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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think that my darling teen niece has lied about something so serious she has potentially ruined someones career?

354 replies

ReesiRoo · 13/06/2009 11:37

My lovely neice is 13 years old. Since the start of secondary school at age 11 she has been bullied. Although it has been all verbal and never violent, it has had a huge impact on her life and i've seen her go from a bubbly, confident girl to one who sits in her room constantly and doesn't know how to communicate anymore. It got to the point where DNeice was getting abuse from most of the kids in the class at every lesson, at break time, walking home from school, so it was happening several times a day. She is very bright but hates school or anything remotely academic as a result of the bullying.

My sister (neices mum) knows all about the bullying but has as much told her to get on with things and tell the kids to fuck off. Easy enough if neice was like that, but she is so painfully shy, it is never going to happen. I have thought about going into school to sort it for neice, but I didn't want anything bad to come of it, like making it worse for her, or my sister and I falling out. My neice has asked sister to move school on so many occasions, but Dsis has always refused, just for an easy life I suspect.

So now after 2 years of this DNeice has made an allegation towards one of her teachers. I can't go much into it but the teacher has been suspended and police have been involved. Dsis is STILL making DNeice go to school while all of this is happening and somehow, the kids in her class have got to know about it and as you can imagine, her life is a living hell with all the questioning and pointing, and word spreads quickly, so most of her year know about it now.

Thing is, I think my neice's allegations are false. I completely understand her reasons for coming up with this allegation, she wanted a way out, a way to actually make sis send her to a new school as it was probably the only way for her to get out of this hell hole of a school. I don't know what to do. If I ask DNeice directly, she will think I don't trust her and I am really the only adult figure in her life who she sees as reassurance and trustworthy, someone to talk to (least I hope she feels that way). Please advise.

OP posts:
LolaTheShowgirl · 13/06/2009 17:31

Sunnygirl, I understand why you are saying these things though so i'm going to bough out now, but I will forever maintain that my posts today and everyday have been true.

Ciao netters ;)

summerbird · 13/06/2009 17:37

i sussed when 'reesiroo's' internet connection went down but she was updating 'Lola' on MSN

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 13/06/2009 17:47

A quick search of 'Reesiroo' shows that she bizarrely has been working part time in an office job but also in a village theatre for (alternately) 18 months in March, but just under a year in Feb. Including one AIBU post about "throwing a sickie" when (according to her) she would have been about 6 months pg with twins.

What gets me is that her posts are so boring. Why troll with such mundane crap?

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 13/06/2009 17:50

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LaurieFairyCake · 13/06/2009 17:53

Dittany - do you really think the OP is an abuse 'denier' and is posting stereotypes?

Leaving aside the issue of people trolling the OP and subsequent responses do not read like that to me.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 13/06/2009 18:01

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AlloGirl · 13/06/2009 18:03

Why are you feeding the troll by still posting on here??? I don't get you people.

expatinscotland · 13/06/2009 18:04

I couldn't agree more, Reality.

It's such bullshit.

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 13/06/2009 18:07

Reality, I agree. Just basic attention seeking I guess, and fine if it's spotted, but as well as possibly really upsetting people, it must make new posters scared of posting genuine problems.

AlloGirl · 13/06/2009 18:18

some people don't learn, do they? ffs.

TripleTroubleMuffin · 13/06/2009 18:19

RIMOD- I have felt for a long time that Lola is an attention seeker. Remember her first, or thereabouts post, about make up and it was on a doll?

I have reported this to MNHQ but have no faith in anything being done tbh.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 13/06/2009 18:28

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foxinsocks · 13/06/2009 18:39

I don't think this is feeding a troll. I think this is outing one and a good thing at that.

Personally, I think people who do this should be banned although I realise it's not my decision. Someone who seems to take great pleasure in drawing people into threads like this deserves to be kicked off the site imo and I'm not one for censorship normally.

Reality, I wouldn't be surprised if you found most of these fake dv, abuse, rape threads come from only a few people if not one person tbh.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 13/06/2009 18:50

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violethill · 13/06/2009 18:52

Don't know whether there's trolling going on here, but I totally 100% agree with scaryteacher's posts. I would damn well sue as well if I had a malicious allegation made against me. And it's got fuck all to do with not having compassion! I've got compassion in bloody bucketfuls, I'm a damn good teacher, I give 150% to my job and no way would I sit back and let my family be destroyed by anyone. Of course most kids who do this sort of thing are going to have a screwed up life in some way - either they're plain nasty and malicious, or they may be from a dysfunctional family as in the OPs case, but that doesn't give them the right to destroy another person's life.

If this is a genuine post and the girl really did lie, then yes, it may well have been a cry for help to get noticed, but she deserves the consequences for doing this really bad thing, and I for one would hope that the teacher will take action. And if it doesn't happen now, then remember she will have the threat of action hanging over her.

expatinscotland · 13/06/2009 18:58

'If this is a genuine post'

It's not. It's the product of the sick fucking troll who has nothing better to do than make sick stuff like this up.

hercules1 · 13/06/2009 19:10

Jesus, this thread has made me feel sick. Why on earth would anyone make it up? It's beyond comprehension.

AitchTwoOh · 13/06/2009 19:11

wowsers. lola, my god, this is sick in the head if you've made this up. i hope you're getting help with RL.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 13/06/2009 19:16

Fabulous. Now, when a genuine person comes and asks for advice about a false sexual allegation, no one will believe them, or at least be very dubious.

violethill · 13/06/2009 19:16

Agree with Aitch. If this is made up, then Lola, this is not normal behaviour, you need help.

violethill · 13/06/2009 19:17

And agree with that too ilovemydog. Fucking disgusting.

Kimi · 13/06/2009 19:24

Not getting involved in the whole troll think but would like to say sometimes I can get MSN but not Mumsnet, or Mumsnet but not email or email but not skype.

So it can happen

shoshe · 13/06/2009 19:26

I dont normally speculate or comment on trolls, but unfortunately I do think Foxy is right and alot of the troll threads are from the same person, it does seem as if, as one troll is outed, another pops up, in a very similar style.

TripleTroubleMuffin · 13/06/2009 19:27

And it will continue while nothing appears to be done.

LaurieFairyCake · 13/06/2009 19:29

My troll radar is still not going off and I keep musing on this thread.

It's not going off as it's much much cleverer and articulate than all the recent trolls. If it had been like the recent threads then the OP would not have posted from the position of empathising with the child, it would have been inflammatory and melodramatic and would have come from far more of a Daily Mail point of view. Some of the recent ones have been masturbatory ones.

So that would leave attention seeking. Like the EC ones were and it's just such a plausible story.

Right now I'd rather believe the OP as I don't want to believe that Lola is an attention seeking troll.