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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have called the police?

66 replies

SerendipitousHarlot · 15/06/2009 14:47

Has she seriously left the baby by itself?

So my lovely Polish neighbour knocked on the door about half an hour ago, in tears, because she can hear the baby across the street screaming its head off for about half an hour - she had been knocking on the door with no answer.

I've knocked, dh has knocked, nearly knocking the door down, and nothing... meantime the baby is really really distressed.

So I called the police - while we were waiting for them to come, the lady of the house turned up carrying loads of supermarket bags

Obviously I went straight over and explained that I'd called the police and why - I asked her if there was someone in the house with the baby and she said yes. Then let herself in pretty sharpish and shut the door in my face

So the police are here, and she won't answer the front door, saying that she's lost the key That key that I just saw her let herself in with, yeah?

Am I gonna get shit through my letterbox?

I cannot BELIEVE that someone would leave a little baby in the house alone to go shopping I'm really fucking angry

(the baby is ok btw, I've seen her)

OP posts:

petnik · 15/06/2009 14:51

This is unbelievable! Don't worry about getting shit through your letterbox she is in deep shit and will prob be too shamed to show her face. ou did the right thing calling the police. Good on you.

poshwellies · 15/06/2009 14:52

Of course you are not being unreasonable.

I would of done the same.

Stupid fucking woman.

bellavita · 15/06/2009 14:52

Blimey

So, are the police left standing outside too?

SomeGuy · 15/06/2009 14:53

So have the police gone away without doing anything?

SolidGoldBrass · 15/06/2009 14:54

How much do you know about this family (before getting into the predictable what-a-bitch-that-woman-must-be)? Is it ust her and the baby, or is it possible that she left someone else in charge while she went shopping and that individual either abandoned the baby or went to sleep in a drugged/drunken stupor?

Oh and if the women won't answer the door, how come you have seen the baby?

Lulumama · 15/06/2009 14:56

i think you did the right thing

if you were all hammering on the door, no-one answered and you could hear a distressed baby ctying.. and it has been half an hour then it was the right thing

if she had left the baby alone, perhaps the fright of the police and neighbours on her doorstep will make her think twice before doing it again

if she had left the baby in teh charge of someone else, who then disappeared or was insensible through drink or drugs, she needs to know that, so either way, it was the right thing

GypsyMoth · 15/06/2009 14:57

Who had the baby when you saw it?

Was the baby getting more and more distressed with all the door banging maybe?

Heated · 15/06/2009 14:57

Presumably the police with notify the ss/hv etc and they will be visiting. She ought to be glad she has neighbours who look out for one another - she could have been collapsed unconscious at home or something. If she ever pokes her nose out of her house again you could tell her that. Maybe she'd welcome friendship? some support? That's not a criticism levelled you btw, she sounds very private, but just to allay your fears re retaliation.

Original poster

SerendipitousHarlot · 15/06/2009 14:58

I'm ashamed to say, I've never seen her before, Solid. Or the baby.

The police came and she wouldn't let them in. She was in the bedroom window having a conversation whilst holding the baby - she was telling the policeman that she had left someone in charge of the baby, so he asked to see that person, and she said no

He's gone now. I don't know what happens with this sort of thing.

I sound like I'm being judgemental, gawd knows I left both of mine to cry sometimes - but I'm pretty sure there was nobody in that house.

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 15/06/2009 14:58

I think you did the right thing

if as SGB says she didn't leave the baby alone or left it with someone who let her down, the police will be able to discern that

but if she did leave the baby alone, then it is your business, and mine, and anyone else's who cares about children. IMO.

Original poster

SerendipitousHarlot · 15/06/2009 14:59

That's what worried me at first Heated, when we couldn't get an answer - I thought that somebody might be hurt inside.

OP posts:

SolidGoldBrass · 15/06/2009 15:04

I think you did the right thing (it is/was possible that the person left in charge of baby lapsed into a diabetic coma, had a fit or fell down the stairs after all).
Hopefully she will get help now if she needs some (it may have been a case of, desperately need supplies, think you might be able to get away with it because you are not thinking straight after weeks of sleep deprivation, etc: she may simply need a bit of extra support.)

