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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have called the police?

66 replies

SerendipitousHarlot · 15/06/2009 14:47

Has she seriously left the baby by itself?

So my lovely Polish neighbour knocked on the door about half an hour ago, in tears, because she can hear the baby across the street screaming its head off for about half an hour - she had been knocking on the door with no answer.

I've knocked, dh has knocked, nearly knocking the door down, and nothing... meantime the baby is really really distressed.

So I called the police - while we were waiting for them to come, the lady of the house turned up carrying loads of supermarket bags

Obviously I went straight over and explained that I'd called the police and why - I asked her if there was someone in the house with the baby and she said yes. Then let herself in pretty sharpish and shut the door in my face

So the police are here, and she won't answer the front door, saying that she's lost the key That key that I just saw her let herself in with, yeah?

Am I gonna get shit through my letterbox?

I cannot BELIEVE that someone would leave a little baby in the house alone to go shopping I'm really fucking angry

(the baby is ok btw, I've seen her)

OP posts:

Horton · 15/06/2009 22:15

That is horrible. Well done for calling the police, you did exactly the right thing.

edam · 15/06/2009 22:18

picky, I assume the officer would contact SS?

nigglewiggle · 15/06/2009 22:23

There is a standard referral process in these circumstances. But there are also offences relating to neglect of the child which the police could pursue. The officer would also have been in a better position to gather all of the evidence if he had been into the home.

Perhaps she had good reasons/ explanations, and we don't know the full circumstances, but I still think the officer should have gone into the home.

LastOrders · 15/06/2009 22:23

Could I just add something, and I don't condone this sort of behaviour at all, but when me & my brother were young, my Mum would quite often pop round to the launderette whilst we were asleep to dry washing so we had uniform/clothes the next day. I often remember waking (I was about 4, my bro 6) and my mum wasn't there.

She was a single mum with no family around and all neighbours were elderly and she didn't like to bother them.

This behaviour isn't right, it's very wrong, but lets not call the woman a loon. She could just be at her wits end, with noone around to help and maybe not be mentally in the best of ways, and was desperate for some staples (baby milk?) But, yes, leving a baby is way different to leaving children. But still not right.

Nancy66 · 15/06/2009 22:42

I think people giving her the benefit of the doubt are being a bit naive - she went shopping and left the baby at home alone, she probably does it all the time.

You'd be surprised how many people do this - i lived over the road from a woman who used to leave her newborn while she took and collected the older ones from school.

pickyvic · 15/06/2009 22:44

hi niggle are you a police officer? (thats not a sarky question - im wondering if you are)

the section of pace your referring to is section 17 - to break into a property to protect life and limb - but as the mother was already in there with the baby that wouldnt have stood up. you cant just bash your way in without just cause.

nigglewiggle · 15/06/2009 22:51

Something like that!

Every situation is different. But I would argue that, despite the fact that the mother(?) has returned home, concern has been raised for the safety of the child. The welfare of the child cannot be fully established by viewing them from a bedroom window, so entry would need to be made and the child's safety fully established.

It would obviously be best all round to persuade the woman to allow entry, but her refusal would add to suspicion that the child's safety is in doubt. If she continued to refuse then entry would be forced.

SolidGoldBrass · 15/06/2009 22:52

Nancy: Why shouldn't this woman be given the benefit of the doubt? Why is everyone so keen to label her stupid or neglectful or evil? And there is no evidence at all (the OP says she doesn't know the woman, has no idea whether or not there are other people living in the house etc) that the woman regularly leaves her baby alone. She appears to have gone to the supermarket, BTW, not the local crack den or to have her hair done.
It could have been something as simple and stupid as her having left someone (a cocklodger or a partner or a lazy teen) with the baby and that other person having put his/her headphones on and got absorbed in a computer game thereby not hearing the baby crying.

Nancy66 · 15/06/2009 22:56

Solidgold - because you have to engage common sense and look at what the likeliest scenario is based on her odd behaviour.

