To be secretly pleased that the girlwho attacked DS1 on Friday

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Is sporting a black eye where he hit her back?

Mine too, but I don't think more violence is any kind of answer.

But what to do though? The priority is stopping the bullying, and kids will respect someone who fights back. If the school deals with it, that's good, but in most cases it doesn't happen that way. Kimi has the anger of a mum who's seen her child suffer, so I don't think she's wrong either, it's a normal reaction IMO.

I don't really believe in scummy shits, just damaged people

especially children

I think the key is the school's attitude and their level of responsibility and commitment to tackling bullying issues

I would be up the teacher's/head's/PTA's/governing body's arses until some better arrangement was put in place for punishing bullies and tackling the causes of this behaviour. Doesn't the school have a SEAL programme or a pupil buddying system, or a school forum? Those things can help and should be in place, and if nothing else works the offending child needs to be excluded.

So what is the answer the Greensleeves?

I agree with exclusion, as it goes, as long as the school can make sure the victim isn't punished by the bullies mates for it.

But none of that happened Greensleeves the school was not interested, OP had even called the police (if my memory serves).

I have to date seen my son come out of school with

split lip after being pushed over
both legs covered in bruises where he has been kicked
his face bruised down one side where he was repeatedly punched
trousers ripped where he has been pushed over (5 times)
His tongue split where he was pushed over and his teeth went into his tongue.
his arm being clawed to bits and skin dug out by the little bitch girl

Accused of being racist, told to toughen up, kept off the playground so that he was not near the bullies , a mobile phone planted in his bag, him accused of making comments he has not made and the other child admitting he had lied. Plus numerous other things.

I was always of the mind that violence doesn't solve things. But Now i disagree because this girl has learnt one thing and that is the ds1 willhit back. I don't care if it was a girl he hit. She is bigger than him and so maybe she should be taught not to hit someone smaller? I am Pleased he did it and I will stand by him 1000000000%. If a girl wants to hit then she has to be aware that she deserves all she gets back.

Do you have to keep putting my name in bold? It freaks me out

I agree the school are failing both children. I would be agitating for a change in their approach to bullying. Quite forcefully. If no joy, I would be reporting them to OFSTED and the LA, and looking for a different school.

TheLady I can really understand your position here, I really can and I'm not seeking to belittle your son's suffering at all. Of course you just want the bullying to stop - who wouldn't?

But from a more detached perspective I don't think what has happened is a positive outcome. That girl isn't any less of a bully. Neither child has learned anything about why it's wrong to hurt others.

LES poor little boy.
I hope the school do sort this girl out.

As for damaged people maybe but why should they then be allowed to damage others?

The mother of this little shit would not have it her child ever did wrong and the father encouraged it saying to get respect you use violence. lovely family

Sorrym Greensleeves nothing personal I just tend to do it when replying so it is immediately obvious from glancing at a post who the reply is directed towards.

Well the girl has learned that when you hurt others there is a good chance you will get hurt back, which seems an important lesson to me.

Kimi nobody is saying that they should be allowed to damage others, only that slugging them back is a sticking-plaster solution that benefits nobody in the long term.

I will leave this now as I have made my point

I really do feel for those whose children are being bullied, it must tear your heart open. My ds1 gets excluded and a bit picked on - that hurts me enough, I would be beside myself if there were physical bullying as well

OP I deeply hope your ds's school life will be easier from now on.xx

Oh yes, I remember the glee the first time my ds1 hit back.

Kimi: 'The mother of this little shit would not have it her child ever did wrong and the father encouraged it saying to get respect you use violence' - but that is exactly what you are saying too: get bullied / retort violently to bully / bully then respects you.
Your argument is scewed.

And to constantly to refer to children as 'little shits' is totally unhelpful and lowers any pertinent points you might make to the level of the playground.

I did not hit the little shit, my son did not it the little shit, I don't know the boys who hit the little shit but yes I was glad he got a taste of what it felt like....

If you are a violent person then you will attract it your whole life, there is a book running as to how soon this kid ends up in young offenders so I am told, not one parent I can think of at the primary school he went to could stand him, he had a go at almost everyone, he got ask to leave 3 pre schools, this boy is never going to amount to anything, and the school is as much to blame as the parents as they let him get away with it.
Mybe if someone had made the parents take him off to CAMMs or get some outside help for him he would have a chance but he has none.

The mother moved his sister to another school and someone I know who has a child there said the daughter is as bad and the whole lot of them are nothing but trouble.

As for the boy he has been playing up a his new school (seems mummy moved likkle precious as soon as he got a kicking and he is now in the local sink school) Parents of this years year 6 are dreading their kids having to go near him again (still have one at the primary he and DS1 went to. I guess the boys that gave him a kicking would be year 10 not 5 always forget they don't start at year one in high school now as I did so he would have been 11/12 and them 15/16. Not saying its right, just saying it made me smile....a lot

The saddest thing is that these bullies are same ones that go on to rob other kids at knife point, gunpoint whatever. They end up assaulting and robbing OAPs. They do end up in prison. One of the boys that bullied my ds (when they were both in year 4) has recently come out of prison having done time for GBH.

These pathetic HTs in primary schools do these kids no favours by pretending it doesn't happen, or pretending it is the victim's fault - because they are clever/ annoying/different.

Bullying is a huge problem in society - not just in schools. It starts in primary school, and should be taken seriously and dealt with there. IMO.

Kimi, I think your anger is a natural reaction to the suffering of your child. I know I was over the moon when my son beat a boy twice his size after being scared of him for a while. He hasn't been touched since, and is now happy at school.

Boys who hit girls turn into men who hit women. It's just wrong.

I'm in an abusive relationship, and tell my 2 not to hit girls. But this was an ongoing thing, the boy was being tortured, that's what bullying is. He lost his temper in the end. He didn't just randomly go and thump a girl.

what do women who hit men turn into? delicate flowers?

Jemart, I hardly think him hitting back once in 5 years will make him a woman beater fgs.

oh, so a girl who repeatedly bullies a boy is clearly damaged and needs help and understanding, yet the boy who has been repeatedly bullied by the "damaged" girl and hits back once is going to turn into a man who hits women? Fuck me, no wonder society is screwed if people have that attitude.

LMAO wannabe, sorry that made me LOL. I oubt he will be a woman beater but maybe this will have helped his confidence a bit....and why shouldn't it eh?

meant to say when i collected him i saw her eye and i guess he must have really socked her one.