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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get so fucking bored by the "my husband left me today" threads in relationship forum

171 replies

Rollergirl1 · 12/06/2009 23:52

I'd rather read the daily mail.

OP posts:
Pan · 15/06/2009 09:39

No, not offended. It's just a bit juvenile? Yes there are some times in life when ONLY the f-word will do! But it's gratuitous use, like in this thread title, is just common. There.

ChippingIn · 15/06/2009 12:39

Oh, that's a completely different thing, of course the gratuitous use in the thread title is common - just like the troll poster

Stigaloid · 15/06/2009 12:51

YABU

poshsinglemum · 15/06/2009 15:21

So op, if you ever do get into a relationship (if you are not already in one)
and he leaves you then should we assume that you won't be posting on here for support?

thumbwitch · 15/06/2009 18:28

well said Pan.

Lucia39 · 16/06/2009 07:08

Rollergirl: You need to realise that MN is, to a large extent, a web version of a woman's magazine. Hence there are the usual sections on children, recipes, and fashion. There is also a version of the "agony aunt" but instead of an "expert" offering advice the contributors give theirs. It's definitely more "Woman's Own" than "Cosmo" [when it started out] and, unfortunately, has very little to compare with "Spare Rib".

As to the abuse - get used to it - I think it provides a fillip for some people - rather in the manner of teenagers who would never swear in front of adults but think it's "cool" to do so amongst their "friends"!

I daresay that amongst the sympathy and advice there is also an element of Schadenfreude when it comes to discussing/reading about someone else's marital breakdown!

Pan · 17/06/2009 06:43

Lucia39 - at a time when men are being pushed unwillingly into the fore-front on MN, I do see why you have been mistaken for a man posting here. You do have a wrting style ( and so a thought process) that is quite judgemental and more than a little condescending. I think it's summed up with "That Tone" which one or two so far unnamed male posters are accussed of possessing.

As for magazine comparisons, you do MN no justice with your limited range on offer. There are spare ribbers a-plenty, TV-guides, Puzzle mags, Heat, Computing Weekly, Times Literary Review, Me And My Baby, Caravanning Weekly, Private Eye, Red, Bum Sex Special ( made that one up), Spectator et al. You just need to drop the "better than thou" attitude.

Lucia39 · 17/06/2009 07:56

Pan: You really do need to try not to see everything I write as some sort of attack/condemnation. I stated that this site is "to a large extent, a web version of a woman's magazine." Therefore I was not being dogmatic and stating that it categorically was an online woman's magazine but that it had features that are similar to those found in print.

As to my "tone", it is not "judgemental" as you put it, as I rarely remark on the life-styles and comments of individual contributors, although I admit to making a couple of sarcastic remarks regarding the general subject matter of some of the conversations.

However, on the net we have none of the benefits of face-to-face discussions and no body language or inflection to assist in understanding each other. Therefore we have to rely entirely on what is written, with the addition of one or two emoticons. Given these constraints I do try to write in a rational and coherent manner in the hope that what I write will not be misconstrued.

If, by this, you consider that my manner of writing is more masculine than feminine then, of course, you are entitled to your opinion. However, I regard your implied suggestion, that such a style is ipso facto an exclusively male preserve, to be extremely derogatory towards women and very sexist.

Pan · 17/06/2009 08:01

I said nothing of the sort as you say in your last paragraph. As well as undertaking to write carefully as you claim, you perhaps could also make attempt to read carefully.

Flightattendant348 · 17/06/2009 08:04

Oh dear this is easy. Pan's right, Lucia's wrong.

Now stop it both of you and this might drop off AC.

PuzzleRocks · 17/06/2009 08:05

Actually Pan, I have a subscription to Bumsex Special. Would you be interested? You get a free tube of preparation H with the first three issues.

thumbwitch · 17/06/2009 09:17

pmsl PuzzleRocks.

well said Pan.(again? tsk, I'll get meself the label of being one of them arselickers that daftPunk was referring to - ugh)

Lucia, you have been known to comment extensively on others' posts and in a most derogatory fashion.

Rollergirl1 · 17/06/2009 10:13

I can't believe this thread is still limping on. I think it is time to move on.

But I will respond to a few comments:

Please rest assured that if my husband leaves me I will most certainly not be logging on to Mumsnet to post of my woes.

Labelling someone common because of the use of swearing in the title thread is just lazy.

The abuse doesn't really bother me. I have been posting on internet bulletin boards for the best part of 10 years and am therefore used to and amused by in equal measures.

Finally, I am not a bad person. But if you insist on thinking of me as such then so be it. I shan't waste my time trying to persuade you otherwise. But I will continue posting here. I just find it quite funny how quick you all are to jump on someone that dares to say something a bit different. You are mothers, not sheep.

I won't look at this thread again.

OP posts:
daftpunk · 17/06/2009 10:17

have a nice day....

Jumente · 17/06/2009 10:17

Oh Shut Up you silly woman.

Jumente · 17/06/2009 10:17

That wasn't to you DP!

daftpunk · 17/06/2009 10:18

lol

islandlassie · 17/06/2009 10:36

Attention seeker....... yawn

Lucia39 · 17/06/2009 11:58

pan: I suggested you implied it I didn't categorically state you had written it.
You wrote:
"Lucia39 - at a time when men are being pushed unwillingly into the fore-front on MN, I do see why you have been mistaken for a man posting here."

From that I infer that some people perceive my writing style to be "masculine" because you went on to write that:
"You do have a wrting style ( and so a thought process) that is quite judgemental and more than a little condescending. I think it's summed up with "That Tone" which one or two so far unnamed male posters are accussed of possessing". [sic]

In other words you are suggesting that my "tone" is reminiscient of two male posters.

I gave my reasons explaining why I write as I do -and I find the suggestion that anybody who adopts a style of prose, which you consider to be "condescending" and "judgemental", must either be a man or be "mistaken for a man" extremely patronising to women.

You seem to be suggesting that you consider women incapable of writing in a dispassionate, lucid, coherent manner and I find that offensive and downright sexist.

Pan · 17/06/2009 17:56

oh give it a rest Lucia. I am.

2rebecca · 18/06/2009 11:08

I just wish they'd change the thread title to "my husband left me 3 weekes ago" when they start a new thread on the same subject 3 weeks down the line. Will the thread title still be "my husband left me today" in a year's time when they're onto their 10th thread?

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