his 1st birthday, although of course he was too young to know any better. So all in all, I totally understand how you feel but think that people will start to call round soon!

sweetkitty · 17/06/2009 17:09

oh Nemo how horrid for you

If it were me I would phone and ask direct "so when are you going to come and see baby X, you know sheis 5 days old and no one seems in the least bit interested in her" shame them a bit.

PacificDogwood · 17/06/2009 17:09

Nemo, congratulations, hope you are both well and enjoying each others company.

Of course YANBU at all - but maybe a bit hormonal?? I mean this in the nicest possible way, I know I was an emotional wreck for the first week or so after DS3.
I do hope they will soon all rally round and welcome your new baby to the wider family.
Consider yourself on babymoon at the mo'...

Heated · 17/06/2009 17:12

Ooooh, I'd come and have a cuddle & sniff - nb babies are scrumptious. Congratulations btw! Am surprised they've not rung to at least arrange a convenient time to visit but agree there's a definite trailing off after popping out the first one!

psychomum5 · 17/06/2009 17:17

oh, thats really .

I would jump at the chance......love new babies, and the snugglyness, the smell of their head.....

SarahL2 · 17/06/2009 18:20

I know just how you feel.

My DC2 is due at the end of December. This baby will be GC7 for my in-laws. They have booked a holiday to spend new years in Prague and will miss the first week or so of DC's life if I am anything over 3 days late!! As DS was induced at 6 days over I am not holding out much hope that they will see DC2 at birth.

Feels like they're just not interested anymore

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 17/06/2009 18:23

YANBU

I will be an honourary sister and come for a cuddle bringing presents and cakes if you like.

Someone remembered to tell your family the baby was here, didn't they??

PinkTulips · 17/06/2009 18:23

ds1 is almost 3 and ds2 is 4 months and their only aunt and uncle haven't met them yet (dp's brother and sister)

i have second cousins who showed more interest ffs!

dp's parents still haven't met ds2

psychomum5 · 17/06/2009 18:26

not that it will make you feel better, but my family disowned me when I announced DS2 was on his way (through jealousy I later found out, as I was the only one with a successful marriage), and he is 7 almost, and only my mother and aunt have met him......no-one else

makes my blood boil......makes it feel as tho the more you have, the less special they are, and yet, all babies should be celebrated!!

TheMadHouse · 17/06/2009 18:26

Congratualtions nemo, does she have a name???

Oh and you are not being unreasonable. Bloody family why oh why are they like that - mine where too!

Cadmum · 17/06/2009 18:33

I don't really know what to say...

I was hoping that this was not your thread, Nemo.

Shocking behaviour and unless there is a very good reason for the lack of contact then YANBU.

I am sorry. and for you.

BONKERZ · 17/06/2009 18:34

oh nemo im sorry your family are being distant right now. My SIL said that noone was that bothered when she had her fourth baby either! I have not been as active in the baby department as you so cannot comment!
As your doppel you know that if i lived closer id be there in a heartbeat.
dont let it get you down mate. Their loss!
Maybe you should make a phone call to tell them they dont have to wait for that expensive present to arrive before they visit! win win situation that way....they will prob feel very guilty and buy more pressies! LOL

i can guess you next thread will be titled......AIBU TO BE ANNOYED THAT FAMILY ALL TURN UP TOGETHER TO SEE DC4 RATHER THAN BOOKING IN AT PRE ARRANGED SLOTS! LOL

Cadmum · 17/06/2009 18:34

Not even a phone call?! Really?

They do know that she was born, right?

lockets · 17/06/2009 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Scorps · 17/06/2009 18:38

Congrats Nemo

Maybe they are worried you have enough to do, or are plain rude.

mrsdisorganised · 17/06/2009 18:38

YANBU!!!!

Congratulations Nemo!
I would feel hurt and angry too, it is very rude and unfeeling especially being your family! Big hugs to you.x

Agree with Psycho though, it does seem that the more you have the less improtant they are I am pg with dc5 and if the reaction to that is anything to go by I am not expecting much after his/her birth!

Enjoy your lovely baby and try not to think about their thoughtlessness (sp?)

Scorps · 17/06/2009 18:38

DH's paremts didn't meet Mimi until she was nearly 9 months; their loss.

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