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 15/06/2009 15:12

I had to do this to a neighbour. She had been out drinking and I had babysat. I went home and could hear the baby crying for ages, I knocked and she wasn't answering. I called the police who got in through an open window, she was really fast asleep, didn't even hear the dog barking. I stayed the night. I did feel terrible after though, I thought something had happened to her. The police were lovely.

MissSunny · 15/06/2009 15:21

Message withdrawn

Stigaloid · 15/06/2009 15:35

OMG! Am so shocked by this - you definitely did the right thing. That woman is a looney - anything could have happened.

SolidGoldBrass · 15/06/2009 21:18

NOw, you see, Stigaloid, that's a dumb response. We don't, any of us know that the woman deliberately left the baby alone. As has been said:
She could have left another person with the baby and that other person could have gone out, been taken suddenly ill or had an accident.
I do not think SH was wrong at all to call the police in the circumstances (FWIW I used to have a constant worry that something might happen to me like falling down the stairs or dying in my sleep and would anyone find DS and look after him?) But assuming that the woman is stupid or malevolent or not coping is daft when you know nothing of the situation.

MrsMcCluskey · 15/06/2009 21:23

You def did the thing.
Think the Police fficer should have been more robust and demanded to be let in and check baby - if it had been me I would have threatened to put the door in.
I hope he puts a referral in to SSD.

ThePhantomPlopper · 15/06/2009 21:26

Yes you did the right thing.

nigglewiggle · 15/06/2009 21:28

I too am surprised that the officer didn't 'insist' on being allowed entry. They have a duty to check on the welfare of the child and I don't think you can do that from a bedroom window.

You did the right thing BTW.

sleepymommy · 15/06/2009 21:31

SGB, that's very harsh. We all make assumotions, and leaving a baby alone is a stupid thing to do, whatever your circumstances.

dorisbonkers · 15/06/2009 21:32

My mother used to leave me and proudly told me about it. "You used to be so soundly asleep and like clockwork so I could nip to the shop on the corner. You see if you don't do it with your daughter" Erm, yes, right.

We don't see eye to eye. She thinks I'm nuts that I won't leave my baby to cry at all.

chegirl · 15/06/2009 21:33

Perhaps this has given her the shock she needs. NOT to leave the baby alone again or leave it with someone so unreliable to leave the baby screaming.

It is pretty hard not to juge in these cases. It doesnt make her an evil bitch but there is NO excuse for going to the supermarket and leaving a baby alone.

I have been on my own with two under two. There was no time when I needed to leave any one of them. Even if they are poorly you can bundle them up, stick the rain cover over and nip to the corner shop for nappies if you have to.

I hope she gets the help she needs to keep her baby safe.

katiestar · 15/06/2009 21:57

You were def NBU
A good result I'd say.The police won't be able to pursue it because they've no evidence but IF (and i say if)the baby was alone,she'll think twice next time.

Niggle wiggle - he would have to have had a warrant I think to insist on being let in.

pickyvic · 15/06/2009 22:10

thing is - im speaking as a special here - the police only have so many powers at their disposal, and you have to have a reason to demand someone let you in to their house unless you suspect a crime is being commited or you have reason to suspect.
hearsay from a neighbour isnt a reason to demand to be let in and trust me id be as pissed off as the rest of you for this. if it was me id not leave it there, but the officer may have no choice but to leave it - what can he actually do? legally i mean. the police do have powers to search someones home but only for specific things, if the police had got there before she got back theyd have had every legal right to break in under section 17, i wish theyd got there before her.
she is obviously a very stupid woman.

nigglewiggle · 15/06/2009 22:11

No he wouldn't Katie. He has a power to enter under PACE to protect life and limb and in the circumstances entry would have been justified to ensure that the child was safe.

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