She insisted there was somebody in the house but refused to prove it, she wouldn't let the police in and she made up some bollocks story about losing her key.

If I had popped out and left somebody babysitting and all my neighbours thought I was guilty of child neglect I'd bring the babysitter to the door pretty sharpish.

MollieO · 15/06/2009 23:02

Does it matter where she went? She left a baby alone. If she did have someone babysitting then why didn't she open the door and show the police? No excuse to leave a baby on their own in the house.

SolidGoldBrass · 15/06/2009 23:04

Well if she left someone else in charge and that person fucked up, then she would want to give them a bollocking on her own terms and not necessarily have the police in. LOTS of people are reluctant to let the police into their homes and that is not unreasonable.
I don't think it's common sense at all to jump immediately to the worst conclusion when you know nothing about the situation.

nigglewiggle · 15/06/2009 23:12

But I don't think anyone would suggest that the OP did the wrong thing in calling the police?

hatesponge · 15/06/2009 23:12

She has no obligation to let the police in though does she?

Calling the police as the OP did was the right thing to do imo; as has been said someone in the house could have been taken ill/hurt themselves.

Acting as judge and jury to this woman without knowing the facts as many people are on this thread is imo wrong because no-one knows the actual circumstances of what had happened!

hatesponge · 15/06/2009 23:12

She has no obligation to let the police in though does she?

Calling the police as the OP did was the right thing to do imo; as has been said someone in the house could have been taken ill/hurt themselves.

Acting as judge and jury to this woman without knowing the facts as many people are on this thread is imo wrong because no-one knows the actual circumstances of what had happened!

Nancy66 · 15/06/2009 23:14

Oh come on - she didn't leave anyone in charge, it's obvious.

And we DO know about the situation. Distressed child - mother not in house.

I'm all for giving the benefit of the doubt where it's warranted but I don't think this is one of those situations.

nigglewiggle · 15/06/2009 23:15

Hatesponge - read my earlier posts - yes she does.

LastOrders · 15/06/2009 23:22

Maybe she had a seriously sloshed husband in the armchair and she reckoned it would be ok to pop out cos at least someone was in the house? Maybe she didn't want police to enter as she thought leaving DC in care of a drunk was worse than leving DC alone?

We know nothing of the situation, we cannot judge. But, yes, OP done the right thing in ringing the police.

Nancy66 · 15/06/2009 23:27

so, negligent mother and drunken father? Oh but we shouldn't judge?

It's not judging and giving people the benefit of the doubt that leads to tragedies like Baby P. Where child welfare is concerned yes we should judge and we should be disapproving and we should act when we are suspicious.

pickyvic · 15/06/2009 23:30

surely if she had nothing to hide she would have just let the police officer in and explained.

people who are too cagey often have something to hide ime. its worth digging a bit anyway. no harm done if nothing doing.

LastOrders · 15/06/2009 23:36

Acting when suspicious and sat on a forum judging and branding the woman a loon when we know nothing of the situation are 2 different things, no?

Nancy66 · 15/06/2009 23:41

Why do people keep saying we don't know what happened? The OP gave a pretty detailed account.

She was suspicious and did call the police.

pickyvic · 15/06/2009 23:41

absolutely. but can only go one what OP is saying, on on that info id want to know a bit more. see im just nosey but that makes me a good copper....the more you ask the more you find out.
can only assume the officer that dealt with this tonight was either satisfied with the explanation or is taking appropriate action. either way no one else will find out. so this on MN is all speculation. but the OP was asking if right to phone police and id say yes she was. no harm done and better to be safe than sorry.

pickyvic · 15/06/2009 23:42

this forum moves so bloody fast! my last comment was to last orders...

LastOrders · 15/06/2009 23:44

Yes, she was very much in the right to call the police, as it sounds like the woman in question needs some sort of help, and this may be the trigger that sets it all off, whatever that help may be.

LastOrders · 15/06/2009 23:46

Come on. Keep up, pickyvic!

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